My professional opinion
is that it really isn't about the chores, it is about f eeling disrespected. I can relate to that, our issues here are not exactly that same, but it doesn't really matter what they are, the point is that I feel disrespected, and dh isn't doing anything about it.
My dh doesn't understand what I mean by disrespect, to him, it is innocent forgetfulness
we weren't arguing about it yesterday, but one of the things he does that I keep asking him not to do came up, so I said something, I said, "see, that is disrespect." He goes, "I don't do it on purpose," so I said, well what is it, a tic?"
I guess it is true that you can really only change yourself, so how about deciding to not accept disrespect anymore? I might try that today as well, it's a a work in progress.