AKA- If I were having another kid it would be a home birth most certainly or I would at least hire a midwife UGH!!
naturally, I ASSumed as this was baby number 3 it would go smoothly, and was I ever wrong. This was by far much tougher than my past two deliveries.
Started on tuesday when I thought my water broke MAYBE , or maybe I peed myself. I was pretty sure it was pee but it kept me up all night worrying so finally 4 am wednesday morning I called my on call ob who said why don't I just come on in and get it checked out.
So definitely it was pee, BUT I had very high blood pressure , protein in my urine and hyper reflexes PLUS a ton of THE BLOAt, SO they decided to observe me for 24 hours including taking my blood pressure every hour and having me collect all my urine in an orange jug for 24 hours to ascertain if I had pre eclampsia (sp).
SO I sent my DH and the kids home and started my observation at 8:30 am weds. morning, they came by around 4PM to visit me but that whole time I stayed alone because I was supposed to just lay in bed between peeing anyhow and try and rest and get my BP down, it really sucked.
thurs. am the doctor comes in and says because my BP stayed high all night they are going to put a pill called Miso (sp) on my uterus because right now it i snot favorable and that might induce labor, think my cervix out etc. they don't even need to check the pee I had so carefully collected for the last 24 hours.
so I called my DH and he made it there later in the day and mil took the kids, we thought we would have the baby on thurs.
6 hours and the miso did nothing, so they put me on pitocin at around 6 PM.
Pitocin all through the night and I had only dilated a few centimeters more, so they broke my water around 10 am friday morning.
ar this point I was on an Epidural BUT because it had made me itch so bad they had given me nubaine (sp) and it's pain relief was kind of reduced and I hadn't had my Zoloft since tuesday and I was feeling all sorts of messed up.
we live only like ten minutes from the hospital so the nurse said that they had ordered the Zoloft but maybe it might be quicker if SH just ran home (this was around 10:45), so DH ran home.
WELL wouldn't you know , no sooner had DH probably gotten on the road I started having a much more intense pain and my 12:08 the baby was born.
My DH missed the birth
my uterus was not co operating So they kept me on the pit. and removed my epi. etc.
I had already been in a lot of pain and I wanted to breast feed etc. so I asked for some ibuprofen or something for the cramps.
30 minutes go by and no nurse, by this time my DH had returned (he got there MINUTES after the birth) and he went and asked the nurse what was up and they brought me percocet, and since I guess after all this time in the hospital and my DH missing the birth and the fact that I was just feeling not very good about the entire birth I got kind of exciteable so when I finally made it to the recovery room (my BP had to get below 140) the doctor prescribed me Atavan(sp).
so they brought me the Atavan and more percocet and I was okay, but pretty loopy next thing I remember is another nurse coming in and putting MORE atavan into my IV and giving me more percocet and me kind of not really realizing what was going on, to MY NExt memory of them apologizing for over medicating me.
I swear I lost at least half a day and DH said I was talking in my sleep and he literally had to hold the baby to my breast to eat because I was so spaced out.
I am just SO disappointed with how everything went and so mad at myself for not being a better advocate for myself.
as soon as they said "pre eclampsia" I was in OMG MY BABY mode though and totally freaked, and then I was alone and in pain and the whole thing just sucked all around.
I know there are a million things I could have/should have done differently and I have been beating myself up all week.
in the end I guess I have my gorgeous baby boy but here I am in my third and last pregnancy and again I was induced etc. and I never got that "magical" birth experience so I guess I am kind of grieving for that as well.