Why does my man .....................? - Page 2 - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #21 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-25-2006, 09:46 AM
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post #22 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-01-2006, 06:50 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteTrashBarbie
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I have been on vacation, for like forever.


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post #23 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-03-2006, 03:56 AM Thread Starter
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lets break this up

Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilBad
Why does my DH think it is a good idea to grab my breasts and/or butt
Because it IS a good idea!


Quote:
while I am in the middle of putting dishes away, and cannot move away from the groping?
You may not realize the ballet of the flesh that a woman performs with all that bending and reaching up towards the cupboards. Imagine the act set to some symphonic overture. Other blatant but unrealized mixed signals are often sent when you fry eggs or write a check for the gas bill. Watch yourself, temptress.


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post #24 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-03-2006, 04:05 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boo
Why does my dh insist on putting things together without reading the directions? I watched him struggle to put together a stroller last night, all the while the directions sat in the box. Click here to enlarge
You cannot seriously expect a man to ask for, nor follow directions.

Say the following next time:

"Here are the instructions honey."

This will not work for a driving man, since you cannot pull up and ask for "instructions" on how to get to Hidden Lake. But the point is moot since all men have a built in compass/ability to reach their destination and GPS/directional systems are now standard in most vehicles to help women acheive that level of confidence.


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post #25 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-03-2006, 04:12 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyerin
Why is it impossible for my DH to shut drawers and cupboard doors?

Or was this covered in "man time"? Click here to enlarge
This is very much a mantime event, as is my taking a week to answer.

Leaving the drawer open also makes it more convenient the next time something is needed from that drawer. It is already open.


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #26 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-03-2006, 08:00 AM
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Quote:
When asked during a survey many men responded they enjoyed oral sex due to their partners complete inability to carry on a conversation during the act.
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post #27 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-07-2006, 06:01 AM
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this is the funniest thread on the whole site Click here to enlarge


ok, ok... why does my man need to have a turbo powered lawn edger with an onboard computer and a custom paint job? We only have about 85 feet of frontage. Is it because the guy next door just got one with chrome exhaust?



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post #28 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-07-2006, 08:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hester
this is the funniest thread on the whole site Click here to enlarge


ok, ok... why does my man need to have a turbo powered lawn edger with an onboard computer and a custom paint job? We only have about 85 feet of frontage. Is it because the guy next door just got one with chrome exhaust?
Hester, I have no balls, but I can answer your question: YES. Click here to enlarge
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post #29 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-07-2006, 09:40 AM Thread Starter
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Well what at first appears to be a sign of insecurity and simple materialistic one-up-manship is actually not at all what it seems. This example clearly shows the drive that has made the human race thrive. Just imagine another example, Oh let's say the USA and USSR, and lets use rockets instead of lawn edgers. So should the USA been content to have a Sputnik? Hell no, we wanted better, and we ended up standing on the FUCKING MOON Hester, THE FUCKING MOON to prove just how much nicer our yard was edged.

(Is there anything more phallic than a Saturn V, if there is I have not seen it.)


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post #30 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-07-2006, 09:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeyjoe
Well what at first appears to be a sign of insecurity and simple materialistic one-up-manship is actually not at all what it seems. This example clearly shows the drive that has made the human race thrive. Just imagine another example, Oh let's say the USA and USSR, and lets use rockets instead of lawn edgers. So should the USA been content to have a Sputnik? Hell no, we wanted better, and we ended up standing on the FUCKING MOON Hester, THE FUCKING MOON to prove just how much nicer our yard was edged.

(Is there anything more phallic than a Saturn V, if there is I have not seen it.)
Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge
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post #31 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-12-2006, 07:06 PM
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Why can't my husband or my son FIND anything? Click here to enlarge

DH lost his wallet less than 48 hours before he was supposed to fly to Chicago. We looked everywhere, called the grocery store where he last had it, our friend who had us over for dinner that night searched her house & driveway - nada. He had to find his birth certificate & SS card (which he aptually managed to do Click here to enlarge) and cancel debit card, etc.

