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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-10-2014, 09:31 PM Thread Starter
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just venting.

I've been really struggling with my faith. I realize that some or a lot of you dont believe and thats ok. But saying it outloud that either I am atheist or agnostic is really fucking hard. I dont know what to believe, I dont know how to believe and I dont know what I can do to fix it. I went to church 2 weekends ago and the only thing I could think of was how gross the message felt. Im glad it was a guest speaker but the words he used were triggers..."enemy", "bind", "satan", "tithe" and "financial freeeeedom" and all those crazy talk things you hear when you think of super crazy Christians. The thought of eternal death and being done on this earth scares me. regardless of what or where we go, even if it's nowhere. The thought of me dying and never seeing anyone I love ever again gives me an anxiety attack. But I also feel that if I believe in Christianity, it is because I am scared not because I actually think there is something there.
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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 03:45 AM
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Can I suggest you find a new church? One that focuses on the messages of Christ instead of hell fire and damnation? There is no reason it has to be all or nothing. You don't have to give up your faith just because some people are caught up in the old testament. Try a few places until you find something that feels right.

And that's coming from an atheist so I'm not trying to talk you into anything Click here to enlarge

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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 04:56 AM
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I was going to say exactly what coral said. I'm an aethiest, but I don't think all church is creepy, I think some have a lovely message. The one you describe sounds horrible and I would switch ASAP if you're not comfortable with it.

Or take some time off and check out some other types of places.

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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 04:59 AM
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Ditto to those two , find a different more liberal church. Some Methodist churches are pretty liberal as are many Episcopalian churches. The latter will probably be a lot more formal in ceremony than you are used to.

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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 09:47 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coralblur View Post
Can I suggest you find a new church? One that focuses on the messages of Christ instead of hell fire and damnation? There is no reason it has to be all or nothing. You don't have to give up your faith just because some people are caught up in the old testament. Try a few places until you find something that feels right.

And that's coming from an atheist so I'm not trying to talk you into anything Click here to enlarge

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It was just that one message, I actually like our pastor and his teaching.

I just cant go in there with a good heart. Im in a weird place right now. A lot of it is feeling overwhelmed, busy with school and work. Faith isn't fitting into my life I guess.
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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 09:48 AM Thread Starter
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Ill have to check out a methodist church. As long as they dont seem churchy and drawn out. Click here to enlarge Iykwim.
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 11:32 AM
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If you visit an Episcopalian church you will want to skip high mass .

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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 02:01 PM
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But saying it outloud that either I am atheist or agnostic is really fucking hard. I dont know what to believe, I dont know how to believe and I dont know what I can do to fix it.
...
But I also feel that if I believe in Christianity, it is because I am scared not because I actually think there is something there.
If you are thinking you don't like the message of your church, finding a new one is a good idea. If you are thinking you're an atheist, though--if you are no longer able to accept the claim that there is a god, finding a new church will not make a difference.

I think itís interesting that you feel you have the option of ďfixing itĒ as if doubting or realizing you donít believe is something you can fix. Or need to fix. If you donít believe something, itís because you havenít been convincedóor have been unconvinced, or have realized whatever convinced you in the first place doesnít persuade you anymore. Setting out to believe something, willfully, isÖI donít want to be a dick, but I canít think of another word but ďfaking.Ē Iím not unsympathetic. Iíve been an atheist since I can remember, and Iíve made the effort to fake belief off and on a few times. Itís nice to believe, comforting. But itís not wrong to not believe, and it gets comfortable quickly once you go ahead and are honest.

Mickey Mackey Boo Ba Boo
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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 02:05 PM
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*I don't mean "it's not wrong to not believe," to imply it *IS* wrong to believe. No offense intended to anyone, swearsies.

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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 02:28 PM
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I was going to say the same thing - find a new church, or at least try out a few.

We go to a very liberal church, The United Church of Christ. Their message is much more social justice and welcoming than most churches (even Methodist). In fact we have several former Methodist clergy in our congregation. I love it because a lot of the message is that we are here to help one another, regardless of faith, nationality, status, gender, sexuality, etc. and I love that my kids get that message, too.

Seriously - try a few churches, or at least look on some websites and see if anything appeals to you.
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post #11 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 03:08 PM
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I get you stains. I consider myself a Christian these days. It's not the same Christian I grew up with.

I worship every darn day though instead is just Sundays. Click here to enlarge


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post #12 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 04:23 PM
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I think most people's faith ebbs and flows and changes as their lives change. I know it's scary to feel like a foundation of your life is unstable, but it's completely normal. By questioning and searching you'll land in a spiritual place that is right for *you* and your family, and it may not neccesarily be what your parents raised you to be. If that means coming to terms with not being a person of faith then that's ok too and you will still have relationships that support and sustain you outside of a church.

