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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-25-2014, 03:43 PM Thread Starter
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Talk me down

from sending this letter to my sister. I'm sooooo angry. My blood pressure is sky rocketing. I know this letter would just add fuel to her fire, but maybe a conflagration is necessary with this colossal cunt.

Here's the letter, I'm sure you'll get the gist of what's going on. Again, she is refusing to fill me in on decisions made about my dad, or health decisions concerning him.


I often find that writing letters is the best way to handle conflict. It allows for reflection to occur before a response is made. That's not to say that you even need to respond, but I do hope you at least read this.

First, I'd like to ask a question. Exactly how many visits and phone calls do you think I should make over a certain period of time before I should be included in my dad's life? That, honestly, was a ridiculous thing for you to say. Do I visit as often as you? Probably not by a long shot. That does not equate with not caring. I, unlike you, am still working. I don't have the leisure time that you do. As far as phone calls go, who am I supposed to be calling? You? You wouldn't even give me your phone number. I do call Dad occasionally, and to be truthful, he hates it. He hates it when anyone calls, including you and Ruby. You should hear him complain after calls from you, when I've been there. He does NOT like talking on the phone. He never has. So, I don't spend time upsetting him.

Next, this goes beyond just being angry at me for not visiting enough for your sensibilites, though. Every time I go to his house, he tells me that somebody throws my phone number out and he can't call me, when he wants to. Funny how that happens. It's also pretty odd that all photos of me and my children disappear into drawers on a regular basis. That really upsets and hurts Dad. It doesn't bother me that much. I mean, it hurts a little, but mostly I just feel kind of disgusted that your deep anger hurts Dad and my kids. Unfortunately for you, you cannot erase my existence. I am his daughter, he loves me, I love him. You can't stop that and I think it is making you crazy cakes. So, be as angry as you want with me, but don't drag Dad and my kids into this. Why would you want to hurt either of them?

Lastly, I do not and never have had to get your permission to see my parents. It was very magnanimous of you to try, but completely unnecessary. One last thing, mom was the one who chose me to be the sole executrix of their estate for a reason and it wasn't because I had more time to do it than you or Ruby. She knew I would be fair to a fault and not try to take more than my fair share. Dad also told me that you two bullied him until he changed the terms of the will. He was nearly crying when he told me that. Shame on you. I would never have stiffed either of you, but you can count on the fact that I will go over this whole thing with a fine toothed comb, with you two in the mix.

Yes, this letter has a lot of my anger in it. I don't think I could have written with any less vitriol. Your dragon lady persona used to frighten me. I've since grown up and I'm just tired of it. If you push me hard enough, it will be counterproductive for you.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-25-2014, 04:36 PM
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Jesus. I'm sorry they suck so much. I think you sound remarkably reasonable and way less enraged than you could.
Click here to enlarge I hope you and your dad are able to make them leave you alone to have a relationship. Click here to enlarge

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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-02-2014, 09:19 AM
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Jeez Cal, that's GOT to hurt SO bad. Click here to enlarge

Personally, I think your anger is very respectfully communicated, and reflects the nature of genuine concern. Your sister, however; is presented as a very jealous and controlling bitch, and doesn't deserve your willingness to at least TRY to be as fair as you are willing to be.

Have you sent the letter? It's easy for me, as an outsider, to say "send it"; only you know the possible ramifications of doing so. Still, I say send it, if you've not already.

Now, I'm angry for you and you dad and kids. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
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