I'm just really not it a good place at all right now. I have two wonderful little boys and a great job, but given the choice, I would rather stay in bed all day every day and just veg out. I have no energy and I feel like I could cry for weeks and weeks, but I never let myself have that time. I have to work and be a mother to my little boys (4 1/2 and 13 months) and keep our household functioning.

I'm so tired. So very, very tired.

I wonder about depression. Is this what it feels like? I think it would be totally reasonable to be depressed. Dickhead Husband left 1 year ago, when the baby was six weeks old. It's been a long year, needless to say. We still haven't resolved the whole divorce process and it's eating at me. I just want everything done and overwith so I can move on, in whatever shape that will take. But that is a very scary prospect at the same time.

I love my boys more than anything in this world and wouldn't change our situation, but it is very hard.

I know I'm rambling, but I just don't know what's wrong with me. I'm pooped.

I'm so sorry. You really should call you doctor though. I'm worried about you.

You do need someone objective to talk to, someone with no emotional connection whatsoever to what you are dealing with. Which is a LOT and it is completely understandable that your are totally stressed and tired of the whole damn thing.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I do agree that a call to the doc is in order, to consider antidepressants (and a good physical, if you haven't had one recently), as well as checking out a counselor to see they can help you find ways to get through this time.

Much to you.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. ITA you should see your doctor. Depression can certainly make you feel the way you are describing. It could also be something else, like a thyroid problem, or a vitamin deficiency. Are you eating ok?

You have a lot on your plate. It can all overwhelm you at times. I sometimes don't want to move and even though I should clean I don't have the energy. I agree with everyone else. Go see a counsler or a md. Depression is hard on you, your body, and the kids.

to you

You have a tremendous amount on your plate. I remember reading when he left you when your baby was only a few weeks old. I couldn't imagine and I was amazed by your strength, calm and determination.

I'm sure the long, drawn-out process has taken a toll; and like everyone else said, a therapist could help you sort things out and maybe even medication could get you through this really rough patch. I've done the meds route and I have to say, they really do help take the edge off and make life more bearable for a while.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Definitely see a doctor. You may also have something physically wrong causing/making worse how you feel. When I felt just as you are describing, my thyroid was completely out of whack.

Hope you find something that helps.

Yes, depression feels that way. You deserve to have time to "grieve" the loss of your marriage. Aside of getting to a doctor to talk to, do you have any time alone? Can you get out with a friend for some fun and possibly give her a wet shoulder while you let it all hang out?

with the suggestions above

Thanks everyone. I have a dr. appt on Tuesday, so I'll chat with my doc then.

Actually, I have felt very good this week. I don't know if it's because the baby has finally cut those teeth and I'm sleeping more or just that I've taken a day or two to just "be" and relax. I feel relatively calm and in a pretty good place. That's not to say that I wont' feel crummy in a couple of days again.

It's hard but I'll manage. I have perspective that I haven't had for a while. I can look at my beautiful boys and be so thankful for what I have been given in life that the current situation seems so inconsequential. Without my marriage, I wouldn't have them and I just absolutely can't imagine life without them. So with the bad came the very, very good.

I also know I'm a good mother to my boys and that makes things seem less daunting. I have my bad days where I'm tired and impatient and probably am not a good mother at that moment, but for the most part, I'm doing a good job and really feel proud of myself. I have inner strength and calm that I would have never know I possess had it not been for the breakdown of my marriage.

But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to put a sharp stick in Dickhead's eye!!

Glad to hear you're doing better.

You *are* a good mom & your sweet boys will grow up having a wonderful, strong mom as a great role model. You should be proud of yourself!

Glad you are feeling a little better and positive.