I am married with an 11 year old daughter. My husband and I are very fortunate. We are very comfortable. My brother is "divorced'? (common law) from a women. He has custody of their two sons, 14 and 12. He has visitation rights of a daughter from another relationship. (The daughter is his also)
I am what I would like to say close to my brother. He has not had the best in life. Hell who has??? I have been more fortunate than him and I have tried to help him as much as he will let me. He is very independent and very competent. He is very capable and his sons are very like him! I know I was there when he grew up. What can I do to help him so as not to make him feel that he is asking for help?
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It would help to know what kind of help you believe he needs. Financial, emotional, family, etc? You say he's independent, competent and capable. That doesn't really tell me that he would need any help. What kind of areas do you think he's struggling in?

Just for any single parent, a nice thing would be offering maybe to take the kids for a night or weekend. Or maybe bringing over something to eat since it is 3 guys all in one house...they probably go through food like a tornado.

If he lives close to you ask him to have dinner with you as a family every, let's say, Wednesday. Then if he is doing a really good job as a single dad make sure that he knows it and that the boys hear it too. Maybe with three guys living together he could use some house cleanning and organizing help?? That would be a nice gesture to start with. Maybe you can do it or get him a cleanning service twice a month.

I agree with Juni's food issue.

Very cool that you care so much for your brother.

I'll second the dinner invite, or just bring over some casseroles in disposable pans that he could keep in the freezer. And also ASK to watch his kids, I mean, offer it like it would actually be something you would enjoy, not a chore. I'm hesitant to ask my family to watch my son for me, because I feel like it's MY responsibility, not theirs. But if my mom or my brother actually WANTED to spend time with my son, it would make me feel better

Thanks! His kids are great! Two boys are a handful and also very independent. When they get together with my daughter oh boy!! His daughter is a doll! They are welcome here anytime, they live about 1 hr away.

They all know how much emotional support they have from me and their dad. My concern is $. I do not want to send cash, but I do want to help out. Each time I see him I do give him cash, but that is not often. Maybe I could send him a "care package".

Thanks DJ, Juni, and uhhh Big C, I think you guys gave me a great idea!!!!

Oh, I thought of something else If you wanted to contribute monetarily, but feel uncomfortable giving cash - how about buying the kid's some school clothes? Or really just buying clothing/shoes for them periodically might be better. Or maybe including a new package of socks/underwear in your care packages? HTH

Good idea DJ but what if I buy something dorkey or uncool? These guys are at that age. Socks and underwear yeah I can do that.. Maybe I should stick with food and stuff like that!

Thanks!