Spinoff from thread on drinking - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-28-2015, 02:13 PM Thread Starter
Wayward Wombat
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Spinoff from thread on drinking

That other thread just reminded me.

Yesterday we were with some of DH's family and his niece's husband was telling us a story about how he once came home at 3:30 am and his father locked him out all night and made him sleep in his car in the cold, telling him that he was still under his roof and to be respectful and come home at a decent hour. I asked how old he was and he said 19.

I'm curious . . . if kids are still living with their parents at 18 or older, what, in your opinion, should the rule be as to what time they come home?

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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-28-2015, 02:50 PM
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18 or older, I guess it's by mutual agreement. Not so much an 18 yr old dictating the rules as opposed to coming to an arrangement everyone agrees with. The underlying assumption being that it doesn't really matter if you're 18 or not, you have to follow the house rules.

Seems like a situation where a 19yr old gets locked out could be avoided with some planning ahead Click here to enlarge
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-28-2015, 03:01 PM
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I have a 19 and 21 year old and if they want to go see friends and hang out, I don't care what time they roll in. They also have keys and a garage code, so it's not like I leave the house unlocked or have to wake up and let them in.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-28-2015, 06:02 PM
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Who the fuck doesn't let their kids have keys?

That said, if they live at home and wake everyone up things would have to be said.


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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-28-2015, 06:20 PM
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I had a key to the door handle lock but not our dead bolt. After 1 a.m., I was out for the night. I slept in my car several times. My mom was nuts, though

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-28-2015, 08:10 PM Thread Starter
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MadCar, how old were you when your mom locked you out at 1am?

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Who the fuck doesn't let their kids have keys?
He had the keys. His father put the chain on, though. (Apartment living.) He is first generation, so his parents were old school immigrants, and this was years ago. Of course, my parents were old school immigrants too, but by 18 and 19, I was coming home at all sorts of hours.

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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-28-2015, 09:00 PM
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You people are crazy, locking your kids out.


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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 06:31 AM
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You people are crazy, locking your kids out.
I dunno. I can see the other side of this and say, it's a logical consequence. The doors are locked at 1am. If you have not made prior arrangements to make sure the doors are available after that time, you are shit out of luck.

If they are minor kids under 18, then yes, you are still responsible for them or have social services intervene.

But on the other hand, if the parents got up to explain why the door was locked and to tell the kid, hey, I'm not unlocking this door, then that is shitacular and crazy.

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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 06:52 AM
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Here, you can vote at 18 and legally purchase alcohol at 19. That makes you an adult. I wouldn't lock an adult or child out of my home.

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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 06:52 AM
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When I lived at home until I was 21 I had a 1am curfew. I didn't always make that curfew but if my parents knew they never said anything Click here to enlarge
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 06:58 AM
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I was 18-19. We got into a huge fight one day and I came home from work that night to see all of my stuff on the front porch. I went and stayed on my dad's couch after that.

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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 07:00 AM
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Oh, and then I got with the ex, we got married and I moved back to my mom's 6 months later because he was an abusive ass. I was 20 at that point and she no longer locked me out. I guess getting married and divorced changes that. Click here to enlarge

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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 10:21 AM
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Because we have a puppy that thinks everyone moving is for him we have a stricter curfew. If the 19 is going to be out much past one he stays at his girlfriends. He works at a pub on the weekends so he is home around one but if he wants to go out after he crashes at her place. The other we ask him to be home by one because he is newly 18 and only been driving 7 months.

my only request is if you are going to be late or plans change text me so I don't worry.

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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 10:22 AM
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and I can't lock my kids out we don't use keys, we have a code. LOL

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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 05:01 PM
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Frankie will be 18 most of her senior year. I expect we will keep a curfew until she graduates. After graduation, I don't think they will have a curfew. More along the lines of letting me know so I don't worry.

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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-29-2015, 05:53 PM
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I wish my kid just wanted to leave the house occasionally.
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-30-2015, 09:01 AM
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leslie_Mahaffy

her parents locked her out of the house as a punishment for coming home too late.

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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-30-2015, 11:44 AM
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Locking your kid out is straight up bullshit.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-30-2015, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leslie_Mahaffy

her parents locked her out of the house as a punishment for coming home too late.
Click here to enlarge


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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-30-2015, 12:33 PM
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Holy fucking shit, Mama Click here to enlarge

Locking your kids out is fucked up. I think that a reasonable expectation of anyone living in the home is to be home at an agreed upon hour, regardless of age.
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