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  Topic Review (Newest First)
11-15-2020 06:34 AM
aboelsoud6 How to develop the skills of your young children
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02-24-2014 09:56 AM
GretchenF I empathize about the texting stuff. It seems to be the norm here that the girls all start texting in 6th grade, and I've had moms tell me that they feel like they can't opt out of it without their kids being alienated. But these same moms also tell me that the texting and social media causes about 95% of the drama.

My DD is almost 8 and has a Jane, although her Jane is more difficult and can be malicious. I finally intervened and told her to back off and it seems to have helped some, but we mostly see them at the pool so it will start back up again this summer.
02-23-2014 06:40 PM
tiddlywink And I do feel sad for the young Janes. I'm sure some of them have just been spoiled brats, but I suspect more of them have unstable home lives or feelings of insecurity that kids just shouldn't have to feel so young.
02-23-2014 06:38 PM
tiddlywink Just keep talking with her. There will be many Janes in her life, so no time like the present to learn how to deal with them without getting too emotionally invested.

I imagine one day Jane will totally cross a line irt technology, and that will be a learning moment too. They are so young for texting. They are old enough to understand that once something is said, it can't be unsaid, but it's even more cementing when it is typed up and dispersed into the cyberworld.
02-23-2014 05:09 PM
SquigSoup Sammi doesn't have an instagram (in spite of her suddenly i-thingy filled life), but she does have a Jane who goes to her before school program who just won't leave her alone. Sammi has tried writing a contract with this girl so she won't be bossy, talking to the guidance counselor, talking to the BASP counselors...so far nothing has helped.

I have no advice, just empathy.
02-23-2014 04:46 PM
Pseudonymph Rosie has a couple of Janes and it bugs her. She also has issues with Instagram but since 99% of her online interactions with her non-clingy, controlling friends are positive, I am fine with her keeping her social media. I encourage her to block people who bug her and only deal with them in real life.



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02-23-2014 04:27 PM
Spicoli I do believe Jane is a great little kid, she is just really struggling with her own issues right now and unfortunately, because of the friendship between her and my dd she lashes out at her or puts her down. We both really adore her, but not always her actions. They have known each other more than half their lives, but really became good friends last year.
02-23-2014 04:24 PM
funkytown She will have Janes in and out her life forever, so just try to think of it as practice. If she's already drawing boundaries with Jane, isn't getting caught up in it, and isn't letting it rattle her, she's already doing better than a lot of grown ass women. I'd just keep the lines of communication open with your dd, so you can help her maneuver it, and try not to worry or get terribly annoyed. For me, it's always helpful to remind myself that the other child is a child, too. It can't be easy to be ten and feel like you need to make everyone be your friend, or else.
02-23-2014 04:22 PM
Spicoli Oh and I did have her tell her friend to delete the bff instagram account.
02-23-2014 04:20 PM
Spicoli Well, the only thing that has made her cry about this whole thing is when the girl told her to get out of the picture and that was a real life thing not a social media thing. My dd doesn't engage with the texts or instagram stuff at all. She is rarely on her iPad, but I obviously can't convince anyone of that. When she is on it, she is primarily playing mine craft or floppy bird. Oh well
02-23-2014 04:12 PM
Hester I just think it os a bad idea, but if you are fine with it, it's not our business.



02-23-2014 03:59 PM
Spicoli So, save the manipulation and meanness for real life?
02-23-2014 03:58 PM
Spicoli
Quote:
Originally Posted by pepper View Post
I don't mean to sound judgy about the texting/instagram stuff.... I just get worried about kids using it so much and the potential for hurt feelings, meanness and bullying that goes along with it.
I don't think you're being judgy I am comfortable with the extent that my dd uses it and other than this one girl it has been a good thing for her. She has learned how to be sensitive with what she posts and it has been a good method to connect the girls who are geographically not close to each other. Dd doesn't really post a bunch of pictures at all.
02-23-2014 03:57 PM
mamashack I would get rid of the social media at 10 and keep texting only for family. There is a lifetime for her to be manipulated via texting and social media, no need to get a jump on it
02-23-2014 03:55 PM
Hester She's only 10, you have a great opportunity to steer her away from being involved in this drama.



02-23-2014 03:53 PM
pepper I don't mean to sound judgy about the texting/instagram stuff.... I just get worried about kids using it so much and the potential for hurt feelings, meanness and bullying that goes along with it.
02-23-2014 03:52 PM
califred Yes Id get rid of texting for a 10 yr old except to me.
02-23-2014 03:49 PM
pepper I agree with Hester- sounds like a lot of potential for weird shit to happen over text/instagram.
It's good that your daughter is laid back about it- I'd be annoyed as hell if I were you... but yes, Jane is clearly struggling with her self esteem.
02-23-2014 03:45 PM
Spicoli Who my dd? She is really not on it very much. Maybe 20-30 minutes a day. She has an iPad and texts/facetimes with her friends. All of her texts come to me as well. She also does have an instagram, but I am a heavy monitor on it. She's private and I only let her accept followers from people she knows. I am logged into her instagram on my phone so I see everything that goes down. She uses both to communicate with girls from her gym because they are all spread out geographically.

With all of this drama though I am really appreciating my technologically apathetic tween.
02-23-2014 03:37 PM
Hester That's pretty young to have that much access to social networking sites. I would monitor what she is sending and receiving every single day, for a while.



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