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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-07-2006, 10:14 PM Thread Starter
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Fuck.

Just FUUUUUUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I just need to SCREAM and let some of this pain out. Why is this so fucking hard?
My ex. The mother fucker. Got a girlfriend the weekend after I moved out of our home. She is already practically living there. I've been gone barely 4 weeks now. I've changed my phone number so he can't call me whenever she isn't around... but my email hasn't changed... I've caught him in so many lies, that I don't what is the truth anymore. He wants to remain "friends" Click here to enlarge He wants to keep in touch with my ds.. (He was with us for 6 years, and he's just about 8 now)

The thought of him being with another woman already makes me want to DIE. I was the one who wanted to leave because he spent NO time with us. Why does this still upset me so much? FUCK, it just pisses me off. I'm so sick of being sad all the time. Why is it so hard to remember the bad shit after leaving a relationship? He was fucking selfish, a leach, a taker, a 4 minute man in bed, a shitty, uninvolved parent, never had a fucking dime, and mooched off me all the time. He was also my best friend, he made me laugh, he made my heart beat faster, he was a fantastic keeper of the home, a hard worker...
What the fuck is my problem?

I can't bear to let ds go over there and interact with the girlfriend. I already want to claw her fucking eyes out. She was enticing him long before I moved out. She's closer to his age (I'm 12 yrs younger) and she has no kids. With her, its all fun, and no family. He now ignores his 2 boys who live at home, even though the youngest is only 16. He NEVER even knows where they are.

Tell me someday he'll feel some of this sorrow I'm feeling? Fuck. It just pisses me off how easily, and QUICKLY he moved on. I met him 4 years after he split from his wife. He was celibate for 4 years. With me, I didn't even earn a weekend, after 6 years. FUCKER.

Maybe this was my first real, deep love, and I've never had a Click here to enlarge heart before. I don't know. I can barely see through the tears, I haven't eaten a meal in 2 weeks. I just don't how to start healing.


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.


Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-08-2006, 05:18 AM
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I'm so sorry PLM. Click here to enlarge That does suck but it sounds like maybe he already was involved with her so maybe that's why the quick move-in? Not that it would make you feel any better.

I think that this signals he's moving on and that's why it's so hard for you--it's more final. Plus I know you've been feeling lonely lately. I know this is a cliche but it sounds to me as though you're better off without him. And karma is going to get him one day.

Can you see a therapist? It sounds like you could use a shoulder to cry on.

I hope your heart heals quickly.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-08-2006, 06:33 AM
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I'm so sorry. Click here to enlarge

I really don't know what to say. I wouldn't send my son over there to visit with her, though, especially since he's not his dad, and he's not showing much concern for you and your son anyway. But then again, why punish your son for what he did? There's no easy answer, is there. Click here to enlarge
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-08-2006, 06:49 AM
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Click here to enlarge I sure wouldn't send my son over there Click here to enlarge

It sucks and I'm sorry he's an ass. You did good by leaving and you and your son are better off.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-09-2006, 04:48 PM
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D, I've been psoting with you for YEARS now. Would you like ME (and maybe NoPeanuts) to remind you why you're better off without him? Because I can do that for you. Click here to enlarge

Every time you think of him with her, remember that she's going to be ignored and treated like a second class citizen and personal assistant, just like you were. He won't be any different, and he'll never change who and what he is.

You're an attractive, kind woman who can do a hell of a lot better than that asshole. Right now you need to concentrate on enjoying being alone though. It's been so long since you've had to see the world through your own eyes that you're going to need time to solidify your own identity. You've spent all these years doing what he wanted. You have to discover what it is that you want. Once you've done that, I think you'll see it the way I do.

Don't you let him keep you hanging on the sidelines. You're better than that.

I would threaten to come up there and kick your ass if you keep dwelling on this, but it would take me three days to get there and they'd lose my luggage. Click here to enlarge



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Kick ass art.

"I was just arguing global warming again this past week with someone. She watched Gore's POS movie and believes every freckin' work of it. I told her that he can't even get the hurricane on the cover to spin the right way, and that's just the START of the problems with that movie. Needless to say the conversation with her went downhill from there." -- a meteorologist friend
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 12:43 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthquake
D, I've been psoting with you for YEARS now. Would you like ME (and maybe NoPeanuts) to remind you why you're better off without him? Because I can do that for you. Click here to enlarge

Every time you think of him with her, remember that she's going to be ignored and treated like a second class citizen and personal assistant, just like you were. He won't be any different, and he'll never change who and what he is.

You're an attractive, kind woman who can do a hell of a lot better than that asshole. Right now you need to concentrate on enjoying being alone though. It's been so long since you've had to see the world through your own eyes that you're going to need time to solidify your own identity. You've spent all these years doing what he wanted. You have to discover what it is that you want. Once you've done that, I think you'll see it the way I do.

Don't you let him keep you hanging on the sidelines. You're better than that.

