What happens to a person/people - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-04-2014, 06:43 PM Thread Starter
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What happens to a person/people

who don't clean their homes? I'm not talking messy or even really cluttered. I'm talking filth. Full out, not cleaning for like years.

The people I'm talking about, and there's 2 families, present themselves to be clean bodied, not funk about them, for lack of better English.

One family is much worse than the other, but neither of their respective homes have been cleaned in years.

I can't describe it, and I can't take pics, and watching "Horders" doesn't touch what I've seen.

What happens to people to make them like this? They'll even tell you "my house is a mess", but "mess" isn't the word.

It's got to be a combination of mental illness and a general lack of knowledge on proper cleaning, right?

I can't even look at the members of one family's faces because I've seen the inside of their home. I posted about it before, but I've seen more out of necessity, and I CAN NOT go back in there. It's SICK.

I don't know what to say to them now, nor can I understand why they are like that.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-05-2014, 07:17 AM
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From watching Hoarders pretty much all of them have some level of Mental Illness and the family members who don't end up walking on egg shells to keep the Hoarders from flipping their shit.

I think in general they all know how to clean they just chose not to and then it gets to be such a big project it's overwhelming plus many of them are attached to stuff like a 7-11 big gulp cup. I do see how the children of hoarders don't know how to clean but most of the hoarders I've seen on tv were clean at some point.

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-05-2014, 08:45 AM Thread Starter
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For one home, it will take a HAZMAT team to clean it, and I'm not exaggerating. I don't know how to face these people now; they seem to be ignorant to what they live in one minute, and the next they talk about it being a "mess."

I'm trying to just lay low until I can process what I've seen; I'm afraid I'll say something that I'll regret otherwise.

I just need a "safe" place to vent it and put into perspective so that I don't make them feel worse. I just can't deal with filth, and because of that, I'm apt to open my mouth and be too honest about it if i try to talk with them before I should.

I think back on the times I've said "I've got to clean the mess out of my house" in front of them. Hell, my house is sterile in comparison, but then I don't have the same mental illness they share.

I don't mean to sound like I think I'm "better" than them, just cleaner.

But what gets me is the fact that he is fighting cancer, and losing, and she has horrid allergies. They have to know they need help. I've offered to help clean in the past, before I knew the state of the house, but they declined. People from their church have been in a couple times, why don't they try ti help? Maybe they have and were refused. I don't know. I just need to get it out of my system and move on and this is the safest place for that.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-05-2014, 12:23 PM
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You must not have seen many Hoarders episodes bc at least half of them are living in vile unhealthy conditions. One famy was literally pooping in bags and throwing them all in the upstairs of their house.

You can't help them if they do t want it. I'd just be sure to always meet them at your house or in public and never eat anything they bring to a potluck. It's frustrating but it's a very hard thing to get someone to chNge and even facing losing a house or kids rarely kicks a hoarder in gear.

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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-06-2014, 03:02 PM Thread Starter
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You're right, I've seen very few episodes because it's way too much for my pea brain to process. Click here to enlarge

They've raised their now 27 year old son in it and they wonder why he wasn't able to "make it" on his own. UGH.

I can't avoid them for forever, but I just don't know how to talk to them anymore. I've turned their problem into mine in a way and I feel terrible.
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