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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-01-2012, 10:47 AM Thread Starter
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Approaches to Bedwetting?

As long as I've been with my husband, my stepdaughter has had a bedwetting problem. She is going to be 10 this month.

I know that she's embarrassed about it. We don't know what to do though. We limit her liquids in the evening, wake her up at night to go potty, and wash a lot of bedding. She doesn't do it every night, but it happens about 1 out of 3 nights. Also, this isn't a little tinkle we're talking about. Her pjs and the sheets are soaked through.

She's been to a doctor before, and he said she was just a heavy sleeper. My husband's brother apparently had a similar issue into his teenage years. I have no idea if that kind of thing is genetic. I just feel bad that we can't help her. She's even come home from sleepovers before crying, out of embarrassment.

Sometimes she comes to our house wearing diapers, so I guess her mom is out of solutions as well. Is there anything else we can try?
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-02-2012, 09:44 AM
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1) Stop referring to the Goodnights/Underjams or what ever brand she's using as diapers. That's humiliating to an older kid.
2) There is medication on the market that helps some kids
3) There are alarms on the market you can try as well, but according to our pediatrician for really heavy sleepers they might not help as much as meds.

My 8.5 year old still wear Underjams. It's not something she can control, she's a deep sleeper and it is what it is. Like you we limit liquids, wake her etc. She's begun to ask to be out of them, so we're going to talk with the ped at our next visit about the meds and give them a try.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-02-2012, 10:21 AM
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Add this to bleedsink's list:
4. Stop putting her to bed or sending her on sleepovers without any protection from soaked sheets and humiliation. Get her some underjams or goodnights.

The end of bedwetting is a physical development, the same as reaching certain heights, losing baby teeth, and puberty. Your stepdaughter has the same amount of control over bedwetting as she does over the others.

P.S. Googling "bedwetting genetic" will tell you more or less instantaneously that it is genetic. As would your pediatrician, had you asked him.

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-02-2012, 12:06 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the suggestions.

I have never referred to them as 'diapers' to her. In fact, I myself have never discussed the issue with her. I discuss it with her father. I have never purchased underjams, so I wasn't sure what to call them, but thank you for letting me know. We will look into purchasing some, though I wonder if wearing those isn't more upsetting to her? I know she doesn't like it when her brother talks about them, and it seems to make her uncomfortable if we notice them.

We have never sent her off to a slumber party, as we live pretty far from most of her friends. We heard this news from her brother (and she was pretty upset that he told us). Around that time is when she started coming over with the underjams. It sounded like a pretty traumatic experience.

Of course she has no control over it. I did know that much. I'm not sure about meds though. I don't feel comfortable putting children on medication unless absolutely necessary. It would not be my call in this case, but I'm pretty sure my husband and her mother would agree. I've never been to their pediatrician, but yea, Google has all answers.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-02-2012, 01:23 PM
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It's definitely a YMMV thing, but from a prior conversation with our ped, he definitely weighs social impact of the wetting as a factor that would tilt him toward prescribing for a child. We pretty much left it that for my daughter we'd talk about the meds again at age 10 or earlier if she asked or it started to impact her socially because of sleepovers or things like girl scout overnights.

And please ask your husband to talk to your stepson about respecting his sister's privacy in regards to this (if he hasn't already). I don't know how old he is but - if he's doing it to tease her then that has to end. If he's younger and just sort of innocently commenting on it he needs to know that there are certain things which are up to his sister whether or not she wants to discuss them with you.
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