I would threaten to come up there and kick your ass if you keep dwelling on this, but it would take me three days to get there and they'd lose my luggage. Click here to enlarge

Everything you said is bang on. Because of all the years spent doing what he wanted, is half the reason I'm so lost. Now I have nothing to do, and lost what was my family. I miss Bren (the 16yr old) he was my buddy, and we talked about everything. I worry about him having not having someone to care about what he's doing.

I am dwelling on this. I suck for that. I wish I could remember all the bad shit that went down over the years with him, because for some reason, all I can remember is the good. Click here to enlarge

My ds is so sad. He wants to visit Dan all the time, wants to talk to him on the phone, etc. How to get a 7 year old to understand the situation, in a way that is age appropriate? He says to me "Dan still loves me, so I should be able to see him"

Good times indeed.

I'm trying to get out and meet new people, (other moms, etc) just to keep me busy. Its the fucking nights that kill me, when I have nothing else to do, but think about everything.

Yeah. Good times.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 01:03 AM
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I think keeping Gabe from Dan is a big mistake. Dan's been his dad for almost his entire life. No, you weren't married. But you were a family unit and when you left it was still a divorce. You can't just erase Dan; Gabe loves him and it's no different for him than it would be if he'd been the biological father.

Talk to Dan about seeing Gabe without the new woman. I think it would be in Gabe's best interest.

And I think you're doing well on the getting out thing. After all, you did make it to Chicago! Click here to enlarge



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Kick ass art.

"I was just arguing global warming again this past week with someone. She watched Gore's POS movie and believes every freckin' work of it. I told her that he can't even get the hurricane on the cover to spin the right way, and that's just the START of the problems with that movie. Needless to say the conversation with her went downhill from there." -- a meteorologist friend
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 11:11 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthquake
I think keeping Gabe from Dan is a big mistake. Dan's been his dad for almost his entire life. No, you weren't married. But you were a family unit and when you left it was still a divorce. You can't just erase Dan; Gabe loves him and it's no different for him than it would be if he'd been the biological father.

Talk to Dan about seeing Gabe without the new woman. I think it would be in Gabe's best interest.

And I think you're doing well on the getting out thing. After all, you did make it to Chicago! Click here to enlarge

I have tried to talk to Dan about Gabe being able to see him, and his girlfriend not being there. Dan doesn't seem to think its a big deal that she's around. She is there EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. She parks at his house, and walks down to her office.

Gabe was supposed to go there everyday after school because I have no caregiver for him right now, but I've cancelled that because of her. I'm half tempted to call her and ask her to pull her head out of her ass, and let Gabe and Dan have a bit of time.
Right now, I'm taking Gabe to some of Dan's hockey games. Its the best option I can come up with until Dan agrees to put the cumbucket on the backburner for a few hours a day.

It was a HUGE thing for me to go to Chicago! Click here to enlarge I swear, next time, I travel alone though!
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 11:49 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthquake
I think keeping Gabe from Dan is a big mistake. Dan's been his dad for almost his entire life. No, you weren't married. But you were a family unit and when you left it was still a divorce. You can't just erase Dan; Gabe loves him and it's no different for him than it would be if he'd been the biological father.

Talk to Dan about seeing Gabe without the new woman. I think it would be in Gabe's best interest.
By the way EQ, I copied and pasted this part into an email to Dan, and said this is what one of my imaginary friends thinks, and I agree with her.... 10 minutes later I got a phone call from him, and he's going to come by today, and take Gabe out, just the 2 of them.
Thanks for putting what I was thinking into a concise paragraph. Apparently, I couldn't get it across to him clear enough...
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PottylaMouth
By the way EQ, I copied and pasted this part into an email to Dan, and said this is what one of my imaginary friends thinks, and I agree with her.... 10 minutes later I got a phone call from him, and he's going to come by today, and take Gabe out, just the 2 of them.
Thanks for putting what I was thinking into a concise paragraph. Apparently, I couldn't get it across to him clear enough...
You made my eyes leak, and now I hate you. Click here to enlarge

I'm so happy for Gabe. Click here to enlarge



Praise Xenu!
Kick ass art.

"I was just arguing global warming again this past week with someone. She watched Gore's POS movie and believes every freckin' work of it. I told her that he can't even get the hurricane on the cover to spin the right way, and that's just the START of the problems with that movie. Needless to say the conversation with her went downhill from there." -- a meteorologist friend
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-13-2006, 11:03 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthquake
You made my eyes leak, and now I hate you. Click here to enlarge

I'm so happy for Gabe. Click here to enlarge
Dry your eyes, bitch! Click here to enlarge

He got himself arrested at the US border instead, and never showed up. Fucker. Too bad they didn't keep him. They sent him home.
More shit came to light, and now that I know fully, the type of lies he has told, I don't want Gabe around him. I want Gabe to have positive role models, not someone who now makes me second guess the past 6 years of my life.
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