Going to be a single mom - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
Single Moms Single Moms Support- We're doing by ourselves but we're not alone. Come here to chat about the pros and cons of being an unattached parent. Support only please.

 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-05-2017, 01:37 PM Thread Starter
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Smile Going to be a single mom

Hello, girls. I知 here to find out how is it being a single mom. I divorced with my husband three years ago. The reason is my infertility. He left me when he found out that I知 unable to give birth. He got married again. Now he has a daughter. I think he was dating this woman even when we were married. I know that it is unfair, but I知 not ready to discuss it. I still dream to have kids. Actually, I always wanted to be a mom. But I never wanted to adopt. I started looking for solutions. I found a lot of information about surrogacy with donor sperm. I believe it can help me. I知 looking for real stories of women, who already did the same. I知 a little bit scared, you know.
I consulted several fertility specialists. They told me that my eggs are fine and I can do it. I知 wondering, will this baby be genetically related to me? What should I do to protect my future baby and myself? I知 afraid that the surrogate will keep the baby. Is it possible?
Also, I have no idea what medical center to choose. I know that surrogacy is illegal in most countries. So, where should I go? Is it allowed to use the surrogacy if I知 not gonna get married again. I will never repeat this mistake. Now I know that men don稚 help. I am a strong woman and I can raise a baby alone.
So, the question is what problems will I face being a single mom? Is it that hard?
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-06-2017, 12:29 PM
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Hello. I see you are really strong woman. This is only your choice to get married or not. Being single mom can be hard. To say truth, being a mom is sometimes hard even if you are married.
I know that surrogacy is available for singles. Ann egg donation and donor sperm are great solotions for single people. We all want to have kids, so why can稚 we do this? You have to find the reproduction center,which offers such services. If they use your eggs the baby born will be genetically related to you. But first of all you have to consult the doctor. If you have a chance to give birth you can use the IVF service. As you are single you will still need the donor sperm.
In this case you will give birth on your own.
I know a lot of couples, which became parents with the help of the surrogacy. It is safe but it is not legal in most countries. I recommend you to choose one of European clinics. They offer great service at low prices.
The surrogate has no rights to keep the baby. Before the surrogacy process starts both of you will sign an agreement. It will protect you.
As usual all reproduction centers offer a big database of surrogates. There痴 no need for you to do it by yourself. All their surrogates are healthy. You will be allowed to visit your surrogate in a couple of months after the pregnancy beginning. It will be interesting to spend some time with her.
A lot of women are afraid of the surrogacy. I don t understand why. It really works. So, why not to use this chance? Hope you will succeed soon, dear.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-07-2017, 09:34 PM
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Hi,
Surrogacy will work well for you. Being a single mom has it's perks but it is not a bad thing. If you choose surrogacy and your eggs are viable, then you can use them. That way, your child will carry some of your genes. Surrogacy is absolutely safe and if you choose a good clinic, the surrogate mom will not disappear with your child. Normally, a clinic will have you both sign the necessary documents to guarantee that the child will be yours in the end. Surrogacy for gains is illegal in some parts of the world. It is however legal in places like Ukraine and Germany.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-23-2017, 02:52 PM
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Hi, Phoebe. I was so surprised reading your story. It is so similar to mine. My husband has left me because of my infertility. I desperately wanted to have kids that's why I didn't give up. I kept looking for solutions. The only person who supported me was my mother. I really appreciate her for help. She saved my life when I was ready to give up. That's why I decided to support you. I want you to be strong, dear. You will have an amazing life and you don't need your husband to be happy. I've gone for surrogacy with donor sperm. Now I have an amazing son and we live happily together. I can't imagine my life without him. He is the most important man in my life.
