Why does my man .....................? - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
Got Balls? A place for our Syberdads to post for support and chatter about their balls.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-29-2006, 08:53 PM Thread Starter
Sunbeastin
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
turkeyjoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: south of the cheddar curtain
Posts: 17,907
Blog Entries: 21
           
Why does my man .....................?

go ahead and ask our panel of experts

Click here to enlarge


poster most fowl





tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
turkeyjoe is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-29-2006, 09:22 PM
Registered User
 
Hobnail Liver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Happy Flower Kitty Land!
Posts: 38,421
           
Why do men think us giving them head while they are driving is comfortable for us? Click here to enlarge
Hobnail Liver is offline  
post #3 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-29-2006, 11:47 PM Thread Starter
Sunbeastin
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
turkeyjoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: south of the cheddar curtain
Posts: 17,907
Blog Entries: 21
           
Perhaps the vehicle you are using to perform fellatio in is not suitable for proper cranial/spinal alighment.

Invest in a SUV, many are available for schlong shlurping on the cheap due to higher gas prices. Realize your man is worth it. Click here to enlarge


they don't call them hummers for nothing.


poster most fowl





tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
turkeyjoe is offline  
post #4 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 09:21 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
coco_nutcase's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 7,948
  
On that note, why are they called hummers? Humming on it makes me think of a harmonica and that makes me laugh, and laughing while performing a bj is not good.
coco_nutcase is offline  
post #5 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 09:28 PM
Registered User
 
Hobnail Liver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Happy Flower Kitty Land!
Posts: 38,421
           
Click here to enlarge Click here to enlarge
Hobnail Liver is offline  
post #6 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 10:01 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
Patsit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Springs, CO
Posts: 58,443
           
Why is my husband so obsessed with poop, his and our childrens? Click here to enlarge
Patsit is offline  
post #7 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 10:41 PM Thread Starter
Sunbeastin
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
turkeyjoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: south of the cheddar curtain
Posts: 17,907
Blog Entries: 21
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by coco_nutcase
On that note, why are they called hummers? Humming on it makes me think of a harmonica and that makes me laugh, and laughing while performing a bj is not good.
While a "hummer" has become accepted slang for oral sex, it refers actually creating a hum while performing the act. The vibrating sensation would increase pleasure, so the theory goes. A better question would be your use of the term "bj". Blowing on the male organ would seem pointless, as would laughing while attempting to hum a few bars.


poster most fowl





tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
turkeyjoe is offline  
post #8 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 10:46 PM Thread Starter
Sunbeastin
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
turkeyjoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: south of the cheddar curtain
Posts: 17,907
Blog Entries: 21
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatsit
Why is my husband so obsessed with poop, his and our childrens? Click here to enlarge
Being obsessed with poop is just plain weird. I assume your man is proud of his ability to produce large logs. Has your husband ever asked you to come look at a few measly goat turds? Exactly.

Back in the diaper changing days I saw a turd the size of a racquet ball in ds's diaper. How he managed that, I'll never know.


poster most fowl





tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
turkeyjoe is offline  
post #9 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 11:34 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
coco_nutcase's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 7,948
  
I always thought it was called a "blow" job because it caused the man to "blow his wad".

I hate the word "wad", although I DID win a game of Pictionary with that word once. Click here to enlarge
coco_nutcase is offline  
post #10 of 81 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 11:39 PM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
Patsit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Springs, CO
Posts: 58,443
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeyjoe
Being obsessed with poop is just plain weird. I assume your man is proud of his ability to produce large logs. Has your husband ever asked you to come look at a few measly goat turds? Exactly.

Back in the diaper changing days I saw a turd the size of a racquet ball in ds's diaper. How he managed that, I'll never know.
Ya, it's always the ones that are shaped strangely and large.

He hates Oprah but had to watch that episode when she talked about poop...over and over and over again. Click here to enlarge

..one time when dd#1 was about a year old we had her diaper off and she was running around the apt. nekid. He is talking to his younger brother and dd poops w/o diaper and they start talking about how large the log is. Click here to enlarge
Patsit is offline  
post #11 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-01-2006, 06:35 AM Thread Starter
Sunbeastin
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
turkeyjoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: south of the cheddar curtain
Posts: 17,907
Blog Entries: 21
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by coco_nutcase
I always thought it was called a "blow" job because it caused the man to "blow his wad".
That is silly, most women do not understand that most men enjoy the closeness and intimacy of the act, not the "blowing of the wad" into their partners warm inviting mouth or "blowing their wad" into the cleavage of their partner's ample bosom. When asked during a survey many men responded they enjoyed oral sex due to their partners complete inability to carry on a conversation during the act.


poster most fowl





tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
turkeyjoe is offline  
post #12 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-01-2006, 08:31 PM
Wayward Wombat
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
WhiteTrashBarbie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Trailer toybox
Posts: 3,121
           
Why do men never seem to know where the dishwasher or the replacement roll of toilet tissue are?
WhiteTrashBarbie is offline  
post #13 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-01-2006, 11:03 PM Thread Starter
Sunbeastin
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
turkeyjoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: south of the cheddar curtain
Posts: 17,907
Blog Entries: 21
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteTrashBarbie
Why do men never seem to know where the dishwasher or the replacement roll of toilet tissue are?
Men know where both these items are. I imagine your question should be re-phrased as: "Why won't my man put his dishes in the dishwasher, or why won't my man replace an empty roll of toilet paper?"

