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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2002, 02:07 AM Thread Starter
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One of the worst days of my life...

Fuck, I found out today my step-dad has colon cancer! I am so upset and very shocked!

Yesterday was my dd's birthday party and that's when my mom and step-dad found out. She didn't tell me because she didn't want me to be upset on such a happy day. My poor mom had no-one to talk to at all, as every one in our family was at the hospital, because my Grandma broke 3 of her vertabraes in her back ( she has really bad osteoperosis) and has been hospitalized for it.

I am so upset I can't stop crying and my kids think I have gone crazy or something and I don't know if I should tell my oldest ones...

I will be going to visit my mom when he goes for the surgery...I wish that I could go now but I just can't, and I know that they need someone there as they are 5 hours away from the rest of our family, but I am 6 hours more away from there...

Thanks for listening whoever is reading this.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2002, 11:02 AM
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and that this is my personality.
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I am sorry. Do you know how bad it is? My Grandpa had colon cancer and had much of his large intestines removed and was pretty much okay after that. He didn't need a colostomy or anything. Hopefully, your step-dad will be so lucky too.

Hang in there!
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2002, 11:35 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks twinkle, no at this point he needs more test to dertermine how far it has spread and what treatments will be necassary. But I do know he will be going for surgery soon so hopefully it is only a few polups sp? and it's all contained to that area and hasn't spread. They just did the colonoscopy last week and then told him and my mom on Friday.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2002, 02:09 PM
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I'm sorry dolphin. If I can help you in any way, PM me. You are in my thoughts!
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2002, 10:27 PM
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dear dolphin, i am sorry to hear about your step-father. cancer is a horrible thing for any family to go through. i lost my grandfather last year to cancer fo the stomach and throat. he was like my own father and we were very close.
it was hard to tell my son, who was turning five at the time, that his popa was dying. the two of them were also very close, as we lived next door to one another.
it is amazing how children can develop a strong sense of where they are in the universe, how life works, and how to find strength in spirituality. he was amazing. he was a real touch stone for me.

although we don't want to tell our children such things and protect them from the ugliness in life, we have to do it. it is our job as parents to teach our children the trials of life and how to deal with them. our instincts tell us to shelter our children, but we have to do whats right in the end.
post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2002, 11:01 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you spider, I actually did tell my older children ages 11, 8, and 5. It was the hardest thing I had to do. It was easier to tell them of my husbands illness. As much as my children look up to their own step father, they seem to rever their "Da" ( what my kids call my step dad) and it was quite the blow to them. Right now they are as scared and confused as I am. Their lifes are hard enough right now with more than enough on their plates that no child should ever have to carry around kwim? I really have no idea what would happen if we lost both my husband and my step dad in the same time frame.

Yeasty, thank you from the bottom of my heart I mean that.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-27-2002, 06:48 AM
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Click here to enlargeClick here to enlarge I'm sorry dolphin. Hopefully it's something that can be taken care of easily with surgery. I'll be thinking of you.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-27-2002, 09:23 AM
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and that this is my personality.
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My Dad and Grandpa died within about two weeks of each other when I was 9. It was an amazingly hellish time for our family. I hope that everything works out better for your family. Well wishes and healthy, healing vibes coming your way.

I am not one of those who believe - broadly speaking - that women are better than men. We have not wrecked railroads, nor corrupted legislatures, nor done many unholy things that men have done; but then we must remember that we have not had the chance.- Jane Addams
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