bring my son home - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-12-2005, 08:15 PM
for_cayde
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Unhappy bring my son home

please visit my site to read my story

Bring Cayde Home
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-14-2005, 04:34 PM
BeachBitch
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Listen, I know how you feel. Keep your chin up.

When I left the sumbitch, I took the younger 2 with me. 6 and 11. Gave them a wonderful home in a nice 3br townhouse. Soccer mom and all that. At 13, the older one decided to go back to the asshole. Why? Because it was FUN over there. (read: no supervision) The courts will ALWAYS let the kid decide...WTF is THAT about??? I can send you my email, and you can hear the whole story, but suffice to say I'm a nice person from a nice home and a nice background and mothered them from my heart.

She went from being a cheerleader/1st chair trombone/good grades to failing, expelled for fighting, and caught with paraphenalia. And lost her virginity at 13.

Fast forward. After 2 yrs of no contact (although I tried), she came back because her dad was a well-to-do alcoholic who didn't have a clue and she was already ruined. 5 mos later she returned to her dad, when I tried to get help for her. He knocked her around, she tried to slit her wrists, went to therapeutic foster care for a year, and I got her back a year ago. Graduated this past spring.

So, what do the courts do? Give my 12yo baby to him. Last Feb. And the dipshit refuses me my visitation. We're STILL in court over it. I haven't seen my baby in 6 mos.

Believe me when I tell you I'm hurting for you...for both of us.

I hate dickhead men. Not all men, just the dickheads. And remember... the legal system was set-up by men, ruled by men, and screwed up by men.

BTW, I was married to him for 25 yrs. Two years after I left, he threw a heavy object at me and gave me a concussion. Said I ran into a tree on purpose to *frame* him. I really DO understand.
post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-14-2005, 10:32 PM
for_cayde
Ambulance Chaser
 
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wow....

i hate that you know exactly how I feel and what I am dealing with. It's the worst fucking feeling ever. I was the same. For 7 1/2 years, I was the best mom ever. I even had an uncle compliment my mother on what A great mother I was. Like I WOULDN'T be? They are my kids!!!!! The courts allow children to decide at 12 yoa. A few yrs ago, it was 10 but they realized the children who did this were being severly punsihed and abused by the parent they left. I'm in Dallas. Probably one of the largest divorce capitals there is and they are even adding a whole new "family" wing to the courthouse. There are about 4 women judges.....mine is NOT. and you are correct, the system is set up by men.

My ex absued me...for years. I ws stupid I admit. I had all this proof in court and the judge didnt care...as if it was so insignificant and meaningless. IT GOES TO CHARACTER!!!!!! I can only imagine the stories my ex told his wife so she would fall for him and support him. She had everything he wanted in life and he HAD to hang on to her. It's sickening and absolutely fucked up what we as mothers must endure because of these men that we once loved. I would look at him in court and I honestly could not recall a single thing I loved about him...I was thankful for my son and that was it! I refuse to give up my fight. I know my son wants to come home. He's told me this OVER AND OVER. When he was home for the 9 days, we went shopping and were getting ehatever we wanted. He was in awe. He said they don't so that "over there" bc they can't afford it and he is only allowed ONE treat. WTF??????? A kid only allowed ONE treat from the store? I spend more money on my kids than anything else. well, the one I have with me still anyway. My son will never go before the judge to tell him he wants to come home because he knows what will happen at his fathers. He knows that life would be miserable. My intent is to file a motion for the judge to confer with my son, have it granted immedaite and then recess for a few hours and have a neutral party go get my son and bring him to court so that my ex has NO WAY to brainwash and threaten him beforehand. because he would

I'm so sorry for your ordeal. I can't imagine how thats been for you and how your childrens sudden change in behavior has been. If only kids could realize what lies in wait at the "FUN HOUSE" before making such a drastic and horrible mistake. I hope that you get both your children back home and back on track. GOD bless you and good luck to you. Kudos to your daughter for graduating. I hope that she sees the error in her ways and is able to turn that around into something positive in her life and realize what a "dad" she really has. And for your son........I hope that you can get him back before its too late
post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-14-2005, 10:35 PM
for_cayde
Ambulance Chaser
 
