You know what else? Being married to a controlling, emotionally abusive asshole who treats you like you are always failing is a horrible way to live, I guarantee that as you are out and start getting on your feet you will realize in little and big ways just how much easier life can be without that over your head.
I don't want to project my own shit at you, but from your posts he sounds a lot like my ex. If so, guys like that thrive on you being this messed up person he has to rescue and fix and shoulder responsibility for-but not in a good way. In a shitty way that allows them to use that as an excuse for all their crappy behavior. He can pretend he's superior and beleagured and has "reasons" for getting away with asshole shit.
This has been a tough, tough road for me and I know it will be difficult, but please hang in there. Focus on yourself, get healthy, learn who you are outside of what you've been told and treated like. Slog through the rest and know that you'll come out of it better and happier and healthier.
I'm sorry about your kids, that has to be very tough. I know mine have been really snowed by their dad and he's used my coping mechanisms-both good and bad-over the years against me, but now they're getting to know the real me.
Sorry if that's too much projection, I feel for you a lot and will keep you in my prayers.