The Rules

[turkeyjoe]

Rules that Guys Wish Women Knew



- If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer. If we have to answer, then you are forcing us to LIE, and either way, your feelings are sure to get hurt.


- If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; then expect an answer you don’t want to hear.


- Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.


- Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.


- Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides. Don’t try to change that, just let it be.


- Shopping is not a sport, and NO, we are never going to think of it that way.


- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!


- Crying is blackmail.


- No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.


- Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.


- Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?


- “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question you ask us.



- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



- Anything we said 18 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.


- If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.


- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.


- Don't rub the magic-lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.


- You can either ASK us to do something, or TELL us how you want it done, but not both.


- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials, or wait until half-time.



- The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.



- All men see in only 16 colors, like MS-Windows default settings, so Peach is a fruit, not a color.


- Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.



- If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about having sex with her. But don’t worry, the fantasy includes you AND her, together.

link

[ticky]

I thought this post actually pertained to RULES.

[AMG]

I thought there was gonna be a rule about no female bodily functions

Cool you hit it right on Joe. No problem convinceing me! Problem is trying to convince our significant others.

- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



She would've called and talked about a flat tire, from her cell phone, a half block away, and expect me to just empathize. Men fix stuff. That's what we do.

I thought she was the only one that did that.

I truly have been supported now.

Originally posted by turkeyjoe
Rules that Guys Wish Women Knew
- No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

link

Does it work if we just buy ourselves things and say "look at the cool thing you bought me" My dh gets off easy because I can't stand surprises so I buy all my own gifts. He never has to remember an important event (although he is better at remembering our anniversary than I am. I always have to stop and think)

[turkeyjoe]

http://www.sybermoms.com/forums/show...&threadid=7580

[Sloth]

I'm sorry.

I came in here just to see TJ's AV.

Thanks Turtle!

[Sloth]

TJ Has it nailed.

- Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.

Then sit yer arses down!

Thought these were actual rules. Had me laughing though.

oh man, i've been emailed this before and it still makes me laugh. nice postb

Yeah that list of rules is right on!!! But of course my wife would disagree with all of em

Fuckin-A, bubba

Oh yes.

haah good post!

[mab]

Originally posted by turkeyjoe
Rules that Guys Wish Women Knew

- Crying is blackmail.

Screw you.

And you, too Deer Hunter.

[turkeyjoe]

[Zitty Anus]

Haha, nice list.....

My favorite one is:

- If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer. If we have to answer, then you are forcing us to LIE, and either way, your feelings are sure to get hurt.

Solution: go exercise right now!!!!!!!!!!! And stop eating KFC and McDonald's and Pizza, whats wrong with you???????

[iamlove127]

It seems like that you have already done a good job. Then I should follow your guide. Thanks. Could u please post more in future? Haaa.wow gold cheap wow gold