While We're Venting - Page 3 - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
More Support Than Your 18-Hour Bra Stunned friends? Illness in the family? DH grating on your last nerve? Whatever has you overwhelmed, come on in for more support than an 18-hour bra can give you!

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post #41 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 08:02 AM
Wayward Wombat
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Frankly the whole clean house thing was a major problem for us, because we both work full time and neither of us has the time, but apparently it's up to me to do it all.

So I hired a cleaning lady. He wasn't thrilled about it but he also wasn't doing anything else to help the situation, so he knows better than to say anything.

General Immoral Fuckery
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post #42 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 08:57 AM
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Have you tried crying in front of them? Click here to enlarge
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post #43 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 11:35 AM Thread Starter
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Click here to enlarge Doesn't work.

Mickey Mackey Boo Ba Boo
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post #44 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 11:39 AM
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I like to mix things by alternating my responses.

Sometimes I ask kindly.

Sometimes I holler.

Sometimes I weep in a pile of my own tears and spilled juice on the kitchen floor. (tuesday)

Sometimes I stomp around in a rage.

Sometimes I go on strike.

Sometimes I throw a big toddler tantrum.

They never know exactly what's coming. Click here to enlarge

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post #45 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 01:40 PM
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Click here to enlarge Doesn't work.
it works temporarily for me Click here to enlarge
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post #46 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-24-2014, 10:37 AM
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My professional opinion Click here to enlarge is that it really isn't about the chores, it is about f eeling disrespected. I can relate to that, our issues here are not exactly that same, but it doesn't really matter what they are, the point is that I feel disrespected, and dh isn't doing anything about it.

My dh doesn't understand what I mean by disrespect, to him, it is innocent forgetfulness Click here to enlarge we weren't arguing about it yesterday, but one of the things he does that I keep asking him not to do came up, so I said something, I said, "see, that is disrespect." He goes, "I don't do it on purpose," so I said, well what is it, a tic?" Click here to enlarge

I guess it is true that you can really only change yourself, so how about deciding to not accept disrespect anymore? I might try that today as well, it's a a work in progress.



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post #47 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-24-2014, 04:38 PM
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Sometimes dh will use the defense, "But I didn't mean to" when I'm upset. My response is that if he walked around purposefully doing and saying things to hurt my feelings or upset me then we'd have bigger fish to fry. Click here to enlarge

"Hands that help are far better than lips that pray."

--Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899)
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post #48 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-24-2014, 05:32 PM
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Quote:
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My professional opinion Click here to enlarge is that it really isn't about the chores, it is about f eeling disrespected. I can relate to that, our issues here are not exactly that same, but it doesn't really matter what they are, the point is that I feel disrespected, and dh isn't doing anything about it.

My dh doesn't understand what I mean by disrespect, to him, it is innocent forgetfulness Click here to enlarge we weren't arguing about it yesterday, but one of the things he does that I keep asking him not to do came up, so I said something, I said, "see, that is disrespect." He goes, "I don't do it on purpose," so I said, well what is it, a tic?" Click here to enlarge

I guess it is true that you can really only change yourself, so how about deciding to not accept disrespect anymore? I might try that today as well, it's a a work in progress.
I get this. It doesn't have to be a big thing either. Dh comes in the side door to the mudroom and shuts the door. He then takes off his shoes or boots and sets them against the wall. Not on the rug or shoe rack but against the wall. BEHIND THE FUCKING DOOR! so every time you open the door, you HIT THE FUCKING SHOES and the door doesn't open fully. We built this house in 2005 and he has been doing it ever since. I have been known to throw the shoes elsewhere (even outside Click here to enlarge) I think it is disrespectful. He thinks it is no big deal.

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post #49 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-14-2014, 08:10 AM
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My dh came up with a great plan to deal with the stuff that people leave out all over the house and don't pick up. We have a box in the garage with a change jar beside it that keeps track of how much money is in it. If you have to pick up other people's crap, it goes in the box and costs 25 cents to retrieve. Sometimes my son visits the box daily for his shoes or backpack. I get furious when dh puts my purse in there. Click here to enlarge (but I pay my quarter) Once every month or so on allowance day, we have a "day of reckoning" at which time you either purchase your items in the box or they get pitched. The bedrooms are often a disaster, but the main areas of the house are much more picked up than before. Plus you get the bonus of vengeance when you put something of someone else's in the box! We have over $100 in our jar now.
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post #50 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-01-2020, 10:28 AM
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