SAHM's who don't run/handle/use the family checkbook - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
Domestic Goddesses A place for SAHMs to discuss the finer points of bon-bons and what's new on all the soaps.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-22-2003, 03:19 PM Thread Starter
~X~
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
~X~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,551
     
Send a message via MSN to ~X~ Send a message via Yahoo to ~X~
SAHM's who don't run/handle/use the family checkbook

Do you get some sort of (I hate to use the word Click here to enlarge) "allowance" for extra stuff for yourself? Like, does your DH give you extra money for just casual spending when you want it?

If so, please explain so that I can talk DH into it. Click here to enlarge
~X~ is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-22-2003, 03:27 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
June Cleaver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 10,010
           
Click here to enlarge No. I have an atm card that I use freely. I do ask DH what bills have been or need to be paid and then check the account to see how we are "sitting" financially before making a purchase- but i'm an adult. I feel that spouses restricting the other spouses spending is a way to control them, and that is not cool.
June Cleaver is offline  
post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-22-2003, 04:11 PM
Wayward Wombat
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
max e. pad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 14,535
           
i earn my fun money by doing things like selling on ebay and training people to use their computers.

we are on a pretty tight budget.

if i really needed extra money for something, dh would give it to me. it isn't a control thing at all that dh handles the finances. it makes more sense, as he is self-employed.

it is not dh restricting me from spending. it is both of us restricting what we spend money on, if that makes sense.
max e. pad is offline  
post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-22-2003, 10:28 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
GoatFucker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: outside your window
Posts: 9,087
Blog Entries: 1
    
Send a message via Yahoo to GoatFucker
I pay the bills, balance the checkbook, do the budget, ect.

I have an allowance, for each of us, in the budget. We both get the same amount of fun money, per month. We each have ATM cards that access the account, and Dh has a good idea of how much money is in the account so if he needs extra money, he gets it.
GoatFucker is offline  
post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-23-2003, 12:35 AM
cataclysm
Ambulance Chaser
 
Posts: n/a
The only reason dh handles paying the bills is because I hate doing it, so it's not a control issue. I have an ATM card & a credit card I can use freely. (Keeping in consideration what we have available in our account & how much we can afford on the cc, of course!).
post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-23-2003, 10:03 AM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 918
 
I hate doing the bills and I make dh do them when he is not out to sea! When we were on a tight budget we each got a set amount in cash every week. It was the same amount for both of us and we could spend or save it for whatever we wanted. Now that money isn't so tight we don't do that any more. We just both make sure we don't spend too much on extra's without running it by one another.
Poptart is offline  
post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-23-2003, 04:42 PM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 792
 
I do not do the bills. I don't want the responsibility. I take $500.00 cash every other week. Out of this I buy the groceries (about $250.00, plus the milk order - about $60) The rest I use to buy lunch out with the kids, or spend on whatever - so that I have cash in my pocket. If there is something more I need I just use the bank card or the Amex.
Milk4Free is offline  
post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-23-2003, 05:32 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Flying by the seat of my pants, and loving it.
Posts: 2,572
 
Send a message via Yahoo to 3xLady
I use to handle all the household finances, then dh and I switched. I still have free access to our funds and spend them when and where I see fit.

I see our funds as OUR, regardless of who is working outside the home. I feel as though I am a adult and do not have to ask permission to go buy myself a new bra.

My bf has to ask her husband for everything and it has caused quite a few fights in their marriage over the years.
3xLady is offline  
post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-23-2003, 07:03 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
Barbie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Nuthouse
Posts: 15,052
      
Send a message via Yahoo to Barbie
I hate doing the bills, etc so he does them. When he's deployed I do them,but he helps by making some nice quicken charts. I just hate doing it, it's definately not a control issue - he would love it if I did them.

We usually open up a "spending account" wherever we live. He just takes money and fills it up once in a while. Also, tax returns, etc usually go in the spending acct. I don't have to account for any of that money in any way.
Barbie is offline  
post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-24-2003, 06:20 AM
eatmeallup
Ambulance Chaser
 
Posts: n/a
Don't look at me!!

