Help me. Sweet JOseph of Arimathea, I think I am going to lose it.

Let me give you a little background on DD's potty habits:

20 months -- starts peeing in the potty
26 months -- we rock her world with twins, she continues to pee and poop in the potty, removing her diaper to do so. She is pretty good about it.
36ish months -- She's doing great with the potty. She wears panties increasingly over the next few months. Everything is fucking super.
NOW -- 43 months -- She fucking pees her pants 8-10 times/day. She doesn't even care when she does it -- she sits in her wet clothes and continues playing, etc., until I discover that she is soaking wet. She poops in her diaper (she still has to sleep in one at night and will shit in it first thing in the morning or after we put her to bed at night, despite us asking if she needs to poop and her assuring us she doesn't.)

What the hell do I need to do? I have no idea what brought about this total backslide. I do not want to make this a big negative ordeal but I am incredibly frustrated and I know she can tell.

Please help me. Give me any insight or advice or anything.

Oh -- she doesn't care about incentives of any kind (stickers, big-girl activities like school or movies, Skittles) -- she'll say, "I will just have no sticker today, okay Mommy?" She doesnt' care about being around her friends who ARE potty trained. We try to give her HUGE positive attention when she does go on the potty, so I'm not sure that it's an attention-getting thing.

set a timer and make her use the toilet when it goes off? whether she wants to or not? I am going to assume she getting involved with her play and holds it too long. mine STILLLLLL do that sometimes at 6 1/2.
and skip psychoanalyzing.
she peeing her bed at night? she's pooping in the toilet? good luck

I agree with the timer.

My first thought was the timer, too, Fern.

Does she go to preschool, or want to? Most don't take kids unless they are fully potty trained. Maybe that would be another incentive for her.

Or...

Is it possible she is having sensory issues? Maybe you should have her evaluated (I have no clue how, I would call the pediatrician to discuss first) if it's concerning you.

OH, one more thing, her being a girl... is it possible she has a bladder infection?
8-10 x a day is a lot.
I read that people (might just be adults though I can't remember) pee about 6x a day, anymore than that and a UTI might be suspected.
is she having any discomfort? I had no idea how a UTI might manifest in a child, though.

ps. I've had a painless bladder infection myself. only syptom was frequency... so maybe have her checked out, even if she says she feels ok? a pee test would be all she'd need, is my thinking..

That's a good idea -- I'll take her to the ped to rule out any physical cause.

She is still in diapers at night because she pees SOOOO much overnight.

She *will* do both poop and pee on the potty. But then sometimes she just doesn't.

I have done the timer but because of how much she pees (I feel like she has always peed a ton) I have to set it for every 30 minutes. She ALWAYS fights me on it and says she doesn't have to go, but then when I force her onto the toilet she pisses like a racehorse. Every 30 minutes! If I miss one 30 minute pee time she pees her pants. Since I have to physically carry her into the bathroom, I have a hard time not missing a session because sometimes the twins are somewhere that I'm not comfortable leaving them, and logisitcally it is just hard to herd three kids somewhere none of them want to go every 30 minutes.

Occasionally she will go sit on the potty when we insist, call to us that nothing came out, and she'll pee her pants 5-10 minutes later, as well.

Take her to the pedi.
Ds got a full urological test when we were so fed up of his wet nights, a yr ago-and he still pees the bed, so his urinary system isn't still matured (he's 5 and has full control by day)

We have almost the same situation going on over here.

Long story short: DD was day trained completely for 4 months, then started having accidents, but not huge accidents, more like just wetting her panties accidents. We chock it up to control issues and typical regression, except that now it's been going on for 4 months. She never asks to go. Some days she has 4 accidents, some days none. She never asks to go anymore, so we drag here into the bathroom every 2 hours, and they do this at preschool as well.

What does dd say? Mine says "it just trickles out." So we ruled out a urinary tract infection, my pedi referred us to a pediatric urologist who we saw about a month ago. She was pretty sure it was not psychological and that it's probably that her bladder is not functioning correctly (I forget all the technical terms), she's getting tested on Thursday for it (it's non-invasive) and will most likely need medicine for a month to correct it. This urologist also said it's very common and usually happens during the whole potty trianing phase, which made me feel better.

I will keep you posted after Thursday.

Holly, thank you!!! Athena will say, "It's just drips!"

I am really interested to hear with your dr. says. That sounds so much like us. She'll have awesome days and was having awesome weeks, even, and then she'll have days/weeks when she pees herself 9/10 times she goes.

Fern--we had the test on Thursday. It was kinda stressful, although non-invasive. Nacala had to drink a lot of water and keep it in there until her bladder was full, which was definitely interesting given she's having trouble keeping it in and that's why she's getting the fucking test in the first place.

Then they have her pee on this special potty where they can watch her bladder muscles; that's the whole point of the test to see how the strength of her bladder muscles and if they're working correctly.

We spoke with the pediatric urologist the next day and she said everything looked normal. I was relieved to tell you the truth even though part of me wanted the explanation to be physical. But everyone (the doctor, technician, etc.) told me this happens with a lot of children directly following potty training. She said that since this has been going on for four months, she would put dd on a very low dosage of the medicine. She's been on it 2 days and no accidents, so maybe it's doing something.

She had also told us to put a high stool under her feet while she pees so her muscles could be totally relaxed. That has helped too. Oy!

I think it's worth taking Athena to a urologist and seeing what they say. Good luck, and keep me posted.