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post #1 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:03 AM Thread Starter
Wayward Wombat
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Question that is sure to be controversial.

Declan is 17. He went from social but reclusive computer geek (see other thread) to typical teenager over the course of what seems like less than 6 months.

I asked him what his NYE plans are. He said he's unsure and they're looking for a home base?

Would you offer up your house as home base? They will be drinking (NOT supplied by me, obvs).

My gut feeling is NO. But they will end up somewhere and part of me feels like it would feel safer if he was under my roof.
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post #2 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:20 AM
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Are you asking if you should allow underage drinking in your house??
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post #3 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:27 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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Are you asking if you should allow underage drinking in your house??
Yes. I am.
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post #4 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:33 AM Thread Starter
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I should have added a disclaimer that those with teenagers (now or in the past) can bother answering Click here to enlarge

I don't know the right answer. But I know what my answer would have been when my kids were young. Likely similar to the response I'm sure I'll get from express Click here to enlarge
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post #5 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:42 AM
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My son is 18 (still in high school). I would offer up my home as a home base, but not allow drinking. If his friends didn't like that, they can go somewhere else. /shrug At this point, I have to trust my son not to be a complete idiot (drink and drive) but of course it can happen. He's legally an adult and can walk out of here today and there's really nothing I can do to stop him. I'm not going to risk being charged with contributing to the delinquency of minors though
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post #6 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nocturnal emission View Post
I should have added a disclaimer that those with teenagers (now or in the past) can bother answering Click here to enlarge

I don't know the right answer. But I know what my answer would have been when my kids were young. Likely similar to the response I'm sure I'll get from express Click here to enlarge
Oh - so since I don't have a 17 year old I can't answer? (I do have a teenager though)

Anyway - I am just not sure I would risk being caught with underage drinking in my home. Would you be ok with another parent offering up their home to a bunch of teens wanting to drink?
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post #7 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:51 AM
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Also - doesn't he do hockey? Wouldn't he get kicked off the team for drinking?
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post #8 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:57 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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Also - doesn't he do hockey? Wouldn't he get kicked off the team for drinking?
The youngster one plays hockey.

I'm not sure how I'd feel if another parent had them over and they were drinking. As long as the parents aren't supplying it...well. Sorry, I wish he wasn't in to this but I'm not stupid. At some point, I feel common sense prevails over my disappointment that he will be drinking.

I honestly don't know.
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post #9 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:58 AM Thread Starter
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Youngster one?

Younger one.
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post #10 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 07:54 AM
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No. I would not let my teen aged daughter and her friends drink in my home. We are still in the "you are never permitted to drink until you are 21" stage of teen parenting. I don't know if/when we will cross into "we know you drink but we look the other way" stage. I am so much more strict than I thought I would be in that regard. I feel like I was *just* 15 and wasted on Boone's Farm myself.
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post #11 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 08:06 AM Thread Starter
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I've always firmly held that I would aggressively oppose drinking until they turned 19.

Up until about 6 months ago, his socializing was done online through gaming and whatnot (whatnot meaning hacking apparently). I never had to worry about this! Now overnight I'm hit with the reality that he's drank and going out doing gawd knows what kids do these days :tearhair

The first time he said he was "going out" I'm like well, shit, you need a curfew, right?
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post #12 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 08:49 AM
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Sounds to me like you are happy he is out and about socializing and so you are looking the other way with the drinking.

I would still be in the no camp - not in my home. I am not risking being is huge trouble because I thought it would be ok having them all in my house.
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post #13 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 09:25 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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Sounds to me like you are happy he is out and about socializing and so you are looking the other way with the drinking
In a way, yes. Less me looking the other way *because* I'm just happy he's out socializing. More the overnight realization that "ok, he's drinking with his friends. Can I forbid it? Should I? Would he listen". My experience as a teenager hits me like a brick wall (because it LITERALLY feels like yesterday) and I shift gears to just wanting him to be safe.
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post #14 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 10:23 AM
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Huge liability issues if you allow it under your roof and someone is injured, injures/kills someone. You are the host of an underage drinking party. Unless you are planning a sleep over take the keys situation, I would not recommend it.
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post #15 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 10:40 AM Thread Starter
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It would be a sleepover party Click here to enlarge or their parents can pick them up.

I'm leaning towards no anyway. I would be ok with it if I knew the other parents were too but it doesn't seem very practical to get that information accurately.
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post #16 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 11:29 AM
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Hell no I would not allow underage drinking in my home unless you want to spend some time in jail if it goes wrong.
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post #17 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 12:19 PM
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The social host liability would scare me. I don't care if my kid has a drink in my house when I am there (neither has asked for more than a sip so far) but I will not host drinking teens.

STFU Mags
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post #18 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 02:49 PM
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Yeah, the social host laws scare me.

I would be perfectly happy to let my kid host her friends at our house on NYE but not if I knew they intended to drink and would not respect my rules about that. For a non-drinking party I'd be happy to provide them with snacks and pop and a bottle of sparkling apple cider to open at midnight and they could game and watch movies and hang out.

My older daughter is 15, FYI, so not a huge amount younger than your son. Possibly the underage drinking laws in Canada are less strict, though.

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post #19 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 03:14 PM Thread Starter
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The only difference I'm aware of is that we a legal age of 18 or 19, depending on the province.

I also steadfastly do not want to be that house in high school where "the parents" were at. I had a couple of friends that had overly permissive parents. I look back at that now and see how horribly sad that was.

Perhaps I'm thinking too far out of the box because of my own teenage years Click here to enlarge knowing that forbidding kids to not drink doesn't work doesn't mean I need to throw the party.

In the scenario I was thinking about...they're allowed to have a couple of drinks and that's it. That sounds woefully un-fun so I'm sure they wouldn't have much fun here anyway Click here to enlarge
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post #20 of 69 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 05:03 PM
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Don't you live in Ottawa? I think he's going to be quite capable of crossing the river at 18.

Click here to enlarge This is scary because my almost 17yo sounds like your son 6 months ago and I'm not ready for him to change into a "normal" teen.

I'd like to think I'd offer to let them all come over, with the condition that anyone driving hands in their keys at the door.
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