I don't know if anyone remembers the long sob story I posted about how sick my mother was a moving to be closer to her. Well, I am getting really worried. It is not so much that she is physicaly worse, quite the opposite. She has been pretty damn good since we moved down. It is her state of mind that is concerning me. She is getting forgetful about really important things like telling her doctors information or taking her meds. She is also doing things that she knows are very harmful to her like drinking insane amounts of pop and eating a lot of chocolate when she knows her doctor has said she needs to loose a lot of weight. Then there is the foot and leg that is swollen to twice the size of the other one that she has yet to really mention to her doctor.
I don't think she is bad enough to be declared incompetent. She sounds and usualy acts totaly reasonably. She likely does know exactly what she is doing for that matter. I am at a loss and having a lot of trouble knowing when I need to stop just letting it go and start stepping in.
This sucks.

is it probable that she's depressed?

Highly probable, but I am at a loss about what to do about it. She wont dioscuss it with her doctor and refuses to admit it may be a problem. She also thinks her doctor is a moron so doing an end run would not work. She would not listen to her either.

How old is she, little_dem?

My mom has had to become, in essence, my grandmother's guardian. My g'ma is still with it plenty - she lives in her own home, can cook, knit, sew ... all the normal life tasks. But she is not qualified to take care of herself medically - she downplays the severity of her conditions, skips medication, lets herself be talked into harmful situations (hosting overnight guests for days on end, etc) so my mom and her brother had to step in and bear the responsibility for keeping her safe (and as healthy as they can).

It's a thankless task, though, and they are resented by many of their siblings (who conveniently live away and aren't able to actually help).

I'm not sure what my point is.

It sounds a lot like my situation honestly Revvie. My mom does not get taken adantage of really, but she is a piss poor self advocate. She is also only 59 years old.

She is so young that it is hard to believe she needs an advocate, but I wonder if the build up to her hospitalization last year, and her episode of non breathing, had more of an effect then her doctors realise. She just acts different now...

I'm sure my grandma wouldn't think she was being taken advantage of. The 'harmful things' are all things she would love to do - but seriously, it will kill her someday.

This fall, she was hospitalized once for asthma, once for pneumonia, and 3 days after she was released for pneumonia, she was back in for emerg. hernia surgery - TWO hernia repairs. On top of all that, she's an insulin-dependant diabetic who refuses to manage her sugars well (or can't, I don't know anymore) and is on meds for blood clots and asthma meds. Oh, and she's had dual knee replacement so a bit hindered getting around, pulmonary edema in general, a twice-over cancer survivor (a colonectomy and a mastectomy) ... The list is endless.

THey are seriously facing putting her in supervised care, and she will hate it. But if she remains non-cooperative, they have no choice, really. It sucks all the way around.

How long was your mom oxygen deprived?

You're grandma sounds a bit farther down the road then my mom, but they are on the same general track I think. I am sorry your family is dealing with that.

Well, we can't be totaly sure. When her respitory system finaly shut down completely it was only a matter of minutes before they had her intubated. She was still breathing on her own when the ambulance picked her up that day so she was in care when she went into arrest.

I wonder what effect the months of low oxygen levels did to her preceeding this though. I can't be sure, but the doctors think this was a long build up. She may have even had pnuemonia and a collapsed lung for up to a month before hand. She was also sick for years before and never went to a doctor. That has to have taken its toll.