Why does my man .....................? - Page 4 - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
Got Balls? A place for our Syberdads to post for support and chatter about their balls.

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post #61 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-21-2007, 01:01 PM Thread Starter
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Do you remember the commercial with the dad and son walking down the beach talking about freshness?

Of course you don't, there exists no such thing.

Why?

Because men don't care what their balls smell like.



On the other hand having a smelly tuna crotch in public is a fear worst than death for most women.


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #62 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-21-2007, 05:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeyjoe
The enjoyment of oral sex, as touched on in above posts, is it renders the female unable to speak.

Note:

regular intercourse- .........do you love me? .......

blow job- ...........mo.y...muv..meh........................ ..
wow, that's disgusting.



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post #63 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-23-2007, 05:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatsit
Why is my husband so obsessed with poop, his and our childrens? Click here to enlarge
Good fuck, I think I have found Dr. Finch.
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post #64 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-23-2007, 08:47 AM
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Ya, it's always the ones that are shaped strangely and large.

He hates Oprah but had to watch that episode when she talked about poop...over and over and over again.

..one time when dd#1 was about a year old we had her diaper off and she was running around the apt. nekid. He is talking to his younger brother and dd poops w/o diaper and they start talking about how large the log is.

Why would he talk to his brother about the size of the turd that his daughter just pooped out? I find that gross and inappropriate.
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post #65 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-23-2007, 10:20 AM
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Oh Creme, take a look...you'll find better things to fLame.
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post #66 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-23-2007, 10:59 AM
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TJ, I bow to your infinite wisdom on all things mentioned. Click here to enlarge

My question:

Why is it men can find tools in the garage, a deer in the woods, and always other nations to make war against, but they're incapable of finding the fucking Miracle Whip in the fridge?!? I can tell DH the shelf it's on, the color of the cap, and even what it's behind in the black hole that is our fridge, but he still can't find it. So....I have to drag my ass off the couch or away from SM's in order to move the pickles and reveal the existance of the non-existant Miracle Whip. WHY?!?!
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post #67 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-24-2007, 08:58 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KariLynn
Why is it men can find tools in the garage, a deer in the woods, and always other nations to make war against, but they're incapable of finding the fucking Miracle Whip in the fridge?!?
Before I mock or empathize I need to know......

Is it the glass jar, or the plastic squeeze bottle?

If it is the glass jar, I'm on your side, tell your dh to open his eyes.

However, if it is the plastic bottle, I too have spent 5 minutes on my hands and knees searching for the bottle I know is in there. The only advice is to designate a spot, preferably in a door rack as the "miracle whip spot."


Always return the whip to the spot.


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #68 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-25-2007, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yummy!
wow, that's disgusting.
Really? Because I feel the same way about men giving oral.

Click here to enlarge
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post #69 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-26-2007, 10:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeyjoe
Before I mock or empathize I need to know......

Is it the glass jar, or the plastic squeeze bottle?

If it is the glass jar, I'm on your side, tell your dh to open his eyes.

However, if it is the plastic bottle, I too have spent 5 minutes on my hands and knees searching for the bottle I know is in there. The only advice is to designate a spot, preferably in a door rack as the "miracle whip spot."


Always return the whip to the spot.
It's the plastic bottle. But what difference does what kind of jar it's in make?! Click here to enlarge What makes glass easier to see than plastic?! Click here to enlarge
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post #70 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-26-2007, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
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I think the plastic bottle matches the inside of the refrigerator so well it actually appears to be invisible to males most of the time.


buy him the glass.


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #71 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-02-2008, 06:42 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KariLynn
Why is it men can find tools in the garage, a deer in the woods, and always other nations to make war against, but they're incapable of finding the fucking Miracle Whip in the fridge?!?
Look at this! I saw an avatar that mentioned the phenomena, and found this:

http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/173/12/1494


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #72 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-04-2008, 07:55 PM
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post #73 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-04-2008, 09:42 PM Thread Starter
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bumping, because many male mysteries appear during the holiday season.


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post #74 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-04-2008, 10:00 PM
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Why does my DH, who detests shopping, uses only catalogues, INSIST on going out alone into malls and varied stores, usually miles and miles apart on December 23rd and/or 24th to get the last of his shopping done?
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post #75 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 04:43 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grouchy
Why does my DH, who detests shopping, uses only catalogues, INSIST on going out alone into malls and varied stores, usually miles and miles apart on December 23rd and/or 24th to get the last of his shopping done?
Inevitable derives from the Latin word vitare (to avoid) and the prefix in (meaning not or without). It refers to something that cannot be avoided

He goes by himself to travel light and move fast. Last minute shopping at this point makes shopping a breeze, you care little about cost and are willing to spend extra to get the job completed. I took an old girlfriend shopping on Christmas Eve one year and she was amazed there were so many people out at the malls.

While I have heard the phrase, "I finished all my Christmas shopping," I can't recall it ever being uttered by a male, and if I'm mistaken it certainly has never been uttered prior to Thanksgiving.


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #76 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 06:05 AM
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This is with regards to male colleagues/bossman: Why, when we ladies are on the phone, on our corporate chat system, and on the terminal screen, performing EFFICIENTLY the 3 tasks, you need to unhook the phone before reading even the dumbest memo?
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post #77 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-07-2008, 09:04 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TangoMom
you need to unhook the phone before reading even the dumbest memo?
I'm a bit confused about your question??


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #78 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-07-2008, 10:36 AM
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It's something some of my male colleagues do, they, well, not unhook the phone exactly but keep it hung off because they need all the concentration they can gather, just to read a dumb piece of paper...imagine when it's something really serious. And it gets worse when they get close to the 50s.
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post #79 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-11-2008, 07:54 PM Thread Starter
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So it appears your question is, "why are men capable of only doing one task at a time?"

That appears to be a Argentina man specific question.

The scope of "Go ask your Man" may be limited to North America.


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tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
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post #80 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-17-2009, 08:02 PM Thread Starter
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time for a bump


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