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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 01:39 AM Thread Starter
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How to explain divorce?

How do I explain to my kids that my husband and I are getting a divorce? I have read articles on Explaining Divorce to your Kids but it's somehow not enough. Need some suggestions and advice.
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 04:05 PM
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What are their ages?
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-07-2007, 12:01 AM
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It looks like sweetmom is MIA, but I'll post this anyway. Oprah just did a show on this topic, so you can find some good info here:
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-29-2007, 09:30 AM
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I told mine that Mommie and Daddy just couldn't live together any more so we were going to live in different houses but they could stay with either one of us anytime they wanted. I also emphasized that this wasn't their fault and we both love them very much. My ex husband was very verbally abusive though so I think they were happy to live without the yelling.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-20-2007, 02:45 PM
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Jenilouise said a very important point... It is important that they do not feel it is their fault. After that, my reccomendation would be to try to say good things about your husband to your kids (although this is not always possible)...
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-21-2007, 10:13 AM
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thats a tough one. Oh i love oprah, she always covers the important stuff. If they are really young just try to expalin it the best you can. but i def wouldnt talk poorly about your ex husband or wife. that can do a number on the kids
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-29-2007, 07:34 PM
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I highly recommend the book Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastle's Way (Neuman). It is truly an invaluable resource, and will help you to do everything in ways that are easiest and healthiest for the kids and for you two.

In addition, there are some good kids' books out there about divorce that you might want to read to the kids. I also really focused on talking to mine about how all families are different, identified ways in which they are different, talked about how some change. We read books about families with one parent, grandparents, disabilities, different colors, all kinds of diversity. We talked about how sometimes families can even change from one kind of family to another, but that one thing never changes—the parents always, always, always love their kids. It really helped to lay a good groundwork of understanding and help them feel less alone.

Some books for kids about divorce... (Dinosaurs, Koko, and Mama and Daddy Bear were the best that I've read, but I haven't read all listed):

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear (Lasnky)
Dinosaurs Divorce (Brown)
Two Homes (Masurel)
I Don't Want to Talk About It (Ransom)
Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story For Little Kids About Divorce (Levins)
Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce (Spelman)
My Family's Changing (Thomas)
What Can I Do?: A Book for Children of Divorce (Lowry)
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