The answer to this question is: men will fill the dishwasher, and men will replace an empty roll of buttwipe (or at least leave a new roll on the tank lid). But, they will do this on man time. Man time is often confusing to women because it appears we are oblivious to simple tasks, when the reality is we just have not got to the point of putting a dish into the dishwasher or replacing a household item.

While there is no exact conversion formula for mantime, female researchers often use the monetary rate of US Dollars to the Mexican Pesos. The rate is not static, certain events, such as running out of beer or coming home for a quickie occur much faster in mantime. Click here to enlarge


poster most fowl





tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
turkeyjoe is offline  
post #14 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-02-2006, 07:17 AM
Wayward Wombat
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
WhiteTrashBarbie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Trailer toybox
Posts: 3,121
           
Mantime Click here to enlarge
WhiteTrashBarbie is offline  
post #15 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-02-2006, 08:12 AM
Registered User
 
Hobnail Liver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Happy Flower Kitty Land!
Posts: 38,421
           
So what IS the big deal about blow jobs for guys? Why do they want that so much? What is the phenomenal difference between the mouth and the, well, cooter? Click here to enlarge

Oh, and why do guys, no matter how young or old, think farting and anything fart-related is so doGdamned hilarious? Click here to enlarge
Hobnail Liver is offline  
post #16 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-02-2006, 08:31 AM Thread Starter
Sunbeastin
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
turkeyjoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: south of the cheddar curtain
Posts: 17,907
Blog Entries: 21
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tunapie_Honeybunch
So what IS the big deal about blow jobs for guys? Why do they want that so much? What is the phenomenal difference between the mouth and the, well, cooter? Click here to enlarge
The enjoyment of oral sex, as touched on in above posts, is it renders the female unable to speak.

Note:

regular intercourse- .........do you love me? .......

blow job- ...........mo.y...muv..meh........................ ..


I'm now convinced it was a woman who attempted to carry on a conversation while performing fellatio who invented the "hummer".









Quote:
Oh, and why do guys, no matter how young or old, think farting and anything fart-related is so doGdamned hilarious? Click here to enlarge
You have to ask? Click here to enlarge

We will discuss this topic later in regards to such man things as the Three Stooges.


poster most fowl





tj=bedazzled scrotum tj=creepy skin tag tj=crotch splotch tj=cyber stockings tj=daisy pincher tj=festering bunion tj=gonad masseuse tj=lard broom tj=lard mallet tj=matted back fat tj=musty mittens tj=nostril polish tj=nut gazer tj=pervert tj=puffed anus tj=sphincter flap tj=squid bollocks tj=syber "mons" tj=taint painter tj=toads nipple tonya tarantula turkey is lead paint tutor hard chairs
turkeyjoe is offline  
post #17 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-02-2006, 08:37 AM
Registered User
 
Hobnail Liver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Happy Flower Kitty Land!
Posts: 38,421
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeyjoe
The enjoyment of oral sex, as touched on in above posts, is it renders the female unable to speak.

Note:

regular intercourse- .........do you love me? .......

blow job- ...........mo.y...muv..meh........................ ..


I'm now convinced it was a woman who attempted to carry on a conversation while performing fellatio who invented the "hummer".
Oh my god. Click here to enlarge
Hobnail Liver is offline  
post #18 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 02:17 AM
Wayward Wombat
Hard-Core Sybermom
 
EvilBad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Smell my finger
Posts: 27,666
           
Why does my DH think it is a good idea to grab my breasts and/or butt while I am in the middle of putting dishes away, and cannot move away from the groping? There are plenty of other occasions where I would not mind the groping. When I'm holding a stack of glass plates, not so much.

General Immoral Fuckery
EvilBad is offline  
post #19 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 04:10 AM
boo
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
boo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 9,662
     
Why does my dh insist on putting things together without reading the directions? I watched him struggle to put together a stroller last night, all the while the directions sat in the box. Click here to enlarge
boo is offline  
post #20 of 81 (permalink) Old 07-25-2006, 07:02 AM
Registered User
Unsupportive Freeloader
 
Lyerin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: at my house
Posts: 22,729
           
Why is it impossible for my DH to shut drawers and cupboard doors?

Or was this covered in "man time"? Click here to enlarge
Lyerin is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sybermoms Parenting Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself. Do NOT use an AOL email address.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome