UUUUGHHHH.... Passive Agressive Co Worker - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-30-2010, 06:34 PM Thread Starter
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mad1 UUUUGHHHH.... Passive Agressive Co Worker

Please bear with me, this is going to be long.

I am currently working towards a supervisor position at work. I have never hidden the fact I want to move up in the company and have proven myself. I do not walk on anyones back nor do I gossip my way up. I have worked my ass off and honestly deserve the position.
I have a co worker who I will call Karen.When and if I get the new position, I wold be her supervisor. We are both currently the same position in the area in which we work.
She is a fruitcake. Talks about mystics having the ability to see through their palms, feeling energy etc.. and to boot, she is very self absorbed and paranoid.
Every freaking time 2 people are speaking she is just sure they are talking about her. She has even asked one of the bosses" What were you just talking about." The boss put her in her place and told her it was none of her business.She just does not get it.
A few weeks ago,I passed on some info ( which is common and expected practice in the area where I work) from our supervisor. Later that day. I was talking to Karen and she accused me of 'speaking for the boss." I was taken aback and asked her to give me an example. She used the example from earlier that day. I responded."Karen, I was sharing info from our superior as I was directed to do. and further more, you told me last week that you felt out of the loop so I made a point of including you in the newest info today. I think you are reading too much into this."
I spoke to our superior the next am and she told me all was fine and I was doing what was expected and all is well.

Karen has admitted to me, co workers and superiors that she does not feel that she is good at her job.She asked to be in the training class I recently instructed. She was told no as she had been trained last year and as a supervisor she should already know her job.She is forever asking the same questions, just really not getting it. Frustrating at best, pissing everyone off at the worst.


Today, I was "incharge" of the area. Nothing super exciting, just giving jobs out and making sure they were done and putting out any fires that may come along.
When she came in she says loud enough for everyone in the area to hear"" So, Kelly ( our supervisor) put you in charge today huh?""Click here to enlargeClick here to enlarge
Completely embarrased me and pissed me off. I responded " yes, she did and this is what she wants you to do today."

She is completely passive agressive. She is threatened by me and the fact I am a better employee than she is and I want a promotion. I just do not know how to deal with her. I know she is talking shit behind my back. I know she is interfering in conversations I am having attempting to make me look like I dont know what I am doing and foolish. I know that she is worried about her job, as she should be cause she sucks at it and our superior is fed up.
What I dont know, is how to deal with her. How to respond, how to get her to stop the passive agressive bullshit and knock it off.Click here to enlarge

I just dont do the drama and backstabbing shit... help!!


Thanks for reading this long drawn out post.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-30-2010, 06:59 PM
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Other than document document document I don't have much advice.

I'm sure others will come along and have some more encouraging words and useful advice. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. The up side is that this will help you in the future. Fruitcakes will continue to happen and you will have experience, right? Click here to enlarge
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-30-2010, 07:06 PM
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UUUUGHHHH.... Passive Agressive Co Worker

Pffft. Nobody buys her bullshit. You can't stop her from trying to discredit you. Just control how you react: totally neutral. Not fakey nicy. Not all bothered by the pest. Just neutral. At the worst moments you can act weary, but not pissed or angry.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-30-2010, 07:24 PM Thread Starter
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thanks,keep the advice coming.. I need it
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-03-2010, 09:25 AM
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It sounds as though she's not in any sort of power, in relation to your position, so it sounds more frustrating than damaging, if you kwim. Like you have to deal with her shit and it's irritating and tiresome, but from what you've said your supervisor already gets that Karen is batshit crazy, so it's not truly affecting your own standing in the office or your potential for promotion.

With that in mind, it seems to me like the way you've already responded--calm but clearly stating the authority that you've been given--is the way to proceed. She is hanging herself with the rope she's being given, bc if she's freaking out every time two people are talking, you can guarantee that the supervisor does NOT care for dealing with her and isn't going to want her in a position where the supervisor has to deal with her more. If the supervisor doesn't promote you in the near future, and Karen continues to try undermining you bc you are "on the same level", I might talk to the supervisor about clarifying when people (i.e. you) are temporarily placed in positions of authority over equals (i.e. Karen) in terms of daily tasks/reporting/etc, and what the expectations are when that authority is given out.

At the point when you do get promoted (which it sounds like you are doing an awesome job pursuing!), I might ask the supervisor to help establish what the new standards will be in terms of responsibilities & reporting structures. If Karen actively defies the new process, then you can figure out whether you just want to document, whether you want to put her on notice yourself, or whether you need to escalate the insubordination, either to your supervisor or to HR.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-03-2010, 04:54 PM
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I find that PA people need to be directly confronted. You can't beat around the bush with them. Next time she makes a PA comment that pisses you off you need to call her out on it. Say "Look, I'm trying to help YOU out and your little PA comments are really irritating me. If you have nothing nice to say, how about just not saying it at all". I bet you 100 bucks she shuts her trap.Click here to enlarge
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 07:40 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the tips.

I think my plan is to confront her bullshit right up front, in an utmost professional manner.

I am tired of her making me tired, I am in control of how I deal with her,how I respond and I am going to do what is best for me. And give her that rope to hang herself with.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 11:49 PM
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I agree with Ilene. I deal with a devious, passive-aggressive person at work and once I firmly, but politely, spoke with her it just stopped. I'm sure it hasn't stopped for good because that is the way she is but now I feel more confident in confronting her.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-01-2020, 08:46 AM
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thanks a bit sad tho eyelash extensions syracuse
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