Please read this story before reading the rest of my post:

https://www.sybermoms.com/forums/show...almost+left+us

Story: For the last few days before this note, I have been telling dh to tie up the blind cords before he goes to bed. He'll pull the blinds down and leave the cords hanging. I guess he is either too lazy or forgetful.

Well, we were talking last night about things, and one of the things that upset him was the fact that he had just fallen asleep and I asked him to tie up the cords (this is the 3rd night in a row that he forgot). I had tied them up the first time, the 2nd and 3rd times, I got him to do it.

This is the conversation (as closely as I can remember):

dh-I was comfortable and had just fallen asleep and you woke me to tell me to tie up the cords."

me-I am talking about the baby's safety. His safety is more important than you being comfortable.

dh-The kid is not going to walk out here in the middle of the night and play with the cords. I would've tied them up in the morning.

My question is that he has called him on more than 1 occasion "the kid". Given the story in the linked post above, does calling him "the kid" mean that he is in anyway resentful of ds? *I* would never and have never called him "the kid". I think it is disrespectful. It might be something that I would call someone else's child, but not my own. Am I reading too much into this? I'm just trying to sort out what is going on in the relationship until we get counseling.

Not that I'm a professional or anything, but I am thinking he may feel a little more detached than resentful. Good luck with the counseling, I hope things work out for you.

What do you mean by detached? How can I change that? I don't want him to feel that way.

Is he involved in caring for your ds? I mean, in the daily stuff? Does he play with him, read stories to him, take him out?

I call my children "the kid" at times and I am nowhere near detached.

You should have woke him up in the morning the second the baby stirred and asked him to do it then--it's what he wanted and it might help him to remember to fix them before bed next time.

I call my dd "the girl", and like Sourpuss am not detached from her at all.

I do think it's as much his responsibility to ensure your child's safety as is it is yours. If you have to continually remind him to do things, it's like having two children. I hope your counseling goes well.

The kids' safety isn't something I get into a power struggle with dh about, ever. He doesn't either, if he sees me being more lax with our kids than he is comfortable with. I think waking him and sort of scolding him is more disrespectful than him calling his child, "the kid". I can totally see how you'd be annoyed and angered by him not doing something that is very high on your safety priorities, but you are your kid's mom, not your dh's

Is this a task that you are not physically able to do, and that is why you woke him up? Or were you just pissed he didn't do it? I mean to say, if I left a glass or something where the baby could get it and DH saw it, he would pick it up, not come and tell me to pick it up.

And my DH calls our children things like that quite affectionately. Up until we had the baby, he would call the oldest "kid" lots of times, or "the girl". Now they are "the girl" and "the other girl". This is said in love and to be silly - he calls them by thier names and by sweetheart, honey, cuteness, etc quite a lot as well.

We've called our boys "that kid", "the kid", "the kids", ect. I don't think it's disrespectful at all. I guess it would depend on the tone used? I also wonder the same things that Barbie does about why you woke him up to take care of it.

I hope counseling goes well for you both.

I used detached because of this:

Not so much that he called him "the kid". Some people become emotionally detached when they are depressed. It's just something to consider. Counseling is a good thing.

I think first of all you need to tie up the blind cords yourself (if you are physically capable) for your baby's safety. If you cannot rely on him to do it, there's no point in nagging him about it--because he just isn't going to do it.

I don't think referring to your child as "the kid" is meant to be disrespectful. He may not even realize he is doing this. I've referred to my child as "the kid" and I'm not detached, nor disrespectful, either.

I did read the original thread, BTW, so I think I understand your situation.

I think DH calling him "the kid" is minor in the scheme of things. It may be something that you could address during your counseling sessions. Sounds like you guys may have some passive/aggressive things going on.

Oh, and BTW, Babyface, thanks for trying to steal my points after I responded to your post (((BUTTFUCKS)))

The way he called him "the kid" and in the context and tone of voice upset me. Maybe I'm taking it the wrong way, but he has said it on more than one occasion.

Yes, I am physically able to tie up the cords. Let me explain further what transpired that night. Background info: ds currently sleeps in our bed at night...by himself. He will not sleep in his crib anymore. And he wakes more often when either one of us sleep in the bed with him. We will be buying a mattress exactly like ours to put on the floor of his room. Until then, the both of us are sleeping in the family room (me on sofa, dh on recliner). We were both lying down ready to fall asleep. I guess he had just fallen asleep, and I asked him to look over (he can see the window and I can't from our positions) to see if he tied up the cords. He said no, and I asked him to do it, since he was the one that lowered the blinds. I do not feel comfortable leaving the cord down over night because I am afraid I will forget about it. I don't want to take the chance. Simple as that.

You're welcome, sweetie.

In my defense, I saw your points on the ME before I checked this post.

Dh sounds a little depressed maybe or feeling trapped in a situation he's not happy in. To keep the peace I'd tie up the cords myself and not make a big deal out of it. I hope counselling works. When is it going to start? Did you post that? I can't remember.

Keep us updated.

Can you cut the cords and reattach the little knob thingies?

Not that that will solve all of your problems, but it will give you and dh one less thing to argue about.

Good luck.

I was thinking too...don't they make some sort of thing you can attach to the cords? Safety First or someone like that.

Found a link Cord Wind Ups

I hope this helps!

Oh and I meant to say I've seen them at Wal-mart and Target.