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Summer
02-16-2005, 08:19 PM
My ex-boyfriend has full custody of his 5 year old son and the mother is not in the picture at all, and has not been in the picture for quite some time now. So he is both mother and father to this little boy. He is an excellent father and more fathers should be like him, to a degree. What my problem with this is...my ex-boyfriend has to be around his son 24/7. His son lives with him, goes to work with him some of the time, he goes to school, I think like an hour and a half or two hours a day. No before or after school programs. His son is his entire world, which I think is wonderful. But...to me he is a little obsessive over his son.

He told me one time that his son is his best friend and that he would rather be with his son than really anybody else. He would get angry with me if I asked for "adult time", meaning just me and him. And I did not ask for that all of the time. I just wanted maybe 1 or 2 times a month for us to go out and have some entertainment without his son. He would ask his son where he wanted to eat or what he wanted to eat. We would eat where he wanted to eat and ate what he wanted to eat. It's like his son was the adult instead of the child. He would get so angry with me if there was something going on that included only adults and his son could not be included. He could not understand why his son could not be included. He includes his son in everything, no matter what it is.

This little boy is rarely out of his fathers sight. The mother is no threat, so it is not out of fear of her snatching him. His son is actually an awesome little boy, and I adore him to pieces. He is 5 years old going on 30. He is so smart and can talk and write so well for a 5 year old. I never had a problem with his son, it was more with my then boyfriend. I feel bad for his son. I feel because of this, he is going to resent his father or have psychological problems because of this or have separation anxiety. But he has made me out to be the bad person in this because of his love and adoration towards his son. Am I out of line or wrong on this. Please any input would be of great help to me.

martha
02-16-2005, 09:31 PM
I think that you might not be grown up enough to see your boyfriends perspective. He is doing exactly what any parent that is the sole provider SHOULD do.

He is putting you on the back burner to raise his son.

I do not think anything you mentioned is obsessive. He sounds like a great dad.

I think you should look into finding a guy that can spend all of his time with you.

That little boy needs his dad and I am so glad to hear that he is thinking of him before you.

In my opinion, you don't love your boyfriend or the little boy seriously enough to make the relationship long term.

I am not saying this to be mean, but as a a former single parent, I would have ran like hell if I came across a male with your attitude.

ErikasMess
02-17-2005, 01:57 PM
I completely agree. GFs/BFs come and go. His son needs his dad way more than you need him as a BF. A father/son relationship like theirs isn't going to send either one into therapy.

OnTheEdge
02-17-2005, 05:25 PM
I'm sorry, but if he is an ex-boyfriend why is this your problem anymore?

I agree with the others. Sounds like an excellent father to me.

FireTaco
02-18-2005, 04:52 AM
My husband is that way with our 2 year old son. He's his only child and my husband absolutely breathes for him. I like it that way.