Wayward Wombat
Hard-Core Sybermom
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Surrounded by chaos
Posts: 27,459
I'm assuming your grandma isn't alive, based on your posts, and you can't ask her directly.
I would err on the side of your grandma, and not on something that's just coming out now. At worst, and trust me I get that it isn't minimal-she wasn't vocal about stopping it. And it's possible she was never in on it. It is possible she was. You'll likely not know for sure and I'd go with your gut feeling on this, but I get that it's tough.