If anyone cares

So my mom is done with radiation and some chemo. She was supposed to have round 3 of chemo last week but she has developed diabetes so they had to get her sugar under control. She is now on insulin injections.

She has also developed a heart arrhythmia so they put her on a beta blocker. She has the cough again so they did another scan looking for some lung complication that I can't recall the name. So good news - she doesn't have that complication. Her tumor has also shrunk from 6.5 cm to 4.8cm so the treatment is working

My goofy ass decision to work 2 jobs for the price of one is biting me in the ass a bit I know the long term outlook for job #2 is so much better but it blows working 45 hours a week and adding 6 hours a week commute time to make the same money I was doing 40 hours a week at job 1. DH said I could always quit one of them if it was too much - I may have down into a stressed out PMS tantrum last week - but I am trying to get as much into savings as possible. Which would be a lot easier if I didn't need to do shit like buy new appliances

School is school. It sucks but I am committed and I will finish this bullshit. I feel like this degree plus my experience at job 1 and the training provided by job 2 might actually get me into something reasonable. I still kick myself for the teaching degree choosing to go bio. I could teach if I was willing to move but I am not doing that to my kids. Should have done math if I was going to do the teaching thing - better yet, I should have gone for the business degree from the start. I'm so tired of trying to make responsible decisions only to have them blow up in my face.

In 4 years, we will be free to go wherever opportunity takes us. I'm excited by the idea of not being tied down but I am also because in less than 4 years, all of my kids will have graduated and it makes me feel old and sad

I totally dreamed I was pg last night Its getting to me.

. You have an absurd amount of stuff on your plate right now. I don't know how you're keeping all those balls in the air.

Oh my goodness, I'm exhausted just reading that. I'm so glad your mom's treatments are working! Try to take a breath every once in a while.

Also, part of what freaked me out was that I thought my brother was helping my mom, which he is with driving her to appointments and keeping a good attitude BUT my brother is also a slob, as is my stepdad so they are creating work that my mom, for some crazy reason, feels obligated to do. I really want to kick both their asses so I'm going to have to make some extra time (extra ) to stop in and help on that front - either by helping with cleaning or kicking my little brother's ass

That is a lot. You should totally quit one of the jobs!

I'm going to end up doing just that. Right now we are all enjoying jen's Sunday freak out instead where I cry and act like a baby and dh tries to be supportive

To be fair to the man, he has almost completely taken over all the cooking and cleaning - which isn't really fair either since he has a stressful 50+ hour a week job. I need to get my girls on board more. They are more than old enough to take on some of the household stuff but they suck at it I have totally failed as a mother in that department

Oh hey - today I got a nice big reminder why big corporations fucking suck and that anything related to sales is so not my bag. The company dh works for - and my second job- just completely dicked him over and lost him his number one account. They also changed the pay structure for his commission which starts next month which would not have had much effect before but losing this very very big account will now fuck him twice. Oh! And they are also restructuring his commission starting next year that any inventory that doesn't move from his store - even if he didn't order it - is going to cost him 1% taken from his commission. This is the company that is supposedly a better opportunity? In theory, sure. The reality is fuck this shit. I am hoping that I can go back to full time at job 1. Business is picking up and I have solidified what I ultimately want to do (safety) and the big boss has several plants lacking in comprehensive safety programs. I need to set up a meeting. I guess I should be thankful that they made the decision for me? In the meantime, my husband, (who is on the patch right now so this is awesome ) is going to come home for a pity party in a bottle and peruse around monster.com.

That is a long, shitty, phone typo paragraph

Sorry. They screwed with dh and I am just freaking mad. Like can barely see straight angry. I will get over it. Life at my house lately... woo!!

omfg what a bunch of dickbags.

That really sucks. I hope you're able to go to full-time at the other job.

Jen I hope you can get it all straightened out. Good luck.

Shit, I am tired for you. I'm sorry there is so much going on right now.

You guys are awesome.

Full time at job #1 isn't going to happen. I will just leave it at that. I am dropping a day a week at job #2. If I take an extra class per term, I can cut my school from 4 terms to 3 and that will make losing the income worth it. I will actually come out ahead. I work one class at a time so it isn't extra in the day to day and a full day without husband or kids should help.

I've got my resume out there. Something better will come. In the mean time I will make school my bitch


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Girl, you are crazy lol. I have never been able to manage work kids and school. Hopefully, you find something new soon.