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OverTheTop 04-06-2011 11:15 AM

TMI ALERT - Hemorrhoids
In agony. To the point of tears and I tend to tolerate pain fairly well. Have tried witch hazel, preparation H, ice packs - hell I even soaked a tissue with Chloraseptic to numb the area. Lying down doesn't help. I wish I could lie on my stomach because that might help a little. I have a 12 hour shift ahead of me during which I will have to sit or stand the entire time. The bulgy fucker won't stay in when I push it back, and short of taping my butt hole shut, I don't know what else to do. I haven't been constipated at all, so that isn't why this is happening. I can see myself becoming constipated now though if I can't get this beast under control. And now every time the baby moves, it feels like he is head butting me directly in the asshole. :crybaby

Patsit 04-06-2011 11:42 AM

Can your OB see you? I would think that would be a good enough reason for some intervention.

I'm so sorry.

OverTheTop 04-06-2011 12:13 PM

I want to try and get some relief on my own first. If I can't achieve that by tomorrow, I will call. I am feeling marginally better for the moment, after icing the area and soaking with chloraseptic. I probably have the most minty fresh ass ever. :lol

Patsit 04-06-2011 12:18 PM

:rofl OMG. :crybaby

I had them after gastric bypass when my gut was still healing and I was taking huge amounts of iron. I can't imagine having a baby sitting on top of all that.

I hope you continue to feel better. :love

BusyNovember 04-06-2011 12:25 PM

:crybaby I am so sorry. I had them with 3 of my kids and it was pure hell. I remember after giving birth my ass hurt more than anything else did. I couldn't sleep for weeks. They finally relented but even now, the fuckers sometimes appear out of no where :crybaby

Faster Pussycat 04-06-2011 01:55 PM

The hemmies were the worst part of my hideous horrible pregnancy with Deirdre, and were worse than the c/s incision and post-surgical gas to deal with afterward, too. My obs didn't do or offer to do anything about them, either. They just nodded sadly at me and said Yeah that sucks.

Yummy! 04-06-2011 03:03 PM

I didn't have ass grapes but I had the same thing basically but on my puss. FYI you don't want to KNOW how that bleeds when it tears a tiny bit during childbirth. :lol Having a varicose vag made me stay home a lot more often in December than I would have otherwise because I hated wearing pants. :lol (:crybaby)

Nothing helped and it hurt a lot and it got steadily worse (not rapidly worse though, and it cropped up around 5-6 mos for me). The best thing I can tell you is that it was GONE by 3 weeks post partum. both times. I had one with my first pg too, in pretty much the same place.

you will have that baby any day now and your ass grapes will hopefully vanish with the placenta.

Dr. Nurse 04-06-2011 03:51 PM

I had my first experience my last pregnancy. It sucked but it was gone when the baby came no return of those fuckers :l

Faster Pussycat 04-06-2011 04:24 PM

Mine got better, but still recur for no apparent reason. :crybaby

OverTheTop 04-06-2011 07:37 PM

:crybaby I spent over $30 buying junk to help, and nothing has so far, except for chloraseptic and ice. Being a nurse and having ass grapes that feel like they are growing by the second just doesn't go together. I am walking like I am 90 and having to sit down/stand up is freaking agony.

Yummy, I would be crying so much harder if I had vaginal grapes. :crybaby

I'm getting my supervisor to ask another nurse who is on call tonight if she'd like to split a shift with me. My manager has offered to try and find someone to work in my place tomorrow night. It's pretty embarrassing to have to tell all my co-workers that I am not in labor - my ass is.

The one good thing is that here in the hospital, I have access to a peri-bottle (that I'm waiting for my supervisor to steal for me from L&D) and they have the peri-pads with built in ice packs - I just need to call up and see if she can snag some of those for me too. Also, there are gauze squares just the perfect size to soak in chloraseptic and apply to the area. If the Pyxis weren't locked down so tight, I'd figure out a way to snag myself some viscous lidocaine - I am just that desperate. :lol

OverTheTop 04-07-2011 04:31 AM

Soooooo the cheap ass hospital stopped buying the ice packs for crotches, but I did snag a peri bottle. I had to leave work it got so bad. I was crying and moaning in my sleep, pissing off Princess Sydney who didn't want to hear it while she was getting ready for school. I am currently sitting with an ice pack on my ass, and am waiting for the doc's office to open so I can call and beg for something prescription strength. I shudder to think of the drive to the drug store, and having to walk tenderly around waiting for a script to be filled. :shudder

silentjen 04-07-2011 10:18 AM

OTT, that sounds so annoying! So far so good for me, but I guess there is plenty of time for the little fuckers to pop out. I made it through the last pregnancy without any. I hope you get some relief soon!

OverTheTop 04-07-2011 10:48 AM

I had them during my other pregnancies, but they were only seen and not felt - at least painfully anyway.

More TMI ahead - I had a couple agonizing poops this morning that apparently helped because they moved the goo from the suppositories I had used back through again. It wasn't complete relief, but a bunch. Then the OB called in a script for strong suppositories, and I am feeling soooooo much better. I am going to work tonight! Hooray!

judymoody 04-07-2011 04:32 PM

My last pregnancy I spent the last 2 months sitting on the toilet on one of those sitz baths for old people. Go get one. Fill it full of the hottest water you can stand. Sit in it. Ahhhh.

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