How far do you go to get a tween to talk?? - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-17-2003, 09:22 PM Thread Starter
Wayward Wombat
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Unhappy How far do you go to get a tween to talk??

I am beside myself tonight. My 12 y.o. ds had his first night of basketball practice. I stayed for the whole thing and it seemed to go fine. Afterwards he was very distant and would not answer my questions (i.e. Did you have fun? Do you like your team? etc.) He was VERY quiet and that is not like him at all. Usually you can't get him to shut up....unless something is wrong. Click here to enlarge

I asked him again when we got home if everything was okay and he got aggravated with me and said "I said YES! Geez!!" He just seemed sad or something...I don't know.

Do I bring it up again tomorrow when he's in a better mood? Maybe he was just tired...it was a very late practice (9-10 pm). I don't want to make him feel like I'm grilling him, but if something happened, I'd like to talk it out with him. UGH!! This is so hard and he's not even a teenager yet. Click here to enlarge

It's a boy! Anthony Michael, born at 1:24 pm on March 7, 2012! 7lb 14 oz, 20" long

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-17-2003, 10:28 PM
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Let him try to work it out on his own. He's reaching that age. Be there if he needs the help, but don't push it.

Puberty just sucks.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-18-2003, 05:37 AM
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If you were there for the entire practice I'd just let it go. Nine o'clock is very late for a practice. Sometimes karate runs that late and my eleven year old is always beat afterwards.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-18-2003, 11:01 AM
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I agree with calumet and snarky. And FWIW I found that age 12 was just as - if not more - emotional than the teen years. He was probably tired and maybe something didn't go the way he wanted. It's hard to tell but you are there for him and I'm sure he knows that.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-19-2003, 08:56 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks ladies. Click here to enlarge He told me yesterday (on his own) that he didn't really like the position his coach put him in and that one of the boys was a "ball hog". I explained to him that it was only the first practice and I'm sure he'll get a chance to play other positions. He wanted to be center, but they picked the tallest kid to play center which makes sense. But this is typical I think - when he plays baseball he always wants to either pitch or play first base. He gets so bummed if they put him in the outfield.

Thanks!

It's a boy! Anthony Michael, born at 1:24 pm on March 7, 2012! 7lb 14 oz, 20" long

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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-19-2003, 12:54 PM
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I just tell my 10 yo DD to let me know when she wants to talk. We even made up a rule that I ask her three times if she's okay, wants to talk etc. If, after the thrid time she's still reluctant, I leave her alone until she's ready to come to me. Good luckClick here to enlarge

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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-22-2003, 04:05 AM
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Oh Lord, basketball again already.

DD played last year for her school and we had some evenings like this and I honestly think the biggest reason was because she was tired. It also didn't help that her best friend's dad is the coach and he, of course, played favorites to his daughter. Click here to enlarge
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