"My gosh, you're HUGE!" - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-14-2003, 10:46 PM Thread Starter
Wayward Wombat
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"My gosh, you're HUGE!"

So, I was at a coffee bar the other evening, a place I go regularly (every two weeks). The woman serving coffee says, "Gosh, you just keep getting bigger and bigger!" I smile pleasantly and say, "Yeah, well, that tends to be how it works" or something similarly inane. She asks, "So when are you due?" and I say, "September." "September?!??" she says, and her mouth drops open. "My gosh, I thought you had to be due WAY sooner than September! Are you carrying triplets? Quadruplets?!?"

Click here to enlarge

I am not even someone who is particularly sensitive about this sort of comment. Really, I'm not. I think the sour expression on my face was in part surprise that a woman was this clueless (it's usually men), combined with the fact that I have a pretty good eye for pregnant bodies at this point, and I'm really not all that big! I look distinctly pregnant but not about to pop.

Anyway, she asked me as she was bringing me my decafe mocha if she'd said something wrong. Click here to enlarge I told her very nicely that she should be careful who she made "quadruplets" comments to, as a lot of pregnant women find them very upsetting. She was absolutely shocked that anyone would be offended by something like that. Go figure...

(I still tipped. I buy one drink and then stay until closing time, so I view a good tip as part of the rent on my table.)

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-14-2003, 10:52 PM
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Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge

AAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO FUCKING STUPID!!! Omg, first chick that says this to me, I'm gonna say, "yes, I'm having quads, and hey, when are you getting that liposuction and boob lift? MAN those things are SAGGY!!"

Click here to enlarge

Stupid, stupid woman. Naomi, you are so gracious. Click here to enlarge She would have lost some teeth or grown a new asshole had she said that to me. Click here to enlarge Bitch.
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 05:22 AM
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I got huge comments as soon as I started to show, no one ever asked me about multiples though. And they came from both men and women equally. I vow to never do this, it is just rude. Now that I'm so close people have stopped telling me how huge I am, except my MIL that is.

It's not a feeling, it's a knowing.

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I'll buck the trend, I don't think her kids are all that in the cute department. not all kids are cute. they have other attributes that make up for that, but look at tweedle's aiden, that is a cute kid. and your kids mel, those are adorable kids. Her's are average. I wouldn't take a second look passing her on the street.
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 07:21 AM
 
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Click here to enlarge I sort of miss the "huge" comments - two weeks ago when we took ds to the zoo I got a bunch of "you're SO tiny, are you sure everything's OK?" comments. I'm not sure which is more annoying!

Sybermoms really, really needs to come up with a tee for us Preggos:

solid color maternity shirt, comes with a laundry marker, and fill-in blanks:

Yes, I'm pregnant.
Due date _____________
Yes, the date's right
No, it isn't twins.
Yes, I'm SURE!
Yes, I know the sex.
No, I won't tell you.
No, you MAY NOT TOUCH!
Click here to enlarge
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 07:49 AM
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My own mom told me when I was pregnant with dd, "Gawd, you're like freakishly BIG!"
It's like a pride thing in my family. We have BIG babies and BIG bellies. That comment still made me want to hurt her though. Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge
post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 08:57 AM
Yeah that.
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Before I was ever pregnant, I was one of those women *hanging head in shame*. But to me, saying "you're so big" was really "OMG you're pregnant and absolutely beautiful". It never occurred to me that "you're so big" would not be a compliment to a pregnant person Click here to enlarge. What a loser I was Click here to enlarge Like ANY woman wants to be told that they are big. Pregnant or not. I'm sure that most people don't mean it in a negative sense ... and they are just as clueless and ignorant as I once was *hanging head even lower*. I remember the first time someone told me that I was so big. I went home and cried for hours Click here to enlarge
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 09:03 AM
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It's all relative, I think. When I was toward the end of my last pg, I was big but not humongous big.. however, my male neighbor swore I was carrying triplets. Had he attended my lamaze class, he would have seen that my size was perfectly normal for my stage of pg. However, it is still my feeling that people do generally suck with regard to pregnancy related comments. Click here to enlarge
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 09:11 AM Thread Starter
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Back during my first pregnancy, my MIL threw a surprise baby shower for me back in Massachusetts, so I got to see all my in-laws while pregnant. My dh's cousins were experts at coming up with nice ways to comment on a pregnant woman's looks. They said that I made a "really attractive pregnant woman" and admired the fact that I was "all belly." Much better than "my gosh, you're huge!" Click here to enlarge