The morning he was supposed to leave, I walk by the dining room table and there was his wallet, just sitting there on the corner in plain sight. Click here to enlarge Obviously, it had been covered up by something - probably my knitting Click here to enlarge

A. Why did my mommy-endowed finding skills not work at all?
B. How the fuck did he NOT SEE THE DAMN THING when he looked for it on the table? More than once?
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post #32 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-12-2006, 08:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeyjoe
This is very much a mantime event, as is my taking a week to answer.

Leaving the drawer open also makes it more convenient the next time something is needed from that drawer. It is already open.
Is that why he leaves a trail of shoes and dirty clothes from the foyer to the kitchen, and of course, the bathroom?
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post #33 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 12:25 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMG
A. Why did my mommy-endowed finding skills not work at all?
I cannot comment on mommy skills, that is beyond the scope of this thread.



Quote:
B. How the fuck did he NOT SEE THE DAMN THING when he looked for it on the table? More than once?
It is diabolical to hide the wallet in knitting, ActMan certainly did not place his wallet under your knitting when he set it down. Why would he look there?

This is either your fault or your home may be plauged with gnomish creatures who get off on hiding stuff. Click here to enlarge


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #34 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 12:33 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Full Moon
Is that why he leaves a trail of shoes and dirty clothes from the foyer to the kitchen, and of course, the bathroom?
"a trail of shoes"

is this similar to the "Trail of tears"? Does he leave thousands of pairs of shoes
and dirty laundry between rooms? (maybe he does)

While mantime is an easy cop out, men drop their clothing in places most women find highly unusual. Perhaps it is that picking up clothes is seen as cleaning and not part of taking a shower. Also the fact that an article of clothing hits the floor does not make it dirty. Why the shirt I'm wearing now I wore yesterday evening and put on again this AM. It was not dirty enough to wash, yet not clean enough to hang back up. What better spot than the floor?


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post #35 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 04:40 PM
 
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Why does my man have a life and doesn't post on a message board full of fat ugly women (yes myself included)?

Also,
Why does my man think it's funny that I have personal ads online with a picture from 1994?

Also also,
Why does my man put up with my constant bitchy crazy whiny ass?
it's "for the kids" isn't it? Click here to enlarge

Also also also
FAGGOT!
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post #36 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-16-2006, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helga
Why does my man put up with my constant bitchy crazy whiny ass?
it's "for the kids" isn't it? Click here to enlarge
He has replaced you with his friend in the basement.


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #37 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 06:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeyjoe
You may not realize the ballet of the flesh that a woman performs with all that bending and reaching up towards the cupboards. Imagine the act set to some symphonic overture. Other blatant but unrealized mixed signals are often sent when you fry eggs or write a check for the gas bill. Watch yourself, temptress.

oh but for a quoter.Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." ~Robin Tyler
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post #38 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 09:33 AM
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Why have I been so unsure as to the gender of AMG? Click here to enlarge

Why would my husband ask me where something is, wait for me to tell him specifically, go to get said item only to come back saying it isn't there, wait for me to walk to the place where I said the item was, bring it back to him and then question me as to where it really was? On the counter by the stove like I told you. "Show me exactly where," he says. I refuse on principle so he says I'm lying and it wasn't there. Click here to enlarge
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post #39 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 09:37 AM
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I've got one.... How come DH can become LOST or take the wrong fucking turn off or the wrong turn going someplace we go to every week?

How can DH NOT HEAR the fucking blinker he has left on for the past mile? And why oh why does he start having a conversation with me about something that I have no idea what he's talking about? Like he started the conversation in his head first which explained everything, and then just decided to blurt out the inane comment that makes no sense at all, because I wasn't privy to that part of the conversation in his head.
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post #40 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 10:14 PM
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How can I get him to remember to take out the trash every morning? I've tried everything from nagging to having him tie his car keys to the trash bag ( he ran around the house for 20 minutes the next morning because he couldn't find the keys)

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