Weaning a big old toddler - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 07:00 AM Thread Starter
Wayward Wombat
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Weaning a big old toddler

I really want to wean Deirdre soon. She's 20 months, and I was aiming for 2 years. I don't see her tapering off or working with me to wean in the next 4 months, though. I want to do a potty bootcamp soon--she & Linus are so, so, ready, and so am I--and I feel like potty bootcamp + boob bootcamp are too much to do in a short time.

Plus, she is nowhere close to giving up ANY of her nursing. She nurses all day and off and on at night. There are days she barely eats solid foods because she nurses so much.

And I'm frankly starting to really dislike it. I don't dislike every feeding, and I'm totally dependent on the lazy baby soothing that is titstuffing Click here to enlarge but I'd really like to not have to nurse a giant piggy toddler at night, and I could do without her reaching into my shirt and literally yanking a boob out to help herself. It was funny the first time, now, not so much.

I don't know if I'm looking for real advice, I just need to vent.

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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 07:44 AM
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Sorry. I have no advice. Ds basically weaned himself, but we were down to once a day (in the morning) by that time anyway (around 20 mths).

Maybe you can start to taper by distracting her with something more fun for one or two sessions?
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 08:15 AM
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Is she nightweaned? If not, go for that first. We nightweaned Reilly WAY too late (28 months). It took 3 nights of my sleeping in the basement with a white noise machine and DH walking the 2nd floor with him. during wakings.

Daniel's getting nightweaned at 15-16 months. I'm so done with this lack of sleep thing Click here to enlarge
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 07:13 PM
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B looooooooved her nursing. She would have gone on for forever, but I was getting resentful of nursing her and the baby, so I started weaning her a few months after her second birthday.

(She did, thankfully, night-wean while I was pregnant with G.)

The weaning process took about 6 months. That whole, don't offer don't refuse bit... that didn't work. She asked constantly.

What did work was never sitting down, being out of the house constantly, doing things that interested her, and delaying when she asked ("in a few minutes, sweetie"). Offering cuddles and a sippy helped some. And surrendering to nursing once or twice a day for longer than I had planned. I could handle once or twice a day.
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 07:40 PM
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Julia was 2 1/2, too. Except one day I just said "Honey, there is no more milk in mommy's mimis. You are a big girl and you don't need mimis anymore." and that was it. Click here to enlarge She did say "Can I just hold the mimis?" and so she went to sleep with me leaning over her toddler bed, holding on to my boob, for like a week. Click here to enlarge
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 08:17 PM
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Weaning a big old toddler

Stinky! Click here to enlarge

I'm doing it because she asked but I really do her.
FMT
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2010, 08:38 PM
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Weaning a big old toddler

I left town when I wanted to wean.


I'd rather nurse longer than change didies so if I were you I'd potty train first.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 11:12 AM
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With my 2nd (only one that went over a year) I night weaned her at 2, started giving her a sippy of water in her crib. During the day we would only nurse in the chair in her room, so it was easier to distract her. We got down to morning, before nap and before bed w/in 2 months, then she dropped the pre-nap session easily. The last 2 we kept up more for comfort until she was 3 and then it was time for a big girl bed and getting a room w/her big sis and it was no biggie to wean.

typing one-handed... sorry if there are typos!

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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 11:44 AM Thread Starter
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Deirdre is very hard to put off with a sippy or a hug. She really does yank my boobs out and dive on them to latch, unless I restrain her. If my hands are busy, she attacks. Click here to enlarge I need to start something, though, because it's crazymaking.