I was at an SF con the weekend before last, and quite a few people commented on my pregnancy. One was a guy who said something like, "So, you must be almost done, right?" I smiled and said, "September," and he turned beet red and mumbled an apology before hurrying away. Clearly, he at least understood the etiquette and knew that he'd committed a horrible faux pas. But that one didn't particularly bug me, because I don't expect men to have any ability at all to estimate due date from belly size.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 09:14 AM
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You people are all too nice. Click here to enlarge I must be bitch almighty or something, because I will immediately throw out the fat/saggy boobs/small penis/balding comments to the first turd that makes that comment. Click here to enlarge

I'm just a big ol' bitch, I guess. Click here to enlarge The only "huge" comment I ever made was to my sister, it was when she was 6 weeks pregnant, and I said, "damn, your boobs are pregnant!" Click here to enlarge She turned into Dolly Parton over night.

Holy hooters, batman! Click here to enlarge
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 09:15 AM
Yeah that.
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I don't think I'll mind the "you're so big" comments this time around ... as much as I minded "you're already having another?!?!" a couple of months ago. I wasn't pregnant a couple of months ago Click here to enlarge
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 09:15 AM
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Oh, and I make it a POINT to tell each patient how beautiful her belly is. Click here to enlarge They need to hear something positive rather than OH MAH GAWD, YOU'RE HUGE!! Click here to enlarge Most of them say I'm the first person to say something nice. Click here to enlarge

Idiots. Click here to enlarge
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 09:17 AM
Yeah that.
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I swear to doG I'm walking into L/D requesting "Doodle" as my nurse Click here to enlarge

DB, puleaze come and deliver me. Puleaze?
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 09:19 AM
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Click here to enlarge Megs, I think you're a little bit too far of a drive. Click here to enlarge You'll be fine. Click here to enlarge Just keep in mind, I'm the meanest nurse up there, so it can only get bettah. Click here to enlarge
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 11:43 AM
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Co-workers: You are getting so big. When is your due date again?
Me: September 18th
Co-workers: Damn, you really are big.
Me: Yeah, well thanks.
Co-workers: September 18th? You sure it isn't August? You look like you are going to pop!


Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge I go through this everyday, literally every freaking day. I see the same people everyday. Our office consists of approximately 15 people!!
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 01:08 PM
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I get the, oh gosh, you're so tiny comments.

I just think that the people who say things like that haven't been around pregnant women very much or have never been pregnant themselves otherwise they would Click here to enlarge as soon as those comments came out of their mouth.


Oh, and Doodle? Can I fly you out to be with me when I deliver??? Pretty please? It's really nice weather here in San Diego in September... Click here to enlarge
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 07:56 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah, I want Doodle as my L&D nurse too, dammit! But I like my hospital okay; I want her to move to my city and start working there.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.
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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 08:44 PM
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My Mom came to the mainland to visit today as a matter of fact. The first thing she said to me was," Wow! Are you sure there's only one in there?! You're huge, you poor thing." This coming from a woman who dieted while PG to keep from gaining weight so she didn't get fat. And she admits it. Wugh. The very same woman who got liposuction at 53 years old because she couldn't fit into size 10 clothes anymore. Spare me. Gotta love the comments! Click here to enlarge

Danskos and Sorel boots for sale:
http://www.sybermoms.com/forums/show...17#post9865717
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 11:14 PM
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I have always hated these comments and working in an office of 100 people I got the "you're huge" comment about 20 times every day.

The worst was at the end of a long day when I went to step into a crowded elevator a supervisor from my office said "Wow, I don't know if you should get in, you might push the weight limit over the edge." Bitchy self that I am said "well I'm pregnant what's your excuse and got quite a chuckle from the rest of the elevator.

I got so frustrated with comments and questions at the end of my pregnancy that I would close my office door and put a sign up answering the most frequently asked questions.

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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 11:47 PM
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Where the hell's that t-shirt idea from Burly? Seriously...we should suggest that to the admins for the syber store. I be that would be a hot seller. I know I'D buy one. Click here to enlarge
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