I'm too busy taking care of the testosteron bags Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge He wants the bills paid, HE pays them and he'd BETTER give me money tomorrow or I'll kick his scrawny ass Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge
post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-24-2003, 09:59 AM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 15,789
     
I have started taking care of our finances because DH is the king of nickle and diming Click here to enlarge

Before I had all the money, I explained to DH that while we do the bulk of our activities as a family, and I don't often leave the house that having at least 20 bucks in my pocket at all times was simply a smart thing to do. What if I ran out of diapers before he got home, what if I had to get one of the kids to a doctor pronto, what if having a root canal without freezing seemed more appealing then cooking dinner, just one of those things that doesn't seem to occur to the person who does have access to the cash at all times. Maybe a little insight into the possible drawbacks and dangers of being cashless would be a good thing. As for casual spending money, HA, I feel guilty when I buy a fancy shampoo. The joys of spending so many years poor Click here to enlarge If you honestly can afford for you to have spending money and you think he will give you a hard time then you need to first kick his ass and second tell him that you are the domestic goddess of his dreams and if you want some doG damn fuzzy peach bubble bath you better be getting it Click here to enlarge
mouthySCUM is offline  
post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-24-2003, 10:35 AM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,750
 
Actually no. We live from paycheck to paycheck and the kids and bills come first. If there is extra money then we spend it on us. Now if it is something I need like panty hoses or makeup then we splurge.
beachbum is offline  
post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-26-2003, 11:42 AM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 718
 
Dh does all the bills, I have a debit card I use freely.. I would be horrified if Dh gave me an allowence or put me on a budget Click here to enlarge

May I have a Princess Icon please Click here to enlarge
Dairy Queen is offline  
post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-26-2003, 10:50 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: the lawn
Posts: 6,657
    
I don't think I could stand not running the checkbook. *shudder*
Lasagna is offline  
post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-27-2003, 04:20 PM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 828
 
I'm in charge of finances around here, but if I weren't, I would think that this is indeed a fair arrangement:
Quote:
Dh does all the bills, I have a debit card I use freely.. I would be horrified if Dh gave me an allowence or put me on a budget
Busty McBust is offline  
post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-27-2003, 09:42 PM
Betty
Ambulance Chaser
 
Posts: n/a
I'm in charge of the finances in our house. We both take out money as we need it, the only problem we have is dh forgetting to give me his ATM receipts. I just make a point of asking for them once a week, and we're fine.
I would feel weird to get an "allowance" from my husband.
post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-28-2003, 01:17 AM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 696
 
No. I just have the debit card, and use it to get cash or whatever I need. I do however make dh crazy by not giving him receipts. I usually have a good idea of our money situation for the week/month and try to take that into account.
trtlmomma is offline  
post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-28-2003, 03:30 AM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 751
 
Nope, I'm the money mafia around here.Click here to enlarge
We have a bit of a rule where we discuss any purchases over $50 with each other first though.
Being that money is reasonably tight around here we have to have some sort of a line that doesn't get crossed over.
Though I'm the sort of person that tends to go without so that SO and the kids don't, but if I want something bad enough, SO will never deny me.Click here to enlarge
It's been said by him before, that if the mommy isn't happy, then daddy is sure as shit isn't happy and if daddy isn't happy then the kids get lumped on as well.Click here to enlarge
Dr Phil is offline  
post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-28-2003, 09:47 AM
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 4,362
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Lasagna
I don't think I could stand not running the checkbook. *shudder*
for me it is a matter of necessity - I HAVE to run it for the simple fact of the matter that if anything were ever to happen to dh I MUST know how to do it or I'll be in big trouble. I used to just ask dh to do it until I realized how completely screwed I'd be if I was ever on my own for any reason. Now I do it so that I have at least a bit of a sense of security.
Burly is offline  
post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-28-2003, 10:55 AM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 668
 
Quote:
Originally posted by cataclysm
The only reason dh handles paying the bills is because I hate doing it, so it's not a control issue. I have an ATM card & a credit card I can use freely. (Keeping in consideration what we have available in our account & how much we can afford on the cc, of course!).
This is pretty much out situation, too. Every now and then I get weirded out by 1. Not bringing home any bacon, but still spending it, occasionally on completely frivalous (sp?) things and 2. The dynamic of my male partner being 'in control' of the money. But, the fact is that he enjoys it and I hate it, and he is way better at it than I am. And, he isn't really in control of it, he's just doing the work of keeping everything organized. We discuss big purchases or when either of us seems to be buying a lot of goofy crap.
Ima Freak is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sybermoms Parenting Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself. Do NOT use an AOL email address.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome