dysfunctional families - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
More Support Than Your 18-Hour Bra Stunned friends? Illness in the family? DH grating on your last nerve? Whatever has you overwhelmed, come on in for more support than an 18-hour bra can give you!

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 09:44 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
maelstrom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 14,582
Blog Entries: 31
           
dysfunctional families

My Dad is an asshole, sometimes by choice, sometimes by disinterest. Our contact is normally bdays and Christmas although every couple of years he turns up by phone all interested in my life before disappearing again. Well now he's dying, lung and bone cancer and likely has a year. Which he tells us over email with the don't call me, I'll call you routine at the end. I don't even know how to respond to him or if I even want to.
maelstrom is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 09:50 AM
Deb
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
Deb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Here
Posts: 4,103
           
ouch thats a tough one. I haven't had contact with my dad in 10 years. My mom once in 10. waaaaay more than enough

The only thing I can say is this. Whatever you choose to do, do whatever you can look back on in the future and not have regrets. (whoa that makes no senseClick here to enlarge ) You dont want to NOT do something and wish you did. Better to just do it and be the bigger person than live your life hating yourself and full of regrets.

If that makes any freaking sense at all ......

Summarized. no regrets.
Deb is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 10:20 AM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
novocain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Washington, DC burbs
Posts: 8,782
Blog Entries: 9
           
Wow, that really is a tough situation.

I don't have any advice, but I know how families like that are and I'm sorry. Click here to enlarge
novocain is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 12:34 PM
Wayward Wombat
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
dubby's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 37,550
           
maelstrom, do not necessarily be seduced by that "be the bigger person" "don't do something you might regret later" stuff (no offense guano loco)

take your time and just be with it for a while, and you'll decide what's right for you. we are so easily manhandled by the *blood is thicker than water* thing and it just is not true. don't let that shit influence you. you will figure it out, no rush and NO obligations. Click here to enlarge

Like Annie it's a hard nock life...

"Let it be far from my feeble mental capacities to extrapolate on my myriad examples that in my field of business led me to my conclusion that it would be better safe than sorry."
Soapy - because she is smert.


Fuck you, Narnia!

http://www.sybermoms.com/forums/showthread.php?t=252503
dubby is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 12:37 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
novocain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Washington, DC burbs
Posts: 8,782
Blog Entries: 9
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubby
maelstrom, do not necessarily be seduced by that "be the bigger person" "don't do something you might regret later" stuff (no offense guano loco)

take your time and just be with it for a while, and you'll decide what's right for you. we are so easily manhandled by the *blood is thicker than water* thing and it just is not true. don't let that shit influence you. you will figure it out, no rush and NO obligations. Click here to enlarge
Click here to enlarge absolutely.
novocain is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 07:48 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
maelstrom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 14,582
Blog Entries: 31
           
Thanks Dubby, I needed to hear that. All around me I'm getting the be the bigger person and ya know, right now I don't want to be the bigger person. I talked to my Dad and his wife on the weekend and it went okay but they asked me to call once or twice a week. I just can't do it. No mention of them calling just me sucking it up. My dh is being an unintentional jerk about it. He's more pissed than I am at them for stuff and is very blase about him dying. I need him to help me grieve.
maelstrom is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 07:50 AM
Wayward Wombat
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
Harlot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 42,678
Blog Entries: 1
           
Send a message via Yahoo to Harlot
Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge What a mess. I"m so sorry, M. I can see why you would feel that way.

I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now


I don't remember what day this is without coffee, but it's a day and it's going.
Harlot is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 08:38 AM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
mominatrix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 15,626
     
Send a message via Yahoo to mominatrix
Dammit, M
I'm sorry

I agree with Dubby about your so-called obligations. You do need to grieve somehow though, I learned that with my dad's illness.
Does he have email? Maybe a weekly general email that you are sending to other people as well...
mominatrix is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-02-2006, 02:14 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
Cowgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: somewhere, over there and up, turn around and back down
Posts: 13,975
   
i'm sorry, i don't know what to say as I know i would be no help, but the ladies above have excellent advice and i pray for peace (for all of you)
Cowgirl is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sybermoms Parenting Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself. Do NOT use an AOL email address.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome