I haven't said anything here and just a little bit on FB so a few of you may already know that my only sibling, my brother Dan, died suddenly overnight at age 46 on the 4th of July. His cause of death is pending which means we still don't know exactly what happened but anyway, what I wanted to talk about is tattoos. Just felt like a little back story might help.

So, I want to get a memorial tattoo. He was not into tattoos and no one in my immediate family has any. So it's a little random. His birthday was 8/18 so I was thinking of a butterfly made out of 818 and I was thinking on my shoulder, probably in color, and fairly small.

Here are my questions. How long should I wait? I'm obviously in grief and shock and depressed at the moment. I do,

I am however pretty certain I want to do it and I've actually wanted a tattoo (a flower vine around my toes) since I was a teenager so it's not completely out of left field. Am I at risk for hasty tattoo regret though? I was actually thinking it would be cool to get it on 8/18 which means I have a few more weeks. My cousin has a good place to take me to so I got that covered. But is it dumb for a sad 44 year old suburbanite sahm who just lost her only brother (and we were real close) to run out and get a tattoo? Is there a mourning/waiting period that I'm unaware of?

Any other thoughts/advice about memorial or first tattoos?

When my half sisters half sister from the other side died a few years back, my sister came back from the funeral in Florida and there was a white Daisy growing in her yard. It had never grown there before and it was her sister that passed favorite flower. She went out the next weekend and got a tat of one. She has never regretted it at all. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Oh, and my sister was 47 when she got it.

On the memorial theme, the same sister was in a bad accident in January of 2014 where everyone should have died and miraculously no one did. Her BFF was driving the car she was in and they have been recovering together all this time. They got matching tats symbolizing their struggle. She is 51 years old.

I am so sorry for your loss. The only advice I have is to research. Make sure you go to a good artist and pick something that you are comfortable having for the rest of your life.

I waited till the anniversary of my sister's death to get my small dragon fly on my ankle. No regrets.

I would do some more research on the artist. Also, make sure that the design is something you like. Will you say that it is something you like if you are a little meh about it because you are polite? Will the artist let you bring a design you have drawn up ahead of time?
I am so sorry for your loss. I think a tattoo is a nice way to remember your brother and your idea is a great way to do it.


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I am sorry you lost your brother. I don't think you will regret getting a tattoo in remembrance of him; it's not like you just turned 18 and got Winnie the Pooh on your butt because you could. Like others said, make sure you're really happy with the artwork.

And of course be prepared for people to say "Oh I love your tattoo, what's it about?" which will be a wonderful way for you to reminisce about your brother, but sometimes you might be caught a little off guard.

I know nothing about tattoos so can offer no advice.
I can offer you my condolences on the loss of your brother. I also lost my only brother some years ago. It was a difficult time. Take care of yourself.

I agree with all of this. M's birthday is on 818 and I never thought about it being a butterfly but I love it. I think you should do it if it feels right to you.

I actually got my first tattoo as memory of my only brother who died. I got it on the one year anniversary of his death. I had also wanted a tattoo for awhile and this finally was something I wanted on my body for the rest of my life. Mine is on the inside of my wrist.

And Im very sorry about your brother!!

I have no advice on the tattoo, but I am so sorry for your lOSS

I did it you guys. And I love it. I'll post pics when I can, the only pic I have so far is kinda bloody. : lol

Do you love it?

Can't wait to see the pic!

You won't regret it. ❤️.

I had never had a tattoo and never planned on getting one until my son died in September 2014. By January I had a tattoo of a camo butterfly with his actual signature on my forearm. I wanted it to be somewhere where I could see it when I wanted to and others could see it too. I thought I was prepared for the questions and remarks by strangers, but sometimes they ask too much, like how he died. That question I feel is personal so I usually just say I can't talk about it right now.

I have no regrets at all, I love the constant reminder (not that I need one.) Nick had quite a few tattoos and I know he would have gotten a huge kick out of me getting one! His first one was a huge rose on his side that said "Mom".ImageUploadedByTapatalk1439600397.901998.jpgImageUploadedByTapatalk1439600428.325996.jpg

Tattoo I love your tattoo

Thanks! Sometimes I'm still shocked about it. Like after wearing long sleeves on a winter day and taking off my shirt to get changed, I look down and do a double take when I see it.

Thanks for sharing your story, Tattoo. I love it.

Here's mine. And me getting it. I dug the kinky looking chair.

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That's beautiful!

Thanks you.

We got the autopsy results yesterday. Evidently he had diabetes and died from diabetic ketoacidosis. He hadn't been to a doctor for years so we didn't know.