Then they should both go to someone who can deal financially and emotionally. They are brothers. Dylan and Riley weren't raised together either, not until Riley was nearly 2. I can tell you without hesitation that the relationship between those two brothers is the most important connection in both their lives. It's about what's best for those two brothers, and imo that is a stable, financially secure home where their relationship can flourish and they both get what they so badly need.

I know someone who let her grandson go up for open adoption, knowing she was unequipped emotionally to raise him. She is very much involved in her grandson's life, and he has a wonderful, loving home parents who are financially and psychologically more than able to provide. This is no time to be selfish or sentimental.