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please send me your email. I would love to know more about your story and be a support for you as well. In situations like this, we need to stick together.
post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-16-2005, 01:15 PM
WickedRed
Ambulance Chaser
 
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Welcome Click here to enlarge

I have also had to fight for custody of my oldest (now almost 14) I was able to get him back from his father after 1 yr. My son was so screwed up from the yr with his dad, the effects still with him after being home almost 6 yrs.

Good luck! I hope your boy is home soon. Don't give up!

Click here to enlarge
post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-17-2005, 09:10 PM
BeachBitch
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Yes, the effect linger. My dd, the recent graduate, has just been arrested for the 2nd time this summer, DUI/underage. She may very well have to spend a year in jail. Before her dad had her, she was such a good kid. I've done all I know to do with counseling and all, but she seems to think she can get through life being just like him. An asshole. I just know he's ruining my youngest, too. And that one was the sweetest, most well-behaved boy you could ever know. doG, I miss him so.
post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-17-2005, 09:12 PM
BeachBitch
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BTW, you can get info about what they do to us. It's called "parental alienation syndrome". Look it up on Google. There are court cases you might be able to use.
post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-17-2005, 10:57 PM
for_cayde
Ambulance Chaser
 
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yeah, it seems the parent alienation thing has been going on for quit some time but so far, my son has failed to succumb to it totally. Hopefully and with GOD willing, he will be strong enough to not fall for all that. He's been with his father 3 years and 3 months and every chance he gets to talk to or see anyone in my family, he talks of coming home. My neice was able to talk to him yesterday but only briefly. He called her out of the blue. She said it was obvious someone was there with him because his words were clipped so nothing was said or asked about me. She told him that she and everyone else loved him and that we missed him. I know that's gotta be hard for him. I want to go on my own a file a motion for the judge to appoint a guardian ad litem for my son. He needs someone to speak for him, whats in HIS best interests because no one is letting him talk.

Beach.....i'm sorry what's going on with your daughter. it's so hard to get them back after they've changed so much into the ppl they become with the other parent. I think maybe alot of her issues is rebellion and anger towards her dad maybe for screwing her up but it comes out on you because she is back with you. Is she in any kind of counseling? I can't remember if we were told how old she is. Keep up the fight. It's all we can do for our children.
post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 05:43 AM
BeachBitch
Ambulance Chaser
 
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And the fight goes on.

My lawyer wrote to his lawyer that they were to have my son to me at 6:00 last Fri. They never showed.

On Monday, his lawyer refused a conference call with the judge. He said my ex's responses were:

1. I had to give him 2 weeks notice.
Yes, there is something about that in the papers, but considering how many of my school-year visits he didn't show up at, I figure he negated any and all arbitrary rules. He owes me and he knows it.

2. I have refused counseling, which they take my son to. He despises his mother and it would be traumatic for him to be with me.
WTF??? I have NEVAH been "invited" to any counseling, I don't know who this so-called counselor is, and he/she has never offered to include me in any "counseling". Which tells me this person is an idiot.

3. I was to refrain from cursing my son's step-mother in public.
I HAVE NEVAH, NEVAH, NEVAH cursed that woman in public. On the contrary, she has followed me all over the grocery store calling me a bitch. All I said to her was that she was insane, which she is.

I begged to be put on a lie-detector.

I have one month before my move is complete and I'll be 6-1/2 hrs. away.

The judge has finally gotten back to my lawyer and said he'll think about this visitation situation, and oh-gee he's aware he hasn't signed the papers regarding my back support ($10K). No other explanations.

Frustration abounds.
post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 05:46 AM
BeachBitch
Ambulance Chaser
 
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I shoulda said cousin humper instead of idiot. lol
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