Sibling rivalry

[ajandcjsmom]

my dd's are 4 and 2. Right now they are at the stage where all they do is fight, over toys, clothes even (dd #2 gets some hand me downs, which dd#1 still wants to wear but doesn't fit into) The few times they have played nicely together, its usually only for about 15 min. Even when dd#2 is playing quietly dd#1 will come and disrupt her which starts another fight. Its usually pushing and screaming, but its really starting to wear on my nerves.

I am NOT looking foward to the teen years.

[Paka]

My middle two are like this. They have a definate love/hate relationship...one minute they're lovin, the next they aren't. They're 15 mo apart, I'm not sure if this helps or not.

When things start to get really nit picky, they get time outs or seperation....which they can't stand for fear of missing something.

I just find it amazing that a toddler can emit an ear ringing (literally) sound for so long. I think I'd break something if I tried! :lol.

[SCREW YOU]

I cant wait!!!!
at least i wont have to worry about the clothes issue......unless isaac gets girlie on me :eek

[MikkiZ]

HOLY HELL this is my house!!!! This is 2 sons :hiya They are either totally in love or beating the crap out of each other. It has gotten to the point that if there is no blood shed I tell them to work it out for themselves!
I am trying to read Siblings Without Rivalry and How to Behave So your Children will To, but so far no luck!!!

[Shelley3]

2 boys might be different than girl/boy. :dunno My two youngest are boy 4yrs, girl just turned 2yrs. They rarely fight or argue over toys. In the last year there have been a few times they do the "gimme- that's mine! I had it first! Mine mine mine!" thing and you know what? If they fight over a toy- that toy suddenly becomes moms. It gets taken away. They learned real quick that fighting over a toy did NEITHER of them any good because then neither one of them gets to have it. They now work out their differences without fighting/arguing/hitting/grabbing back toys/etc. I will admit though- that it's more the 4yr old giving in probably atleast 60% of the time. He's figured out there's no point fighting- because if he gets hostile with her (verbally or physically grabbing it back/etc) and an argument ensues- he ain't getting the toy anyways! It's gonna go to mom! :lol
BUT on the other hand- that's fine because they were having problems mostly when he played with her baby toys anyways! And I think he was just doing the "she thinks it's interesting and fun so I want it" type of thing. Now he plays with his toys and she's really not AS interested in what he's playing with anyways. Voila- no more problems. :lol

But boys.... that might be totally different. Because they BOTH might like the same types of toys then. :eek

[Shelley3]

Oh and btw- I do this with my older two also (the 4yr old and 8yr old). I give them a warning if they are fighting over a toy- y'all better work it out and decide what's fair. One of you play with it for awhile and then share by letting the other play with it for awhile. If you can't figure it out and *I* have to get involved- it's outta there. (meaning I take the toy away). This solves all my problems of tattle telling and he said/she said about who had it first/etc. All I do is remind them they better figure out how to share said item or it's going to be taken away for the rest of the day. And then I stick to that.

[Shelley3]

Oh shoot I sometimes hate not being able to edit. LOL

I wanted to add that this may take time and they might backslide at times- but they really will figure out how to share this way. I can't tell you how many times I've heard this from the other room (like if they are playing in their rooms and I'm not in there):

Hey, I wanted to play with that (or hey, I was about to play with that, I got that out to play with it!)
Well I've got it now!!!
I'm telling mom... moooommmm
No wait wait- you can have it back. But let me play with it in a few minutes- okay?
Okay

:lol
(with the younger two?):
Pretty much the same except the younger one obviously can't talk as well as the 8yr old. :lol I usually just hear them arguing for a couple seconds and then they figure it out one way or the other who gets to play with that toy at that time or they end up playing together with it. They learn rather young that the toy is going to disappear all together if they don't share. :lol