my mom is still in the hospital - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-06-2007, 03:18 PM Thread Starter
 
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my mom is still in the hospital

2 months Click here to enlarge

There are a lot of details I am learning about her past which are not very comforting. Now DQ says mom is crying every day. I am not doing well at all dealing with this.

I have made allusions to a rough childhood before-and you know relatively speaking it wasn't THAT bad but I dealt with it by "checking out" mentally and pretending things were not happening.

that is kind of what I am doing now.

it is hard for me to not be able to go up there but we are moving, we just had a baby and to be frank we cannot afford it.

my brother and his gf and their soon to 3 yo daughter have moved in with my parents, my dad moved himself into the basement and is giving them the house so they can help out with my mom. I am not sure if this is a good idea, but why would anyone listen to me? Why should I have any say?

I just think I am getting depressed over this, and the situation up there would only serve to depress me more-so maybe I shouldn't even try to go up there until things calm down or take a turn for the worse.

*sigh* I feel like a fucking asshole for even thinking these things, but it is a pretty complex situation.
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 12:52 AM
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I haven't read what's going on w/your mom, but I'm sorry for the pain/stress you and your family are dealing with.

Have you thought of seeing your doctor for yourself? I know the postpartum period after I had Zach was pretty rough, but I didn't realize it until much later...I should have probably considered taking something for the anger/depression issues. Having this heaped on top of your plate can be really overwhelming if you are already dealing with emotional/hormonal issues.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 08:12 AM Thread Starter
 
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I was already taking zoloft and I have doubled up my dosage, which has helped with the crying. I was waking up in the middle of the night, not being able to sleep and just crying - now that has stopped at least.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 08:24 AM
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I hope you didn't double up on your own.

Call your doc, maybe they can also rx something for that.

I know what you are going thru, its rough, but your mom is getting good care. Its tough I know, that you can't go see her. Is there anyway you can plan on a trip at some point to get up to see her? Even if your dh took some vaca time and watch the kids and you and the babe came up.

Fuck the typos
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 08:31 AM Thread Starter
 
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my DH used his vacation time all up when the baby was born, he doesn't have any more until next year which is when we are planning a trip home.

I spoke with my doctor before I adjusted my meds.

we are planning on going up in jan. and having the baby baptised up there.

part of me is scared to go up there, KWIM? It's complicated. I don't think I could get through it without DH there.

my mom does have tons of support -DQ is amazing, my brother is moving in with my parents , she has 5 sisters and 3 brothers close by plus her mom and nieces and nephews galore. I guess I mostly feel guilty or scared that my mom will be mad at me for not being there.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 08:41 AM
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Sorry for what you are going through Dunk
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 07:09 PM
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I'm sorry for what you're going through. My father was also in the hospital for two-three months. It is very stressful.

aka Jaws is 9!

aka ponytails is 11!

aka princess is 14
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 07:44 PM
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Dunkin, did your Mom have a stroke? PM me if you have questions. I'm a stroke survivor and would answer questions if that would help. Have faith that your mother is getting the care she needs.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-09-2007, 07:11 PM
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I'm glad that she's got a lot of support there and support coming from you over the miles. All you can do is whatever you can - mentally, physically, financially. I'm sure they understand that you have a family, too, and can only do so much. I'm sorry it's weighing so heavily on you.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-13-2007, 02:19 PM Thread Starter
 
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good newClick here to enlargeQ et al were able to get my mom insured so she will get good rehab and after care and my dad won't lose their house Click here to enlarge
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-13-2007, 02:39 PM
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I'm glad that things are looking up for your mom.

Take care of yourself. I had some family issues right after I had ds1 and I think I had a touch of ppd on top of it and I really should have sought some help. When you're already stressed family issues have a way of compounding the problem. Good luck.

Comparison is the thief of joy-Theodore Roosevelt
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