"You're not Judge Judy and Executioner."

Oh I've been waiting for another one of these!

The other day my someone was complaining about problems with their eye ducks

From a friend's FB feed. This is not my friend's post, btw.

"Why y'all acting like just now the world gettin messed up? What about slavery? The hall of cost? Pick up a book."

I was looking at compost tumblers this morning because its too hot to actually work in the garden These were two different comments in response to a question about one of the features on a tumbler:

"there is a spot where you can add a spickett."

" yes, the spickett can be on either side depending on how you set it up."

Two different people, mind you. I weep for humanity.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2

non-self published hardcover book.

speaking of a dachshund:

He'll occasionally sachet to the water bowl.

I guess with a little purse in his paws?

Hachette Book Group, I'm holding you responsible.

"The wedding dress has never been worn and no altercation done to it"

I saw, “becking call” the other day.

"pedestrians have the right away"

how would one go about this?

"we need to ban together as a group"

...

low self of steam

I saw summer salt on fb today

"unlike some pre-MADONNA PRO ATHLETES"

Saw a "judge mental" today

As seen on Craigslist, "Reached a Plato?"

from the gaming world
Enjoy being Band

Another for the Wayne's coating list.

From an iTunes review

"The greatest live album ever, bar nun."



I can see a group of Sisters in habits, throwing back shots and hustling at pool

I finally saw one! "The cashier's job is to ring up the merchant dice."

Apparently, doing reviews isn't their "fourtay".
I almost peed myself laughing when i saw that on FB.

Someone asked me about using a hamidown carseat for her new baby last night. I swear i spent three minutes googling before it clicked

milktoast



I've only ever seen it spelled milquetoast

if its not posted its 55. So another words people don't know traffic laws

"Take people's smacktalk with a grain assault"

You can't make this stuff up.

Check out this attractive fo animal print chair

On my local eff bee buy a sell group people are selling shit made of "rod iron" all the time. Someone even did a post pointing out the proper spelling, but on it goes. Another broad on there once sold a bunch of "tang" tops. She posted a different picture for each one, and every goddamn one said tang top.

Dubby, I've also seen "rot iron"

I saw a good one the other day, someone shared a recipe and in the comments, some woman chastised the sharer for using butter "as a pose to" margarine

I like the ones that post in pet groups/ads that they have "pure bread" animals.

Drug Attics
This one almost hurt to read. My attic is on drugs!

I have my kids on a rooteen.

OMG...I wish you could meet up! We have a presidential sweet at the boardwalk inn

On craigslist once I saw " I will not be your escape goat any more!" and now my whole family uses "escape goat".

a recent referral to clothes that are outgrown and passed down from older children to younger children...."hammydowns".

Someone I know has strep throat and had to go on ivy meds.

And this cannot be an autocorrect.

"made a mountain out of a mow hill again"

Oh oh oh!! I saw one today!!!
The lady was "Fit to be tide".

Finally

In a discussion board post in my art appreciation class, a girl posted how the artist was "ahead of the curb"

It takes an active congress.

I read, "they have a tendency to rest on their morals once they've completed the project".

My laurels are getting tired. I'm gonna rest on my morals for awhile.