It is not that hard, dear. When your baby is born, you forget about all the difficulties. You see his smiling face and you feel like you are the happiest woman ever. I don't care that I didn't give birth to my son. I love him and he loves me. This is the most important. He was born by the surrogate in one of European clinics. I was there at that moment. You know, I didn't know anything about surrogacy before. Now I know that it works. Forget about your fears. Do what you want. Find a clinic and sign an agreement. Doctors will help you to do everything in the right way. There's nothing to be afraid of.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-05-2017, 12:42 PM
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Hello, dear. You are so brave! I mean your idea to become a single mom. Sometimes I feel so tired taking care of my daughter. But my husband always helps me. I really appreciate him for his help. I just can稚 imagine the life of single mother. I guess it is very hard. But, again, I知 proud of you. You are extremely brave.
I致e gone through surrogacy program last year. I have some recommendations for you. I don稚 know exactly how the program with the donor sperm works. But I知 sure it is very similar to an ordinary surrogacy program. It is very important to choose a good reproduction center. As a rule, they have to take care of everything for you. They will answer all of your questions. They will help you with tests and examinations. By the way, the price for the tests is included into the package price. You don稚 have to pay additionally.
After the examinations they will choose the surrogate and the sperm donor for you. All high qulity clinics have their own databases of donors. You don稚 have to do anything on your own.
After the embryo transfer you will have to wait for 3 weeks. After that you will find out the result. I知 sure it will be positive. To protect yourself and your future baby you will sign an agreement. The surrogate won稚 keep the baby in any way. Don稚 worry. Everything will be fine. Just try to do everything in the right way.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-21-2018, 09:37 AM
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Hi! Hope you are doing amazing. And you are totally fine. You are extremely brave to take such a step. Don't look at the past. Just keep moving forward. There are many clinics out there which will help you out. I have heard that the clinics in Russia are really good. One specifically is based in Ukraine. known as BioTexCom. It is a really good clinic for IVF and surrogacy. You can always contact them and find out the details. They do amazing work with their clients. And offer them the best solutions regarding surrogacy and IVF. I am sure the result will be positive if you contact them. Although this procedure can be expensive but it is worth the while.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-17-2018, 01:08 PM
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it's sad to know about your story. it is really pinching. I was thinking how you bear all these pains. because I say its enough whenever pain might get out of control. you also spent a lot of time and budget. I know we feel sad when we spend money and don't get favorable results. well, I heard a news that London open house is coming on 18 19 of August. we can find answers to our queries. I think it's free of costs. don't be late to attend the open house ceremony. your time surely benefits you. once go there and ask what you want. oh yes, I also know about the email address. [email protected]. have a goodness there.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-18-2018, 02:08 AM
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Hi, Pheobe! Good to hear from you again. Hope you are fine at your end. I am really sorry for the troubles you are facing. You are really brave women. Don't worry and keep going. Surrogacy is the option in which your child will be biologically related to you. Surrogate mother will not keep the baby. You just be aware in choosing the clinic. The clinic Biotexcom is doing best in this era. I had my treatments from there. the good news is that they are coming to London this August. They'll have an open session and will give all the information related to infertility and surrogacy. I suggest you don't miss it. Hope all your worries will vanish away. Good luck in advance.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-20-2018, 10:54 AM
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Good luck, single mothers are strong women because they could stand on their own. I know you can make it and that there are people around there who are with you in terms of support.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-06-2019, 09:36 PM
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Hi, Phoebe! It's been a while since you posted, I hope you're doing well! I saw a thread earlier about a couple facing a problem with having a baby... I truly hope everyone who posted their problems here, asking for advice, are all healthy and happy. Wishing you all the best!
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-15-2019, 10:13 PM
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It's late, but I hope you can still read this. There will always be risks in undergoing fertility treatments, but if that's what you want and the doctor gave you the green light, then go for it. I hope you have a healthy, happy family now.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-30-2020, 04:19 AM
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There's nothing wrong to become a single mom. Its just that the kid has a mum and dad with one body. More power to all single mums. Sooner or later you will be having a partner that will love you and the kid. Visit my website
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