Need some parenting help - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
General Parenting Need answers to your questions? Don't know where to go for support? Here's your place, we know all the answers and can help you with the most generic of problems.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 03:35 PM Thread Starter
Wayward Wombat
 
Night Owl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 6,770
 
Need some parenting help

I need some help with CW.

First, I'd like to say that he has had a lot of changes recently. We had a new baby, then we moved, then our dog died and we just lost another dog to parvo.

Now, to the problem. We are working on teaching him things like being quiet when Aimee is asleep, or not sitting on the dog. When he does the things he is not supposed to do, we put him in time out. This is usually in his room. If I think it is nap time, I usually put him in our room. Not that it matters. He refuses to stay.

And when I finally do convince him to stay, he sits back there crying and screaming, "I neeeeed you Mommy!" or "I need my daddy!" or "You hold me!"

This is breaking my heart. I need to be able to give consequences for behaviour that means something. But I can't stand to have him back there bawling his eyes out and looking scared. Click here to enlarge.

Any ideas on what else I could do?

I've thought about taking a toy away for a few minutes. But that would just get me another tantrum and then he go get one of his other bazillion toys. wugh.


Ask three experts your product photography, labeling and shipping questions...
Find free resources for starting and growing your home business

Night Owl is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 03:48 PM
Wayward Wombat
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
todolist's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Leather lips
Posts: 21,362
           
I have no ideas. My ds does the same thing.
todolist is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 04:12 PM Thread Starter
Wayward Wombat
 
Night Owl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 6,770
 
Well, it's good to know my son isn't the only one doing it. Click here to enlarge


Ask three experts your product photography, labeling and shipping questions...
Find free resources for starting and growing your home business

Night Owl is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 04:20 PM
The noblest of savages
 
Pudin's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Polishing my pork pessary
Posts: 39,318
Blog Entries: 2
           
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp


ďI donít know why we donít create some sort of system where we could train [Syrian refugees] to then go back to their own country and then fight for that country. Doesnít somebody have to stay in the Middle East and make the Middle East a better place to live?Ē

Bill Maher
Pudin is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 06:52 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
maelstrom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 14,582
Blog Entries: 31
           
I don't like time outs as punishment. I plan on using time outs as a calm them down method, hug them until they are calm rather than isolate them but my guy is only 19 months old so take my advice with a grain of salt. I like positive discipline. Talk to him when he is behaving and tell him how much you like that behaviour. Is 3 too young to come up with his own punishment? Get his input into it. btw, I love Barbara Coloroso, Kids are worth it for its discipline style. Very practical advice.
maelstrom is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-20-2003, 06:57 AM
Jovi
Ambulance Chaser
 
Posts: n/a
I agree with mattsmom
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-20-2003, 12:23 PM Thread Starter
Wayward Wombat
 
Night Owl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 6,770
 
Only trouble is, time out doesn't always calm them down. Sometimes just the mention of it is enough to cause a tantrum. Click here to enlarge

As for positive discipline, we do that also. When he does what he is supposed to do we praise him and tell him what a big boy he is.

I also make special time to hold him and just be with him. I have crayons and other arts and crafts that he can do while I'm on the computer and we have books that I read to him.

But sometimes he still pretends to be a LOUD train when Aimee is asleep, or decides that it is time to ride the dog like a horse. Click here to enlarge And when I tell him to stop, he often just keeps right on going as if I had said nothing.


Ask three experts your product photography, labeling and shipping questions...
Find free resources for starting and growing your home business

Night Owl is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-20-2003, 12:27 PM
Ambulance Chaser
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,750
 
Night Owl,
Are you sure you are not at my house? Click here to enlarge This sounds just like my 2 yr old. My two youngest are 15 months apart so she had a hard time understanding that the baby needed attention also. When I was nursing I would sit her up there with me and let her drink her milk, etc. During sleep time I would have them do a quiet activity like looking at books, coloring, playing computer games, etc. I am not sure how old your little one but it will work out. Don't worry!
beachbum is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-20-2003, 02:43 PM
Dea
Ambulance Chaser
 
Posts: n/a
It sounds like he is acting out because he is not getting enough attention. Negative attention is still a form of attention and when you are timing him out it just makes the behavior worse I would imagine.

I would try another approach of pulling him to you and talking about why the behavior he is doing is wrong and have a talk about it. Then I would make him tell you why it was wrong and apologize. Then give him a hug.

I could be talking out of my ass here, but it worked with all the kids I ever took care of and it worked for my Mom.

Good luck.
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sybermoms Parenting Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself. Do NOT use an AOL email address.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome