Thanks everyone. i don't have anyone really. I am a single mom.I am not ready to talk yet. I am just trying to heal from the outside, then I will deal with the inside.

The pharmacy didn't have the ring thinging, but did have a kids inflatable ring (for the pool), that helped a bit, but my butt stuck to it. I think I will go with the shallow square foot bucket.

I am going to try and get into see the doctor tomorrow. Where I was bitten on my abdomen, I think he ripped some tissue and it's incredibly swollen. I just got my son to bed. He asked if I was 'okay'. I told him I slipped and fell on my butt at work. I hate lying to him, but he's 8 and autistic. Plus, I don't think is something my son 'needs to know'.

Thank you everyone for your support.

I'm thinking of you as well.

So, so sorry, thinking of you as well.

I am so sorry you have to deal with all this physical pain on top of the emotional pain. Please get in to see your doctor, if only to get some pain meds and a check on the bite marks. Do you have family or friends that can help you out with your DS while you recover

I know you don't know me, but If you ever need to talk or just vent, feel free to pm me.

I'm so very sorry. I wish there was more that I could say that might help you.

Thank you everyone. I am going to the dr today at 10:30. Pain isn't as bad today. I took some midol for the internal cramps.

They gave me some pamplets for Rape Crisis and help.

My mom is going to come and help with DS for a few days.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hope the dr. can give you something for your injuries.

Glad your mom can come to help out.

I'll be thinking of you.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Many good thoughts for you. I'm sorry.

Thinking of you.

Thank you everyone. I am leaving in 5 to go to the doctors. I will report back what he said.

Good luck, hopefully he can help you feel some relief. When you feel ready I would call the rape crisis centre, you should be able to just chat on the phone if that is where your comfort level is right now. Just use them as a place to check in, without needing to commit to really processing or digging at it.

My doctors office is full of friggin idiots. I was supposed to be seen at 10:30. They have me scheduled for 1:30. I would never have a drs appointment at 1:30 because I pick up my son at 2:30.

I am going to go to urgent care after 5pm. IDIOTS...ALL OF THEM ARE FRIGGIN IDIOTS! I am MAD and I know it's something to be stupid mad about but I am crying and pissed off.

Actually, it's not something to be stupid mad about - you have every right to be angry with their fuck up. And, on top of that, they're not being very compassionate to your situation. That makes ME angry.

You may want to see if that pharmacy place has a sitz bath... they're really good for people with hemorrhoids or post-partum swelling. Witch hazel in the sitz bath will help with the bites, as well.

I know that words on the internet can sometimes be just "words on the internet" but know that I am thinking of you and I am so sorry for what you are going through. If and when you need to talk, feel free to PM me or YIM me - khrystyanyea is my YIM screen-name.

Take care of yourself.

You have every reason in the world to be angry right now. As long as you don't show up at the doctor's office with a weapon or lose your temper on them, then stop worrying about how valid it is. You have a lot to be angry about and it is absolutely natural that this anger will overflow into areas that don't make sense to you. Another reason to try some rape crisis counseling, it helps you have a place to vent your anger and gives you tools to cope with it.

MoutHyMum and everyone else. Mom is flying in this afternoon. There is a rape crisis center that I am going to be going to. In some ways I feel good to be angry but I am not used to these feelings. I think I should only post in this thread for a while until I can get my head screwed on right. I have been holding myself together for the past few days for my son. I cannot bring myself to tell anyone what happened. I am ashamed that I was stupid enough to walk out at dark to my car and have this happen. Everything could have been prevented. Honestly, I thought I was just going to be mugged for my tips.

I know how normal and natural it is to try to explain it. I would suggest that your energy would be better spent trying to explain how HE is responsible for this, not you. Now you can step back and say lesson learned, I won't do that again, but you did not cause this. At all. The person who attacked you caused this. Had you not walked to your car then someone else would have walked to their car, and a rape still would have happened. One person here is to hold blame and responsibility, and it is not you.

I am glad your Mom is flying in. Does the crisis centre have a phone number? Maybe it will be easier for you if you spend some time talking over the phone with one specific counselor, spend time building that trust and then go in face to face? Does that sound like something that could work for you? I promise you that they want to make this as comfortable for you as they can.

This isn't your fault, you did not do this. I'm glad your mom is coming to help, I'm thinking of you.

moutHy, I have been talking with the rape crisis center. I am just not comfortable talking about it, yet. It's hard. Very hard. The only thing I can say is "I have been hurt".

Will there ever be a time when I can talk about it? Do I have to give details?

And as much as this hurts me, I am relieved that is was me than someone else. Does that make sense? I work with a lot of women, and I would never ever want this to happen to them.

i don't think you ever have to give details. i think that is definitely something you get to choose, kwim?