I wish night weaning were easier. DH's schedule is brutal right now, and he really can't do late night babyrocking for even one come to Jesus week. Which I know is all it would take--I've done 3 nights away from her (a wedding, a trip to Children's Hospital with Linus, and a datenight with DH) and she was totally fine all 3 times. Probably the best 3 nights' sleep she's had this year, too. Click here to enlarge

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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 04:27 PM
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I did the nightweaning on my own. She was nursing *so much* at night, even with doing it by myself, it wasn't like that was more miserable than the alternative. I let her nurse every-other-waking, and on the other one, would hold her and rock her, and say the ba ba was sleeping, and offer a sippy, while she yelled at me and clawed at my shirt. She'd eventually allow me to calm her back to sleep. Often she'd only be out for 15 minutes. But, after a couple of nights of just putting her off, or not nursing that every-other-time, she started spacing nursing more than every 45 minutes (Click here to enlarge), and eventually stopped bothering to wake up. I also limited how long she was allowed to nurse when she did at night. But, again, I was like 5 or 6 months into pregnancy, and there really wasn't much milk there, anyway.
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-10-2010, 07:40 PM
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DS is 16 months and we're tapering off. I thing righty has pretty much dried up as he won't even nurse on that side anymore. He's down to one feeding just before bed and that's it - sometimes on the weekend he'll nurse at naptime, too.

I'm kind of over it too. I was hoping to go to 18 mos-2 yrs, somewhere in there, but euuugh. He's not biting but his little sharp teeth graze while he nurses, especially as he relaxes and looses his latch - and I haaaaate it. So once it starts hurting and he's getting sleepy anyway, I pop him off, tell him "milk all gone!" and just rock him for a bit. He doesn't fuss, we snuggle, then I put him in his crib with his fisher price aquarium doodad and off he goes without a peep.

My plan is to keep shortening the time and then stop offering altogether. I've not offered at a few of his naps when I'm home and he didn't seem to notice, he's used to not nursing before naps as my mom watches him all week. But part of me is still torn about giving it up (what with him being my last baby, and winter cold/flu season coming, blah blah, wring hands) so we'll see how long it drags out. But no, I don't enjoy it anymore. I do like it when he falls asleep nursing (rarely anymore) and I can smooch his whole head and huff & snuggle him. Sigh.

Anyway I really didn't add anything in the way of advice there but wanted to chime in that you're not the only one disliking the toddler nursing. Click here to enlarge DD weaned herself @ 14 mos so this whole trying to wean him myself thing is new territory to me.
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-10-2010, 08:53 PM Thread Starter
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I think she's wise to my weaning plans. She has started hugging the boobs and saying "I Love you, Nurse!" Click here to enlarge

Yesterday she also popped off to put a boob on her head, saying "Hat! Hat!" and laughing hysterically. Then she nursed again for a minute, before putting it back on her head and saying "Meow! Cat in Hat!" and laughing some more.

She stopped laughing and was all business again when I tried to seize the moment and sit her up, away from the boobs, though.

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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-10-2010, 09:03 PM
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You know, it's posts like this that make me grateful that youngest self-weaned at 21 months.
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-11-2010, 11:14 AM
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FP, that is so freaking awesome. Click here to enlarge C went through a couple of days recently where I had to fight him to get him to start nursing. (Once he was on, he was good, and would fall asleep.) He would sign and say, "moh... moh ba-ba," but as soon as I had it out, he would sign and say, "all done! all done!" Repeat 15 times. But one of the times, I guess I didn't put it away fast enough, and he tried flopping my breast back into my shirt himself. I could help but laugh, which just encouraged him. Click here to enlarge

His latch/sucking pattern has started grating on me. Literally and literarily. If I weren't too lazy to figure other ways to consistently get him to go to sleep...
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-11-2010, 08:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stinky Feet View Post
Julia was 2 1/2, too. Except one day I just said "Honey, there is no more milk in mommy's mimis. You are a big girl and you don't need mimis anymore." and that was it. Click here to enlarge She did say "Can I just hold the mimis?" and so she went to sleep with me leaning over her toddler bed, holding on to my boob, for like a week. Click here to enlarge
Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge
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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-11-2010, 08:40 PM Thread Starter
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Today she tried to get me to nurse:
a baby doll
Elmo
her foot (which was just being a foot)
and her fingers (which were animated and said things like "nurse, please."
Click here to enlarge She's such a nut.

She does say "nurse, pleeeeeease" most of the time, which is really seriously cute. Click here to enlarge

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