How can I help my shy child? - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-14-2015, 04:38 AM Thread Starter
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How can I help my shy child?

Hi. I need some advise. My 11 yr old daughter is a bit shy. She doesn't like hanging around with loud girls and gravitates to quiet or girls that she meets at school or church. She goes to a Chrisitian school so this is easy for her. Anyway, she has three "friends" from school. She is always the one initiating a get together, text, etc. One friend she calls her best friend only comes over and hangs out when my daughter initiates it. They have done sleep overs, movies, pizza, etc all at my expense. The one time the mother of the child invited her to a quick birthday and bowling ended up being a 15 min cake thing and daughter was returned home. Supposedly the bowling alley was closed and they were going to schedule another bowling date, but it never happened. I think the mother not have funds to do a lot because she never sends the child with any money. But why does this child never initiate? Or the others? They will hang out with her if she initiates it, so it appears that they like her and like to hang around her but I think it hurts my daughters feelings that she always has to ask first.

Am I making too much flout of this? Should I do anything?
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-12-2016, 10:44 AM
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Start small. "It's less intimidating to meet people one-on-one," says Stanley Turecki, MD, author of The Difficult Child. If that's not possible, suggest she talk to a small group of kids instead. When she's ready, help her find an opening. Say, "It looks like those kids need some new blue chalk. Maybe you could bring your box over." If she hesitates, offer to go with her and help make the introduction.Modeling good social skills helps too, as Michelle Grotz-Rhone, of Beverly Hills, discovered when her family moved. "My 5-year-old, Nina, was always so quiet when I dropped her off at her new school, and I wanted her to be her usual sunny self," she says. But instead of focusing on Nina's shyness, Grotz-Rhone started conversations with Nina's classmates and their parents. Later, she'd compliment the other kids' friendliness to inspire Nina to copy their behavior. For example, she'd say, "It was so thoughtful of them to invite us over" or "I really liked how nice she was."
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-08-2017, 11:57 PM
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Your daughterís main problem is that she is too shy. When a child is shy, other children can try to take advantage of her. You must help out your child to speak to other groups of children also. Motivate her to actively take part in schoolís extra -curricular activities like debate etc. When she becomes bold enough to speak publicly on stage, then she will automatically change. Donít ever try to pinpoint her or scold her in case she has gone wrong somewhere because shy people are very emotional and sensitive.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-17-2017, 08:36 AM
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You can try to enroll her to some engaging activities that will motivate her to socialize. Check out first her interest and find some activities that have relevance to it and the same time will develop her social relationship.
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