Mum's of ASD kids... - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-05-2006, 09:39 AM Thread Starter
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Mum's of ASD kids...

I was just wondering... How did you feel when you finally got that diagnosis?

For us it was relief.. I knew something was not right w/ my DS from day 1 and when he was about 2... I started reading about Autism here and there... By 2 1/2 I finally asked my Dr. flat aout about ADS and was shot down. I brought it up several more times and was told to wait until he went to school, what a load of shit *sigh* I've since grown a spine Click here to enlarge So anyway... when he was 4 his teacher called me after the 1st week and suggested to get him tested... And I said, "Let me guess for autism right?" Click here to enlarge
So when we got our diagnosis at 4, it was validation for me (just knowing that I wasn't necessarily the worlds worst parent Click here to enlarge ) and I felt so empowered to give DS's quirks a name, to be given even a vague map on what to do w/ him to help him and to know that now we knew what we were up against we could get down to work w/ him and our lives may just improve.

But... My step-moms sister recently got a diagosis for her 3 1/2 yr old and she was devistated and has almost shut down as far as parenting goes... It's like she gave up, like her DS as she knew him died and she is mourning Click here to enlarge Very sad Click here to enlarge

Anyway... How did you handle the diagnosis?
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-02-2007, 11:28 AM
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(My 9yo's diagnoses include Asperger's, Anxiety Disorder-NOS with OCD Features, and hearing loss)

It was a huge relief to me. It was validation that his brain really does work differently than most kids', that there was a reason my parenting style wasn't working for him. And the Asperger's diagnosis in particular was a big flashing arrow pointing to help! Resources! Support! Now I knew what books to read, what support networks to seek out, what to tell people when they wanted to know how to handle him.

He's still my son, same kid he's always been. He's not a label (or several labels). But having the labels opened a gate onto a whole new road—one that has not been easy to walk but at least it's the right road, whereas before I was just wandering aimlessly.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-02-2007, 08:44 PM
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we don't have a medical diagnosis yet. Part of me is yearning for it and part of me wants to run and hide from it. We go to the developmental ped on January 9. I don't think she will diagnose that day, but I'm not sure. We did do a 30 day teaching diagnostic program at the school and the school is already doing everything for him that they would do if he did have the diagnosis. This ped has a 6 mo. waiting list so it's just taking some time to get it going.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-03-2007, 06:25 AM
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I knew for a long time that something wasn't quite right. Quinn is a very different child. By the time we got the diagnosis I knew it was autism. It still sucked hearing it but I recovered quickly. It was harder on everyone else, including dh since they were still clinging to hope he wasn't.

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-03-2007, 07:10 AM
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I knew for awhile that Hayden was a bit more than just "quirky", and I think that's why I constantly told everyone, "he doesn't talk yet". as soon as I met them. I don't know I wanted them to say... something other than "he's a boy and some boys don't talk until later", or "ohh.. so and so didn't talk until he was 5". So it was a big relief for me when the pediatrician said it was more than likely autism.

DH was very, very Click here to enlargehearted when we got that initial prognosis (before we saw the developmental ped.) and wept like a child for 2 days. He saw it as an end to all the dreams he had for Hayden. Now, he's seeing that there are plenty of autistic adults who are leading productive lives and he's getting better with it, but he still has days where he's incredibly angry.

I'm not sure about the rest of my family... (my Mom is great) but the rest of them I think pity us or something. We're constantly being praised on how "strong" we are. I don't know how to take that.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 03:04 PM
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My son has Asperger's Syndrome. I was relieved by the diagnosis, because I had been expecting it for a long time. He was always a very "different" child, and I knew something was up. A diagnosis meant finally getting school support and having answers regarding my son's more unusual behaviours.

Any parent who believes such a diagnosis is the end of the world needs a good smack. Kids do not come with guarantees. They do not exist to fulfill our dreams or give us someone to live through, vicariously, later in life. ASD is not cancer or a spontaneous brain injury that radically alters the path of a child's life. There is nothing to grieve. This is who your child is, and as their parent, you'd better damned well accept and love them for who they are, not grieve who you hoped they might be one day, because that fantasy child never existed. Even profoundly autistic adults can go on to lead happy, meaningful, lives, and contribute to the world in their own way. A happy, healthy life is all I want for my son, and a happy, healthy life starts with the love and acceptance of your parents.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-22-2009, 10:05 AM
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Ok I know this thread is a bit old but I wanted to comment on it.



My middle child has this dx.


It was RELIEF! And in a weird twist of events it also led us to discover that my husband was actually an Aspie and NOT bipolar like everyone always thought he was.


There was a real reason for some behaviors that hurt me in the past and it was a chance for us to heal as a couple.



So in an odd way my son's dx saved my marriage. How strange is that?
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