To change Schools or not to change schools - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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View Poll Results: Would you move him or keep him where he is at?
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-01-2018, 10:10 AM Thread Starter
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To change Schools or not to change schools

Hi, my boyfriend and I recently found out his ex wife is now in Jail for the 2nd time for drugs. We are pursuing obtaining custody of his son. The difficult things is he would have to start a new school for the 2nd time this year. His mother in January switch schools and then switch him back 3 weeks later. His son is slightly autistic so he struggles with change. Currently he is staying with his mothers parents to keep some consistency for him. They seem to care, grandpa has a hot temper and grandma gives him EVERYTHING! He is 8 years old and already has the worst potty mouth I have ever heard. Not sure if this is from mom or grandpa. We are considering leaving him with her grandparents until the end of the school year but not sure if this is the right thing to do. When he moves in with us he will have to go to daycare and currently he comes home from school goes directly to his "living room", plays on his electronics until bed time. I am struggling with what is right he needs stability right now and he has it at grandma & Grandpa but he would receive the nurturing he so desperately desires from us. Thanks for letting me vent. I think I know what I want but I want to hear what you all think.
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-08-2018, 04:49 AM
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Well, that's pretty difficult. The boy's life is gonna be ruined if he keeps on doing this. He needs proper parenting. He needs to be taught the difference between right and wrong. He might not listen to you because you're not his mom. Whatever you'll do, he won't like it. You should ask your boyfriend to do everything. I mean, you should help him of course. But don't portray yourself doing all this in front his son. The boy may listen to his father. Bring him to stay with you. Teach him what's good for him and what's not. Make a timetable for him to follow. He shouldn't spend too much time playing games. I hope you understand. Good luck!
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-08-2018, 06:25 AM
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Sorry to see you in this situation. I know it's hard to deal with it. In fact, it's quite a complex situation. I know how you must be feeling. But I am hopeful that it'll be fine. You shouldn't worry much about it. I can understand your situation. You're worried for the little boy. I don't think he'll come to stay with you. He's happy with his grandparents. They're giving him everything he wants. All his wishes are being fulfilled. I wish his mother had taken care of him instead of being more interested in drugs. The poor boy. It's not his fault. I feel really bad for him.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-08-2018, 08:36 AM
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Hey! I hope you are fine. Well, I don't know how to deal with this situation. It's really difficult to cope with it. I hope you find a solution to your problem. But I think you can do one thing. The boy's father would be able to handle this matter in a better way. Tell me one thing. Does the boy have good terms with you? Do you think he'll listen to you? I mean does he consider you a good friend? All these questions are very important to understand. You have to be careful while handling this matter. Make sure to deal with him nicely. I hope everything gets fine soon.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-08-2018, 08:58 AM
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Hey pretty. How are you doing? I know it is a tough situation. But, you need to act smartly. Stay calm and then make a decision. I think you should leave the boy with the grandparents for the time being. Let him continue his studies there. The grandparents are looking after him well. They are fulfilling his requirements. The food, the schooling, the accommodations, indeed everything. Then you should leave him there. Once he is done with it you can bring him back. If he really wants to. Talk to your boyfriend. what does he say? I hope you solve out the matter soon. Good luck to you.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-08-2018, 09:05 AM
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Well, it is quite confusing. His real mom did not think about the boy's future. Pretty strange. I think you should let him complete this year. If his grandparents look after him well, leave him there. Let him complete this year. After, this you should bring him to you. A mother's love is very important. He must be needing it with the passage of time. What sort of relations do you have with the boy? Do you think he will love you as he did to his mom? Think well and decide about it. Is your boyfriend ready to support you on this? Think of all the aspects before reaching the conclusion. I hope everything goes as you have planned it to be. Fingers crossed. Best of luck!
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-18-2018, 02:46 AM
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Hi dear, How are you? I hope you must be fine. Well, your situation looks very complicated. I know it must be hard for you to deal with it. Because the boy looks stubborn. Moreover, you can not convince him of anything because you are a stranger to him. He will not listen to you even if you are doing good for him. If his grandparents take care of him and he is happy with them too. Then you should not compel him to live with you. Leave him there for some time. Let him complete his studies. Because he needs attention. He needs his mother's love which you can't give him because you are not his real mom. I think his grandparents can give him everything he wants. So be careful while taking any decision.
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