I feel like running away (long)
Not away from my two boys or anything like that, and not away from an SO/DH. I'm a single mom. I just feel like running away from my issues. And it's funny, I'm smart enough to realize that leaving the city I live in now isn't going to magically fix my problems. I just don't know what else to do.
Three years ago my mom moved 3 hours away, to a small town. She was a huge support to me, and her moving was awful. Suddenly I didn't have as much support as I was used to. It was okay for a while because I had an aunt who lived in my building. She allowed me to feel like I could still offer my boys a sense of family, and was there if I needed 15 minutes to myself on a hard day. In Sept. she moved to Alberta.
Now I feel like I have no one. Which sucks, because I have some amazing friends. Who do help me, who are totally there for me. So why do I feel so alone? Why do I feel like I need my "mommy"?
I know you might be wondering what my issue is, besides being without family. It's hard to admit this, I'm on welfare. And it hasn't been for a short time either. I feel stuck. I feel scared. I know in my mind what the answers are. It's obvious, get a job! I feel like it would be easier to achieve that if I had the support of my mom and extended family up north. Because I can't find child care in my area. But then I wonder if that's just me making excuses. I am so confused, so sick of my situation. I don't know where to start to make changes.
Sorry so long...just needed to get it out of my head. And maybe someone has been in my shoes and can offer me some advice.