I am for the most a Sahm. Thursdays I have a cleaning job that pays me 60 dollars for 21/2 hours. It is a nice way to have my own spending money. I can take the kids with me in the Summer and during school I am alone. I do travel about 25 minutes to get there but that is not that long. So today I am there and my son says "mom why do you do this? Why don't you get a real job?"
I tell him that this is a fine job and if I got a "real" job that I would not be able to be at their beck and call. Well he responds to me that he would rather have me work and make money so that he and his sister could have nicer things!
I was hurt a bit by this but then kind of understod what he meant by it.
We live on a budget, my Dh is a good worker and he brings in plenty of money to live on. We buy good food, I buy name shoes and I have to admit that I do not buy clothes unless they are sale items.
My son has a bike and my daughter has a bike they are not new they were bought used and this was one of his arguements about me working. He has friends that are less fortunate then us and they have better bikes then he does! I reminded him that we travel and do family events and eat well, which most of the kids he is speaking about do not. Their parents do not even know where they are from 8 to 5. We are also taking our kids to Disney on Sept. 6 this is a trip that we saved very hard for. I explained that if we bought brand new bikes everytime they grew out of the old ones we would not be able to save money for fun trips. I added a little exaggeration to it I know.

Now to get back to working. Should I go back? Should I do something? Are my kids at the age where I am being selfish? I really do not know. What are the "right" ages of children to not have a stay at home mom anymore. Anymore being the key word.
I phrase it this way only because they are used to me being here all the time. I have no quarrel to a mom that worked since baby was 6weeks or older.

I used to work I taught caligraphy at a high school. It was a further education program for adults. The hours were in the evening and DH was home and it was only three times a week.
I also worked at an Inn in Vermont. I was able to bring kids to work with me at that job. I ran the front desk and my boss would set up a graco playpen for me to use.

I can not even think of a job around here that I could do. I am in Philadelphia now. People and jobs are not so friendly as they were in Vermont and upper New York.

I am contemplating going out there to find a job. I want to make sure that it is the right time and for the right purposes. I know that making my kids happy is number one priority but is new bikes the key?

Have any of you felt this way?

I also have a partial college education. I have been looking into going back.

thanks, KIM

My opinion on the subject is this. No matter if you worked 2 1/2 hours a week, 40 hours a week or did the strictly sahm thing kids will find something they want changed. There are pros and cons to every situation.

I think it sounds like you have a nice balance to it all and should keep it that way. That's just my opinoion though.

ITA with what Blondie says. Kids will always find something to complain about. I remember saying something similar to my Mom. Looking back, I feel kind of rotten about it. We never wanted for anything, we lived within our means. My first bike was one that was never claimed from the local police station. My second bike was one I saved up babysitting money for. I am really proud of my parents for the way I was brought up. I can only hope to be as good of a parent to my son.

I think that what is most important is how YOU feel. If you are happy, then don't change a thing!

I am happy. I like being here baking cookies so they are warm when I bring the kids in from school. I like being the homework foreman. I love being the SAHM

I think it is that time of the year when my house needs to have the Big family sit down talk. I should have Dh's opinion on all of this too. I really like being here for my kids. I do do jobs here and there to have extra money.
I took a job in May doing construction work on homes. I did drywall and learned a bit of tile skills mostly took down wall paper and painted. I banked 2000 dollars alone for this trip to Disney. I liked doing it but I was never away from the kids they were at school. I worked what hours I could.

Maybe my son does not see that I have a real job. Maybe I should let him do his own laundry and plan dinners and clean and take care of the bills! I really hope that he did not hear someone say I was a slacker for being at home and not working. :cry

You know, your posts remind me of an article that I heard of. If I come across it, I will post more info.

A good friend of mine is a SAHM, she took care of my ds for 4 months while I went back to work. She used to be my boss! She read an article that tallied up what the cost would be to hire someone to do everything that a mom does and be "on-call" 24/7/365. It was some absurd amount of money close to 500,000 dollars!

You have jobs! It sounds like you are really enjoying being a SAHM. You should be proud of yourself for doing what you love, and taking on paying work as you see fit to help fund some fun.

I think all moms go through this thought process. I have done WOHM, WAHM, SAHM and now work part time in a combo of WAHM/SAHM. I have had mixed feelings about each of these situations. I guess we just have to feel out what works best for us.

I think getting your son involved in chores is a great idea. My 2 yr old loves to "help". I am sure this is just a phase, but for now I encourage it.

My sisters two kids, who are in high school, do not know how to do their own laundry yet! I am flabergasted.

It sounds like you're happy being at home.

If your kids want new bikes, let them earn them. They can help around the house.

It will give your kids a new appreciation for all you do.

Works on my 8 year old

thanks for all the input.

I really would like to see that article. The sound of it makes me realize that even though I do not make 30 grand a year I am a provider of many richer things.

5 dollars a week times 4 weeks
20 a month
5 months and Ds could have a new bike. Around April would be a good time to get one too.
We really never have done the allowance thing. We have a system of "caught you being good". They earn a CYBG by doing misc. things and just being well behaved. I think my Ds would like the idea of earning money to buy a bike. Now the question is what kind of chores and how many times a week.

How old is your son?

His chores should be fitted to his age and abilities.

Gott run! My hubby is home

You sound so happy about being a sahm! I don't think that you should sacrifice that for anything. If you are unhappy, it will cause more problems for you kids than not having a brand-new bike!

BigE-

My friend is going to try and locate that article for you. I'll post when I have an update.

my kids used to say "mom, why can't we stay at school for lunch with the other kids?"

i think they thought they were missing something by coming home

they have learned that they don't *need* every little thing and every thing doesn't have to be name brand
we get some stuff big ticket and then, like you, save on other stuff

if you went to work just so you could buy them more stuff or newer stuff or more expensive stuff, whatever, it really won't make anybody happier in the long run

if you can stay at home and you enjoy it and you make it work financially with a bit of juggling - more power to you keep it up

I agree that you should do what makes you happy. I work PT at night and I enjoy the time away from DS. I think that it makes me a better mother.
Don't let your kids guilt you into doing something that you don't want to do. Every kid is going to complain about something. I think that the only time that you appreciate anything your parent did is when you become a parent!