wwyd?

I was suspended at work few weeks back for something really bogus. I returned to work and was having anxiety attacks that made it nearly impossible for me to even get through the night. Added to the fact that I had been having headaches at work for months (and really they were only at work).

I went to see my family practioner. (He's been my doctor since birth, with the exception of the years I lived in Rhode Island). I thought he might prescribe something (for the headaches or anxiety). He did (ativan) but he also pulled me from work. I've been out two full weeks and he has pulled me for at least one more (I see him again next week).

My husband doesn't want me to go back, he's of the opinion that I should stay out to use up my PTO and then submit my resignation. He thinks there's enough evidence of a hostile environment that I should be able to get unemployment. (to give an example, I filed a complaint of violation of privacy with my personnel record and hostile environment with HR and I was told by the head of corporate HR that "we've spent too much time in Middletown, corporate has chosen who they want to lead the operation and everyone will have to adjust to the changes").

Since our new publisher came on board in February, there have been at least 4 complaints (besides mine) to HR and I'm the fourth person since May to go out for stress.

Being unemployed frightens the crap out of me. I've worked since the summer I turned 17. During college I held down two jobs and went to school full time.

But I sure as hell like myself more than I did a few weeks ago. I'm enjoying my kids more since I'm not stressed all to sh!t. My husband says it's nice to have me joking around and being playful with him and the kids again.

I've spent my time off searching for a new job, but leaving the paper means for all intents and purposes I'm out of the newspaper business so it's kind of sad -- but at least my skills are transferable to PR, Marketing, anyone who needs someone who can string words together I have 12 resumes out already. DH spends his lunchtimes searching for things I might like and I put the packages together.

I know it's better to find a job while you still have one, but would you really consider going back to someplace soo toxic that you have to be on anxiety meds to handle it?

If we could do ok long-term on one income alone AND had enough savings in place to still be alright for a few months if something happened to that one income AND decent insurance, I would quit that shit. If things would be extremely tight, insurance would be terrible, or there was a good chance of DH's company going under sometime soon (though there's never a guarantee nowadays that it won't anyway), then I'd probably go back but spend every single day sending out resumes.

If you did quit, would you be saving money in childcare?

Good luck! I hope you're able to get out of there soon.

Insurance is a huge deal, but if your DH can carry your whole family I think I'd be out of there. You have a lot of marketable skills, and could even freelance. At least around here, freelancers are in demand because they don't get benefits or office space and are thus a cost-saver. I just don't think it could be good for your mental health to be there. And if you can get unemployment, that would be great, too.

My secretary up and quit her job when the stress got so bad from her horrible boss that she just couldn't function. She took a pay cut, but she is so much happier and says it is totally worth it.

Insurance is through dh's work and yes it's decent. Hopefully that won't change in January.

We don't have much in savings. That all went about 6 years ago - and it currently stands about 46 inches tall, with light brown hair and blue eyes. She is worth every penny we've had to pay for those medical bills. If we had to we'd close my 401(K) - not ideal but it would pay the mortgage for 6 months.

Yes, we'd pull the kids from daycare. We've already paid our registration fee for the year, so even if I pull them we can place them back if I find something later.

If I didn't qualify for unemployment I'd be applying at Stop & Shop, Target, or anywhere else that might use overnight stock clerks, so we didn't need daycare. I should also be able to scrape together some freelance work from other papers or mags, it just won't be consistant paychecks.

First of all, listen to what your body is telling you. When we were looking to move up here, I was so desperate to find a job, I started a training program to be a car salesman. The ad made it sound different, but it was a stereotypical sales position, which I'm totally not suited for. I was trying to be positive and stick with the program, but every night I was having miserable headaches and feeling nauseous. After two nights, DH told me it wasn't the right job and that I shouldn't feel that I had to do it. Right after I called the woman to cancel, my headache disappeared. It sounds like your workplace is horribly toxic, and if it's anything like my last job, you might not be having the headaches at home, but you're probably still feeling all the stress and anxiety. Since it sounds like you have some good plans for how to handle the finances of leaving this job, it sounds like leaving is the best plan for you.

Secondly, I totally understand not wanting to be on unemployment. Until 2001, I'd not only always been steadily employed, but usually had at least 2 jobs going on. It felt crushing to have to go apply for benefits. But outside of your own pride, it's really not a huge deal. You've paid in to the system for years, so it's not like you're taking something for nothing.

Once I got past my initial shock at being out of work, I really enjoyed the time I had with DS. It was so nice to have some at home time with him!

I don't have any other great advice. I think it's been said. Take care of you.

I agree with Jeana - trust your instincts. I thought long and hard about my decision to "retire" after Susie was born and I have not regretted it at all.