Feel like I've been punched in the stomache - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-02-2014, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
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Feel like I've been punched in the stomache

I had someone share a "funny little story" with me.

"I remember when you were pregnant with DS1. If we knew you were coming over we'd all go in and shut the windows and doors and smoke as many cigarettes as possible. Then when you arrived we'd all wave our hands like we were blowing away smoke and the look on your face...hahahaha. Then you'd sit there coughing and going on until you made your eyes water and get red and it was just too much for poor little pwincess WTM and her special little baby so you'd leave and we'd laugh at you for an hour after that."

I knew this would be my mother's idea of fun with friends, but it was my grandmother. I worshipped her. I loved her. I thought she had my back. Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge I didn't even like visiting her because the gang of assholes would see my car and invade the house.

I'm going to process this and assume this fucking piece of shit human being is lying, but what she's describing did happen at my grandmother's house and she was the one I was going to see and she was pretty adamant that if you didn't like her cigarettes you know where the door was.

I was born with bronchitis. Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge

Not granny. Click here to enlarge

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"The reason we feel insecure is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." — Steve Furtick
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-02-2014, 09:55 AM
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Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge

Was this your mom relaying this story? She's horrible, right? And there're others just like her in your family?

I'm going with, they are a bunch of hateful jealous assholes who can't stand the fact that you and your grandma shared a pure and functional relationship so they've got to shit on it. Click here to enlarge

"Hands that help are far better than lips that pray."

--Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899)
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-02-2014, 10:14 AM Thread Starter
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It wasn't momster, no. I cut momster off the minute the words, "I remember..." come out of her mouth now. I had enough of that shit for a lifetime and it really is my way or the highway.

This just came out of the complete blue from someone who just blurted it out after not seeing me for at least 25 years.

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"The reason we feel insecure is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." — Steve Furtick
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-05-2014, 08:20 PM
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I'm sorry Click here to enlarge I have a family of assholes so I know how you feel. Since it was 25 yrs ago, it is possible that the person telling the story is remembering wrong and it was your mother and not granny. Just remember that you are a better person than all of them. Click here to enlarge

Comparison is the thief of joy-Theodore Roosevelt
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-05-2014, 08:57 PM
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I'm assuming your grandma isn't alive, based on your posts, and you can't ask her directly.

I would err on the side of your grandma, and not on something that's just coming out now. At worst, and trust me I get that it isn't minimal-she wasn't vocal about stopping it. And it's possible she was never in on it. It is possible she was. You'll likely not know for sure and I'd go with your gut feeling on this, but I get that it's tough.

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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-05-2014, 09:02 PM
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Click here to enlarge. Hopefully you've decided to take the whole thing with a giant grain of salt and granny can live on untarnished in your memory.

"Hands that help are far better than lips that pray."

--Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899)
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-06-2014, 05:02 AM
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Click here to enlarge You didn't deserve that.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-06-2014, 05:50 AM
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It's possible that the asshole who said that was part of the "gang of assholes" that you mentioned and *they* did that without your grandmother being aware at all. If she was a smoker, it may not have occurred to her that the others were doing that to get at you. She was just going about her day as usual and probably didn't notice the "extra" smoke (smokers lose all sense of how bad it is). It is entirely possible that she had no clue that others were doing that.

Hang on to your relationship with your grandmother and just assume that all of the other people were, and apparently remain, assholes.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-06-2014, 09:31 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyerin View Post
It's possible that the asshole who said that was part of the "gang of assholes" that you mentioned and *they* did that without your grandmother being aware at all. If she was a smoker, it may not have occurred to her that the others were doing that to get at you. She was just going about her day as usual and probably didn't notice the "extra" smoke (smokers lose all sense of how bad it is). It is entirely possible that she had no clue that others were doing that.

Hang on to your relationship with your grandmother and just assume that all of the other people were, and apparently remain, assholes.
This does make sense. Although, I suspect she turned a willful blind eye to my mother at times and I have seen her join in, particularly when going after my cousins.

Granny is dead now.

Their loss.

I'm awesome. LOL

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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-06-2014, 11:06 PM
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You ARE awesome. Click here to enlarge I smell and shit load of jealousy and self loathing from the storyteller. My MIL was like this, all the way down to the "funny little stories."

I don't know if it would work for you or if you'd feel comfortable doing it, but the only way I got MIL to shut up with her "funny stories" was to tell her that I didn't find her story funny at all. Before she could open her mouth to be insulting and hurtful again, I told her that I loved her because she was my DH's mom, but that I did not like her, or anyone else who found humor in hurting, humiliating, judging etc... other people. She moved back to Tulsa not long after that. Click here to enlarge

You know in your gut how your G-ma felt about you, trust that. Tell your storyteller to choke herself. Click here to enlarge
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