One of my best friends who is in her late 40's has been a Methodist her entire life. They recently left their church because of a lot of reasons having to do with the leadership. They've been really enjoying having their Sundays to themselves, hanging out with their kids, not feeling pulled to join choir/Wednesday suppers/multiple bible study groups, etc. The first few weeks she felt so guilty enjoying that time and not feeling a void in her life. I told her that was silly. Click here to enlarge. That extra downtime let's them reconnect with their kids ( which is much, much more important that going to youth group meetings every week), relax together and feel at peace with each other. She's afraid her kids will grow up lacking without having a church home. I told her they can still have connections and community and faith without church. That taking their time finding the right church was much more important that just planting their butts in pews every Sunday.

I guess my point is that even people well into their lives can have a fork in the road when it comes to believing in God or not and making decisions on what to do with that belief.

"Hands that help are far better than lips that pray."

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post #13 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 07:54 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wren View Post
I think most people's faith ebbs and flows and changes as their lives change. I know it's scary to feel like a foundation of your life is unstable, but it's completely normal. By questioning and searching you'll land in a spiritual place that is right for *you* and your family, and it may not neccesarily be what your parents raised you to be. If that means coming to terms with not being a person of faith then that's ok too and you will still have relationships that support and sustain you outside of a church.

One of my best friends who is in her late 40's has been a Methodist her entire life. They recently left their church because of a lot of reasons having to do with the leadership. They've been really enjoying having their Sundays to themselves, hanging out with their kids, not feeling pulled to join choir/Wednesday suppers/multiple bible study groups, etc. The first few weeks she felt so guilty enjoying that time and not feeling a void in her life. I told her that was silly. Click here to enlarge. That extra downtime let's them reconnect with their kids ( which is much, much more important that going to youth group meetings every week), relax together and feel at peace with each other. She's afraid her kids will grow up lacking without having a church home. I told her they can still have connections and community and faith without church. That taking their time finding the right church was much more important that just planting their butts in pews every Sunday.

I guess my point is that even people well into their lives can have a fork in the road when it comes to believing in God or not and making decisions on what to do with that belief.
and FP too, it just didn't quote you...

Its not that I feel I have to believe or maybe it is, I don't even know. I have a fear of hell that probably a part of me actually believes in. Its also the fear of if I don't believe in heaven than this life is sort of worthless meaning, I love, experience and cherish for what seems like nothing. I love my life, my kids, my family and everything I have done but to have it end in nothing? Well that just doesn't seem right. I feel like there has to be something because then this is all for nothing, kwim?

*lost*

Sorry, my thoughts are so jumbled.
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post #14 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-12-2014, 03:18 AM
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There is so, so much meaning to life without the ideas of heaven and hell.


I'll just leave this here. Click here to enlarge

http://americanhumanist.org/Who_We_Are/About_Humanism

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post #15 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-12-2014, 06:20 AM
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I don't believe in hell either and my idea of Heaven is not the same as lot of my Christian friends but I believe that God meets us where we are.


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post #16 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-12-2014, 09:20 AM Thread Starter
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They I think, so if there isnt a God, who created the universe in its being? Whowhat created the sun ? How did atoms form at all?

Welcome to my brain, people. This shit keeps me up at night.


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post #17 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-12-2014, 07:09 PM
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Maybe you need some Ambien?

I'm not being snarky, I think it's not healthy to lay awake thinking about heaven and hell. I lay awake at night worrying about paying for college and my kid's health so I'm not judging you. I take trazodone on the nights I know I won't sleep.

Comparison is the thief of joy-Theodore Roosevelt
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post #18 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-12-2014, 07:15 PM
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They I think, so if there isnt a God, who created the universe in its being? Whowhat created the sun ? How did atoms form at all?

Welcome to my brain, people. This shit keeps me up at night.


Click here to enlarge
Atheists don't worry about shit like thatClick here to enlarge

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post #19 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-12-2014, 08:08 PM
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I gave up the beliefs of fundie Christian dogma over time as I educated myself on "things." That said, I DO still try to live by the teachings of Jesus as well as others, ie Ghandi.

I no longer belive the King James bible is "The Word of God." It isn't. It's just what it says on the spine and has about 46 authors, hence the contradictory messages.

I struggle to have faith in humanity, muchless faith in a being that loves us all so much but it we don't belive it, he'll burn is in hell for eternity.

Nor do belive that we are all children of God, except for the homosexuals or those of different faiths because those faiths aren't "right."

Religion is a manmade concept and is different from a cult only because of social acception. Religion has caused more death and suffering in the name of God than all the wars combined.

No one should belive in anything out of fear. I don't think God wants us to believe im him/her whatever because we're afraid NOT to.

Trust what your heart tells you and learn as much as you can about the history of religions and then maybe you can find peace and spiritual health.
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post #20 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-27-2014, 09:05 AM
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The thought of eternal death and being done on this earth scares me. regardless of what or where we go, even if it's nowhere. The thought of me dying and never seeing anyone I love ever again gives me an anxiety attack.
im atheist and non of that bothers me. so it sounds to me like you are not atheist, maybe agnostic but most likely just need a new church or a break from churches. you dont have to go to church to go to heaven. just stay home and read your bible and then when youre ready, look for a different church or maybe a different religion. try a bunch out, they let you do that, right? every sunday pick something new til you find something you like.

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