Compared to your parents...... - Page 2 - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #21 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-30-2015, 05:59 PM
Wayward Wombat
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My mom wanted to be my friend, so I did whatever I wanted with no guidance at all. My friends were jealous that I had no rules in my house, but that's actually a really scary feeling for a kid.

Since I was a really responsible person, I'm still parenting her, 50 years later.

I make parenting decisions based on what my end goal is. Do I want to keep my kid safe? Teach them independence? Give them a skill they'll need in life? The answer to those questions guide the rules I set.
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post #22 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-30-2015, 06:12 PM
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I think I'm pretty similar. Though, I mean, my parents never yelled at me for my failure to bring my cell phone with me and fucking turn it on so I could return their texts (IS THAT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK?) when stuff I was doing ran 20 minutes overtime.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.
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post #23 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-30-2015, 06:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wren View Post
Funny story some of you may have heard...the other day we were having a little throw down with the teenager about teenager stuff. He said, "I'm sick of this stupid functional family that wants to DO STUFF together and wants me to DO STUFF with them!!" Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge

I talked to his guidance counselor today and she said that's actually a new one for her in her 20+ years working with high school kids. Click here to enlarge
Oh good, glad to see someone else is torturing their kid Click here to enlarge. H keeps asking me why I have to be at everything? Um, I didn't have kids just pass you in the hall, I'm going to be at things you do because I'm interested in you kid!
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I'll buck the trend, I don't think her kids are all that in the cute department. not all kids are cute. they have other attributes that make up for that, but look at tweedle's aiden, that is a cute kid. and your kids mel, those are adorable kids. Her's are average. I wouldn't take a second look passing her on the street.
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post #24 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-30-2015, 07:07 PM Thread Starter
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My mother wanted to know: where, with who, when you would be home. And, you had to wake them up and check in when you got home.

Dad's house: "Have fun"

We are somewhere in between, closer to mom.


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post #25 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-30-2015, 07:51 PM
Wayward Wombat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PunkassPie View Post
Oh good, glad to see someone else is torturing their kid Click here to enlarge. H keeps asking me why I have to be at everything? Um, I didn't have kids just pass you in the hall, I'm going to be at things you do because I'm interested in you kid!

I told Jack I would get to work right away on that heroin addiction I've been toying with so that he can have the dysfunctional childhood he's always yearned for. Click here to enlarge

"Hands that help are far better than lips that pray."

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post #26 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 07:16 AM
Wayward Wombat
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I think about the same as my parents, but I'm definitely the more laid back parent vs my ex, who is more conservative and stricter in general.
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post #27 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 07:24 AM
Wayward Wombat
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My youngest (18) had a party for 20 of her *closest* friends recently, when I was gone for the night. She was supposed to have just one friend sleep over. She got busted by her dad who knew I was gone, came back early from a business trip and did a drive by of the house. Went in, busted up the party, took everyone's keys and stayed over on the couch. He grounded her as well. When I got home she and I had a talk about responsibility and trust etc etc, but I'm less inclined to ground an 18 year old. At one point she was crying and said "I'm so sorry I disappointed you, but I'm not sorry that I had the party because it was fun!? Click here to enlarge Maybe I should re-think this grounding thing even if she is 18. Click here to enlarge

OTOH, her dad agreed to not tell the other parents at her request, but I said fuck that and told them all.
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post #28 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-03-2015, 04:13 PM
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more strict in some ways
more lax in others
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post #29 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-03-2015, 07:03 PM
Wayward Wombat
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My Father was super strict, but he worked a lot, and when he was away my "mother" partied with her boyfriends, so she didn't care what we did. So it was just this inconsistent mess.

I am a little more hardline than g, but we mostly agree to respect their freedom and privacy as long as they have earned it ie.,we don't impose any particular limits unless they cross an invisible line. Click here to enlarge I say invisible because they haven't crossed it yet, they are good, solid kids. *knocks wood feverishly*

Aside from adoring them, my main thing is to be consistent and steady, rather than either permissive or strict.

Like Annie it's a hard nock life...

"Let it be far from my feeble mental capacities to extrapolate on my myriad examples that in my field of business led me to my conclusion that it would be better safe than sorry."
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post #30 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-03-2015, 07:59 PM
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Well. I yell a lot. Which my parents did and I am actively working on that. But as far as strict goes? I am a lot looser than my parents. I plan on sticking that way through them getting older until they ruin my trust. Not to say I won't give them rules. But my parents I feel, didn't trust me BEFORE I had a chance to "ruin" it. KWIM?
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post #31 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-03-2015, 11:57 PM
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At this age, I feel like I'm a little more lax than they were when I was in middle school. In high school, they became completely embroiled in their own problems (impending divorce) and my siblings had already moved out and they were kind of done, so I intend to be more involved than they were when my kids are in high school.



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post #32 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-04-2015, 05:27 AM
Wayward Wombat
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More strict. My mom had me 12 years after her last child. She was totally done with parenting and I could basically do anything.

Please consider being an organ donor and informing your family of your wishes.
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post #33 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-08-2015, 08:05 PM
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I'm not an alcoholic and I don't pal around with a bunch of alcoholics so the boys have a much more stable life than I did.

I keep a closer eye on them. My childhood was more free range and that hurt me a few times.

My Mom was always very affectionate to me and never shut up about how fabulous I was. I model that behaviour because I think it helped me develop confidence and love in my life.
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post #34 of 34 (permalink) Old 11-09-2015, 07:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScubaDiva View Post
/couldn't. We weren't allowed to blow dry our hair or wash it everyday even if it needed it.
@ScubaDiva did they ever explain this inexplicable rule?
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