I'm a lying liar (among other things) - Sybermoms Parenting Forum
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I'm a lying liar (among other things)

Posted 04-06-2009 at 04:56 AM by OverTheTop

The lying liar part is really not that scandalous, but I'm still a lying liar. I have a new job - a second job. It's just a job as a staff nurse on a PRN basis at the hospital where my sister works. I was supposed to work tonight, but I called out this morning. I feel like I have done nothing but work lately, and I really miss my family. Last week I worked at the second job on Monday, had a class on Tuesday night, then worked Thursday through Saturday nights. That meant I only saw my husband for a few hours one night, and my kids for just a few minutes each day.

This week my schedule consisted of work tonight, class tomorrow night, then work Wednesday through Friday nights. I'm taking a mental health night. I'm physically and mentally worn down. The cherry on top is that UNC and Michigan State are playing tonight. I have missed almost every Carolina game this year, and this is one I just couldn't stand the thought of missing. I spent Saturday night in and out of a patient's room, checking up on the game. She was under strict instructions to hit the call bell and say that she needed me fast if anything good started happening in the game. She did her job really great too - you have to love cool patients. :lol

In other news, my dad had his second round of chemo last Thursday, and did well this time. He has been diagnosed with extensive small-cell lung cancer. The final diagnosis came on March 19 - one day after his 74th birthday. We were told that without chemo he'd be dead in 3 months or less, and that with chemo he'd maybe get a year. I was surprised when he decided to go the chemo route, since he's always been so scared of chemo. His fear is justified - my mother died 8 1/2 years ago from a reaction to chemo. Anyway, after his first treatment he ended up in the ER with horrible chest pain, but they changed the drug and the second treatment went much better.

His diagnosis was a huge blow to me. I have always been a daddy's girl, and losing him is going to be like dying myself. I had an incredibly hard time dealing with the loss of my mom, and I know that it's going to be even worse when Daddy dies. Luckily, there is a very caring doctor who works with me at the hospital, who prescribed Zoloft and Xanax to help me get through. I haven't cried once since I started the Zoloft. Before that, I couldn't make it through a few hours without breaking down and sobbing. I'd still be a basketcase if not for that. I have only had to take the Xanax a couple times, and that is because I quit smoking. It has been 11 days now and I don't even want to look at a cigarette now, much less smoke one. I honestly can't believe it took me this long to decide to quit. You'd think Daddy having stage IV laryngeal cancer 5 years ago would have made me quit - but I was totally addicted and very stubborn.

I now realize just how strong my genetic risk is (I've had 2 aunts, an uncle and my dad diagnosed with lung CA) and I just want to do everything I can to lower my odds.

Anyway, that's more than I ever wanted to say in this blog, but there you go. I now have to go see two kids about getting ready for school. This might get ugly.
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Comments

  1. Old
    So sorry to hear about your dad. :( I will be thinking of you.
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    Posted 04-07-2009 at 08:39 PM by Sweetness Sweetness is offline
  2. Old
    ImaC's Avatar
    my thoughts are with you and your family. I know you and I had similar bad experiences with mourning our moms and I know how this must feel. :grope
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    Posted 04-08-2009 at 08:56 AM by ImaC ImaC is offline
  3. Old
    OverTheTop's Avatar
    Thanks, guys.
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    Posted 04-14-2009 at 06:19 AM by OverTheTop OverTheTop is offline
 
 
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