What do you think is the hardest - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-10-2003, 07:14 AM Thread Starter
Ambulance Chaser
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What do you think is the hardest

thing about having multiples?

Sometimes I feel guilty, like if one is more demanding of me than the other I don't want her to feel left out. I spend lots of evenings alone with them, as dh works third, so if one needs more attention I am constantly worried about the other one. It is almost exausting sometimes because I am always going out of my way to make them both feel "special" all the time.

Also, I think that bath time was another of my harder times. I would bathe them both in the kitchen sink at the same time for the logest time (until they couldn't fit) because I had such a hard time bathing them in the tub.
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-10-2003, 03:36 PM
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I'm going to say sharing a birthday. So far they like it, but I'm fairly sure there will come a time when that will get old for them.

Also, people not being able to tell them apart.

When they were babies it was more both of them wanting things, or needing things/us at the same time.

Finding alone time is tough here too, even more so now that we've had the boys, but we work around our schedules, and get creative.

For bath time, I also did the double kitchen sink Click here to enlarge Then we moved to bath seats in the big tub-that worked really well for quite awhile, except when they would decide it's really fun to stand up in them hehe.

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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-10-2003, 05:26 PM
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Sleep. Nobody warned us about sleep. The kids are 16 months now, and a full night's sleep is just a dream.

Past that, nothing much. They have been a blast.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-10-2003, 05:46 PM
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The hardest is trying to get them in the vehicle at the same time. Having to watch one while you put the other one in. I usually don't have to do that, I make dh help. But there have been a couple of times I've had to do it by myself.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-11-2003, 09:26 PM
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Giving them both plenty of attention. Ellie tends to be "my" baby and Emma is dh's. But I sorta feel guilty because I wonder if Emma will notice that Ellie gets more attention from me. Of course, she gets more attention from dh, so I hope it evens out.

Just getting out of the house. Some of the moms in my multiples group seem to think I'm a nut job because I rarely (never) go anywhere with just the three of us. But honest to God, there's nothing I need from WalMart so bad it can't wait until dh gets home!

All the attention they get in public can be pretty annoying at times. Lots of times, it's fun, but when it's not, it's really not.

Having to relax my parenting standards. They cry way more than I ever thought I would let them. But, dang it, mom has to pee and eat and change the other one's diaper, etc. With two, you can't just put them in the sling and go (at least I haven't figured out how), so sometimes they just have to wait.

So far, that's about it!
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-11-2003, 10:03 PM
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Oh Hoochie, I'd forgotten about getting them into the car. Click here to enlarge Now that they are a little older, that is much easier, what a challenge before.

I took the girls with me two run errands tonight, and we got so much attention, lately I've had either just one, or 3 or all 4 of my kids, so we've been missing out on that Oh Look It's Twins thing, boy did we get it tonight.

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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-18-2003, 02:21 AM
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They cry way more than I ever thought I would let them.
I can relate to that comment. I feel so badly when I read about other moms who post that they could never listen to their children cry and how it breaks their hearts. My kids tend to cry often on top of being twins and having to share or wait to be held. I co-sleep and nurse and SAHM. The kids couldn't get more of me if they tried. They can wake up with the boob in their mouth and be crying, it's just their nature sometimes. They want what they want when they want it, and are frustrated way too often.

I am so used to listening to crying and distinguishing frustrated from painful cries and timing my response accordingly. They have lots of signs for animals, but nothing useful like thirsty or tired. I don't know what I was thinking. It's just loud at my house. Hopefully when they get more words it'll quiet down. I can relate to their frustration though, I'm the same way, so at least we understand eachother.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-22-2003, 05:21 PM
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Now it is balancing out my attention and time with each of them. I am so conscious of being 'fair' that it stresses me out sometimes! I wish I had a DH to make it a little more balanced around here, sometimes I feel ganged up on! Click here to enlarge
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-22-2003, 06:20 PM
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I am always very conscious of being fair as well, so that has to be even more so doing it on your own.

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2003, 09:04 AM
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I think carrying them both in their carseat/carriers at the same time is REALLY hard!!! Click here to enlarge
post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-27-2003, 10:54 PM
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The carriers were the hardest thing when they were babies, but now it is eating in a resturant. We have the hardest time ordering. They are trying to be independent so we usually let them tell us what they want. It is always a fight. They get want to switch "after" the food comes out. Sometimes I tell dh to forget it and we just eat at home.

Click here to enlarge

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